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Next Quiz Date: January 11, 2014
Subject: 999 (Nintendo DS)
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319280 Posts in 13036 Topics by 2145 Members
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3931  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: FFXIII-2 on: January 22, 2011, 05:02:43 AM
I figured she was just halfassing Lenneth's outfit.
3932  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Pun thread on: January 21, 2011, 10:26:39 PM
Puns are the lowest form of humor, next to Carrot Top.

Puns are more like sharp wit rather than straight comedy, especially when done well.

At the very least it's far and away better than mindlessly hurling a fucking shitload of swears or shit, fart, and penis jokes at people like a lot of stand ups/various AS(s) programs do.
3933  The Rest / The Helper Monkey / Re: Ys Oath in Felghana trouble... on: January 17, 2011, 05:24:47 PM
A lot of times the difference one level can make could change a boss fight from an exercise of anal rapeage to manageable.

Beyond that, treat them like Megaman bosses. Go in a few times just to find out what to watch for and when to choose to go on the offensive or defensive. Remember you don't have any healing items, the number of mistakes you can make per boss fight is limited.
3934  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Squeenix registers FF XIII-2 domain name on: January 16, 2011, 01:29:41 PM
It's definitely a sequel, though a chapter where you play as Fang and Vanille in Oerba before it is destroyed would be a nice adition, they could show us Pulse before the events of the main game and then jump in time and continue the story after the main game, it could be a prequel and a sequel! Man, I'm a genius.

I highly suspect that it will actually star Lightning, Vanille, and some new chick as they fly around Pulse collecting Pulseariums and Dress Pulses that let them play dress up on the fly (since if they don't they take costume damage and nobody wants that) all the while visiting hot springs, performing J-Pop concerts, and competing with a rival all female group of bounty hunters by massaging them for the sake of gathering clues on how to save their beloved Frocobo and the meaning behind this mysterious person who looks like a lot like Lighting save for short blonde hair fighting tentacle demons who seems to be involved with the Frocobo somehow.
3935  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: The 3rd Birthday on: January 15, 2011, 10:53:47 PM
Welp, I just read the plot synopsis and you guys were right on the money back on page 15 of this thread.

Massive spoilers for the plot:
Code:
Aya now having PE2's Eve's power (and the mind of an adolescent) is explained that she doesn't nor ever gets Eve's power because Aya is not Aya but Eve. The glass shards that form the tentacle monster's body is Aya and this was set up by that well dressed evil looking guy because he's the well dressed evil guy. Eventually Eve goes back in time to the wedding to successfully body snatch Aya's body then put a bullet into Eve/Aya's head so that nobody can use her body for evil anymore.

The entire point of the game is for Aya/Eve to kill Eve/Aya. Character Assassinated!
3936  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Pun thread on: January 15, 2011, 01:14:16 AM
'i got her peas'

nevermind :((((((((((((

And now you know why I pretty much SPELLED OUT my pun.
3937  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: RPGFan's Games of the Year on: January 15, 2011, 01:12:15 AM
The answer to this is simple.

Not enough numbers.

It's pretty much the sole reason why the Zelda series isn't considered an RPG and yet games like Secret of Mana and Illusion of Gaia are. Similarly why the 2D Metroids aren't RPGs yet the Metroidvanias are. A more modern example would be why FFXIII is considered an RPG while Night Trap isn't.

Apparently, RDR didn't have enough numbers, but yet ME2 did hence it's DOMINATOR!!! achieve over the rest of this this year's chaff. Heavy Rain is just in a completely different kettle of fish.
3938  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: RPGFan's Games of the Year on: January 14, 2011, 08:19:33 PM
Heavy Rain is a graphic adventure, no doubt about it.

Eh. I found myself preferring Deadly Premonition over Heavy Rain, but then Deadly Premonition was more Majora's Mask-ish with some Resident Evil 4-ness slapped on for the requisite action segments than the QTE-a-thon Heavy Rain was.
3939  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Pun thread on: January 14, 2011, 04:50:58 AM
This thread is no phun.
3940  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: RPGFan's Games of the Year on: January 14, 2011, 04:47:25 AM
With ME2 I keep wondering where that line between what is and what isn't an RPG is.

That said, gotta lol at P3P tying the PSP runner up category with Y's 3. Nothing otherwise to say except that what the fuck is Golden Sun doing in the DS runner up category? It's basically Golden Sun: The Next Generation right down to the exact same 'go buy part 2' ending, and I can guarantee you that when part 2 comes along you'll find out that your part 1 party were propagating the destruction of the world by hindering the guys who are actually trying to fix it and the rest of the plot threads from part 1 will be completely forgotten. DQIX or Lufia: CotS both would've been better choices in my opinion.

Everything else though is exactly as I suspected (except the Wii, but fuck the Wii). Both SMTs won out on two different categories, Mass Effect 2 was considered enough of an RPG, New Vegas and Nier both got their props, and Y's Seven won top PSP for being completely awesome (even the plot which is something that I should hate for being as predictable as it is but can't for some reason) otherwise it would have gone to P3P.

Gotta say though, 2010 was both one of the most hyped and most underwhelming years in RPG history.
3941  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Which Final Fantasy Has The Best Story and Why? on: January 14, 2011, 03:27:21 AM
Also note that basically any fan summary is going to be 90% fanon and only 10% based on the actual game. If you read a fan summary and felt like you missed everything, it's probably because the summarizer is insane.

That's because they keep trying to tie it in with all the compilation crap and or Cloud's appearance in FFT.
3942  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Dragon Quest VI appears on: January 14, 2011, 03:17:33 AM
Yet one more reason to get it day one beyond it vanishing off the face of fucking earth like V apparently did.

Hopefully I'll have enough money leftover from getting Wheel of Fortune, Hair Metal Pack, and maybe Radiant History (assuming it's even half as good as it's potential suggests) for this.
3943  Media / Anime, TV, and Movies / Re: Thought this was funny: Movies if made in Japan on: January 12, 2011, 03:42:19 PM
You mean like Ringu and it's ilk?
3944  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Which Final Fantasy Has The Best Story and Why? on: January 12, 2011, 03:15:50 AM
Refresh my memory, it's been some 8 years probably since I played last.

All I remember was the title's ...diminishing fun factor after a few summons were in my inventory.  Mind you, back then I wasn't really "old enough" to want to take on the weapons (something I wouldn't mind doing again).

Basically Shina's all like killin' the planet man and dis'n the shinto spirits and disrespectin' all da elders, tradition, and such for the sake of the monies and dat blingin' Materia. They get into some kind of world war with not Japan while also racin' 2 da spacen' and knock up some bitch and a bunch of bros with alien D.N.A. found up in not Canada for some supra SOLDIERs. Then Doctor Light meets some crazy gypsy whore sellin' him some herbal remedies (bong sold separately) who tells him the spirits of the planet commuuune to her to warn that technology and materia possessions are bad mmkay, and that alien on the rocks that they harvest for THE SCIENCE!!! ended their Space Odyssey back in 2001 and will end theirs as well should she wake up, then tells him while hopped up on da remedies to board her mothership, then Doctor Wily shows up to cap some ass and no man let alone mega shows up to save the day. Then some dirt farmin' nobody decides to join the army only to find out that the war ended due to a bunch of peace-nick hippies protests thus leaving the only honor left to be found on the battlefield was in the latrines which was hardly befitting for a samurai (aside from that one time where his bishie military commander got hooked on phonics then performed some pyrotechnics on some village in the not Swiss alps). Then two Trinoble disasters happen (one next to some generic southern coal mining town and the other in a not South American village next to an Indian reservation). Then the game happens. Then a elderly not native American tiger/Charmander and his two pups stare at the decaying ruins of old not New York shouting at some maniacs about something involving blowing something up or something.

Code:
The stuff that happens in the middle is that a bunch of terrorists go on a jihad against the man until their rebel base on Sector 7G is destroyed by a bunch of AT-ATs and the sky falling, meanwhile one of them meets some crazy gypsy whore fighting the law and decides that the law should lose, then the law won. The last remnants of the jihadists decide to fuck it all and just climb some not very shiny not very golden wire to bring down the man directly. They meet some not native American tiger/Charmander/rapist fucking over that crazy gypsy whore for Dr Wily's amusement and want in on the action but instead they go directly to jail without passing Go or collecting 200 gil. Then they mount a daring escape from which mountain to finally off the man once and for all to find that the man has been offed once and for all by the dirt farming/jihadist's former commander then promptly escape from which mountain again in what is the misleading CGI used in all the TV advertisements of the game. The dirt farming/latrine cleaning punk then decides to bore everyone to tears with his epic tales of feats and heroism (little of which were true), then promptly run afoul of a grizzly murder scene of a huge fucking snake at which point the dirt farming punk quips about 'more than the world' before pausing to put on some shades before continuing with 'being at stake', then The Who starts playing one of their songs while a Chocobo races across a swamp. Then stuff happens until they get on a boat and finally meat the punk's old commander who's now even more hooked on phonics and turns into mutant space alien. Then more stuff happens until the angry black guy gets chewed out by a bunch of southern hillbillies livin' in shanty town and some angry white dude ruins their stay at the Indian reservation casino by making them race chocobos. Then even more stuff happens until they reach a not native American reservation, calm some spirits, admire some scenery, and smoke'em peace pipe with the tribe's shaman/not native American tiger/Charmander's grandpappy (note: his human daughter gave physical birth to the tiger/Charmander) and learn that the planet's dyin' man. Then they get utterly confused by the inconsistencies between punk's likely story and the town itself and its current residence of a bunch of alien possessed cultists and their leader/punk's new former commander who throws them a chunk of materia bling. Then they meet an abusive, wife-beating, sailor/starship captain/only DMV certified driver on the planet and one of the man's men gets hit by a truck out of fucking nowhere. Then the dirt farming punk and the angry black dude ride a gondola and perform in a play together. Then all the party's materia possessions get repossessed by some Narutard chick who in turn gets repossessed by a fat bastard. Then they go tomb raiding and the walkie talkie doll becomes a real boy before getting crushed like a ford pinto in a trash compactor. Then the punk flips out on alien D.N.A. and hands the world destroying macguffin to his former commander. Then the crazy gypsy whore goes off on a plan that cannot possibly fail, the punk nearly flips out on alien D.N.A. again and wusses out on ridding the world of another dirty hippie forcing his commander to cleanup yet another of his messes. Then they promptly fight another mutant space alien. Then its time to change disks. Then they go up a mountain. Then they meet a bunch of cultists going to sleep in their purple blankets in a crater. Then they meet the punk's new new former commander who hands the world destroying macguffin to the original punk's commander who's gellin'. Then titty mctits wakes up and gets into a cat fight on top of a huge phallic metaphor. Then they find the punk doped on hope. Then fetch questin' for ultimate powa' starring abusive, wife-beating, sailor. Then titty mctits goes cosmosphere diving into the doped up punk when Godzilla comes to town. Then they learn that the crazy gypsy whore used her wicca magic to counter the alien D.N.A. possessed former commander of the punk. Then they fight Mecha Godzilla. Then they return to which mountain paratrooper style to fight it out with the surviving men of the man and Dr Wily (who took over when Mecha Godzilla shot up which mountain and killing the rich white boy who took over when the man got his shawshank redemption as it were). Then the Hindenburg gets an upgrade and its time to change disks again. Then chocobo breeding. Then chocobo racing. Then more chocobo breeding. Then more chocobo racing. Then even more chocobo racing. Then moseying into battle with the alien queen and her solar system destroying son. Then CGIs of everybody getting fucked over by both the former commander's witchcraft and the crazy gypsy whore's wiccacraft until the planet gets up off its lazy ass and saves itself.

/FFVII synopsis

Man, what a waste. Nobody in their right mind is going to read all of this shit.
3945  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: The "N" Word on: January 10, 2011, 10:55:13 PM

I take it that your sarcasm detector must be broken.

And this quote chain has produced some irony as well.
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