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4156  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Wii U to be 299/349$ and controllers ~175$ on: November 03, 2012, 05:24:29 AM
I blame Skrillex.

Little did Ted Simpson know, his plan of creating a killer computer virus to destroy the Eastern Seaboard would be thwarted by a killer hurricane and shoddy programming.
4157  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: super robot wars original generations 2 for ps3 on: November 02, 2012, 03:19:08 PM
I don't know. I thought it demonstrated supports well by having a support bot/spirit battery/Gundam Hucklebein duct taped to a battleship hanging around patching up Ibis after her failures to dodge the weakest of grunts in the seat of what is probably one of the more dodgy Reals of the prior games.

Either way it's at least better than Ryusei's route in OG1 where its just Elzam soloing less than a handful of Aerogater bugs out in space in his Trombe.
4158  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: super robot wars original generations 2 for ps3 on: November 02, 2012, 04:26:18 AM
That was kind of underwheming compared to the Z2-2 prologue.

To be fair though, Z2-2's prologue was a bunch of series' season 1's finales playing out one after the other. You'd be hard pressed to find anything that isn't underwhelming compared to that.
4159  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: The NEW Game Journal on: November 02, 2012, 04:22:02 AM
So between Something Awful being on a Lurker :frogout: kick lately and seeing Level 5 having their 'Other M' moment with Gundam AGE I decided to pay a visit to the LP Archives and run through the Dark Cloud 2 LP just to see if one of their more highly regarded games also suffers from atrocious writing and blatant misogyny as pretty much everything else they've done did. It does.

In all honesty I went through most of the LP assuming that Max(the main character)'s mom was going to die after spending the entire game as his metaphorical carrot on a stick like a cheap piece of drama fodder and I'll give them credit for not killing her off (not that she wasn't ripped away from Max for the sake of cheap melodrama). Of course, she didn't need to when EVERY GODDAMN VILLAIN IN THE GODDAMN GAME DID (save for the Russian Mafia Clown from the beginning who simply gets jobbed like a cheap piece of comic relief and the Bonus Boss who's only purpose is to be the bonus boss). There seriously wasn't a goddamn fight with these guys that didn't come laden with melodramatic flashbacks and death speeches and all of them were nothing but one-dimensional villainous caricatures with obligatory villainous monologues and rants as their only development prior (except for the first fight with the villain that killed Monica(the female character)'s dad which ended with somebody else dying and giving the requisite flashbacks and death speeches instead, and the Rocker Doctor who just got hauled off to sea by the game's Larpas tribe but got his requisite sob story relayed by his descendent in his stead). And worse still is that both Gaspard (the guy who offs Monica's dad at the beginning) and later Emperor Griffon (the big bad; but not the BIG big bad) both pull the exact same maternal abandonment issues that Max's been pulling since the very start of the game except they were shunned (boo hoo :qqsay:) which is why they immediately turned to "Rarr! I must destroy the world! Rarr!" despite said maternal figures advising otherwise (and given that Max is deprived of his mother too because she's a selfish whore who had to do the nasty in the pasty but conveniently cannot stay due to belonging in the future, he's likely to be Dark Cloud 3's big bad (but not BIG big bad because he needs to turn out to be sympathetic and misguided too) if Dark Cloud 3 ever gets made (god forbid)).

And then there's Monica, the other protagonist, who's entire role in the game can be summed up in five points.
- She's a magical, time-traveling, princess, from the future.
- Who's holding the Triforce of Wisdom blue plot macguffin that enables travel to the past.
- And is out to avenge her father by Grrr-ing at the current antagonist.
- Also to exposition at the latest plot objective like a tour guide.
- And to serve as the 'second' protagonist (i.e. a mechanical upgrade to Dark Cloud 1's solo adventure).

Although by the end of the game.
- She's strictly inferior to Max in every way outside of her ranged weapon's homing feature.
- And stops moonlighting as a tour guide the moment somebody else shows up to correct her or Max points out the obvious.
- Plus she's the first to forgive anybody who brings up a sudden sob story regardless of what they might have taken from her.
- And she loses her plot macguffin (and so does Max) because good is dumb and evil will always triumph.
- Not like it matters anyways since Max can and will travel back in time without her or her macguffin (and the plot forces you to do this for a plot coupon at one point).

And while I could go on all night ranting about the plot holes, the establishing and the subsequent breaking/ignoring/bullshitting of the setting's rules, the dumb plot twists, the blatant copying of Zelda series/generic fairy tale elements/tropes, mechanics that favor Max over Monica, the myriad of convenient contrivances, pretty much everything that happens at the end of chapter 5, all of chapter 7, and the nothing that happens at chapter 4 I'm just going to leave it on the note that the game left it on as the story was all just a dream (or was it? :tinfoil:).

The TL:DR is that Level 5 REALLY needs to get bought out and gutted for their technical talent as that's the only worthwhile thing about them. I'd check out Jenne De Arc but I have neither access to a copy or LP of it.
4160  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Dragon Quest VII coming to 3DS (Japan) in Feb. on: November 02, 2012, 01:56:34 AM
Or the DS version of Dragon Quest IV, although that was more of a good port of the mediocre PSX remake. With an over-the-top yet gutted translation.


Now its fixed.

Because seriously, Chapter 6 was unnecessary and diminished Psaro's character arc by giving him a cheap out. Though that's not to say it was a terrible port since it was still worth it just to get the Chapter 5 party off AI control.

Also what the fuck are Bairns and where can I find them? [/rhetorical question]
4161  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: super robot wars original generations 2 for ps3 on: November 02, 2012, 01:40:55 AM
Has SRW finally upgraded their cutscenes to DBZ grade transit chattering or will this just be a one off deal? Find out next time on SRW.

Also, this just in; Ibis still sucks.
4162  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Random and Amazing Pictures, Please! on: November 01, 2012, 02:09:47 PM
There aren't enough 8s between the two of them. They need at least three more to achieve eight 8s.
4163  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Dragon Quest VII coming to 3DS (Japan) in Feb. on: November 01, 2012, 02:06:05 PM
It's been a while since we've heard word on localizations of Dragon Quest games since Joker 2, so I'm somewhat doubtful this and other more recent titles, like Slime Mori Mori 3 and Terry's Wonderland, will see light outside Japan, since Square-Enix has given up on the series and Nintendo has had to step in to translate them. Good news, regardless.

How did DQ 6 do? Well enough for it to pay off for Nintendo?

IX did but I'm not too sure about VI.

Either way though I just hope it doesn't come at the expense of another one of Nintendo's RPGs.
4164  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Random and Amazing Pictures, Please! on: November 01, 2012, 04:14:07 AM
Hmm. The Windows 8 OS-tans don't seem to have memory issues like the previous OS-tans did.
4165  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Dragon Quest VII coming to 3DS (Japan) in Feb. on: October 31, 2012, 10:28:32 PM
Additionally you'll also have remakes that are so remade they change genres almost completely like in the case of Lufia DS: Curse of the Sinistrals.

Also there's the Fire Emblem 3 clause where a remake ceases to be a remake and becomes a sequel if at least 50% of the content is new and does not consist of either DLC or one really long and grindy dungeon that takes as much time to slog through as the rest of the original game combined.
4166  Media / Miscellaneous Games / Re: Deadly Premonition coming to PS3 with Move support on: October 31, 2012, 06:11:22 PM

Double postin' for a release date of March 2013.
4167  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Disney Buys Lucasfilm on: October 31, 2012, 10:25:21 AM
Here is the best analysis of why the Star Wars prequels were so friggin terrible that I've ever seen.  It's seriously long, though.  Like almost as long as the movies.  So make sure you have some time.

Conclusion: there was a lot more wrong with those movies than the actors.  Actually they had some decent actors but gave them shit to work with.

I was referring to the old new trilogy as a whole since even when they did get a more appropriately aged Annie he still wasn't a likeable or sensible character. Moreover a good deal of Episode 1's issues wouldn't have been a problem if Annie had been older, Pandabear had been left on the shelf until Episode 2, and either Obi Wan running solo or Qui Gon being more like an aging statesmen that Obi Wan was escorting for the negotiating purposes (or at the very least Annie and Obi Wan having the relationship Obi Wan and Qui Gon had in that movie; minus the getting ganked by Maul at the end part). Maybe I should've phrased my previous post better.

But yes, I will concur that there is a whole laundry list of reasons as to why the old new trilogy failed. For instance Lucas wasting an entire film flaffin' about with the Chosen One's Midiclorians, Tattoine's Pod Racing, and Naboo's Gungans.
4168  Media / Single-Player RPGs / Re: Dragon Quest VII coming to 3DS (Japan) in Feb. on: October 31, 2012, 02:07:30 AM

We got the JP date and knowledge that the original developers are doing the port/remake.

IF this gets translated, it should at least receive a far better translation than before barring Squeenix completely phoning this in as the original localization was badly rushed and undermanned.
4169  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: Disney Buys Lucasfilm on: October 31, 2012, 02:01:07 AM
Gentlemen please. They're obviously getting J.J. Abrams on this Star Wars reboot.

Joking aside though, I'm far more worried about the actors they're going to cast. After all part of the reason why the previous 'new' trilogy failed was because they had a bunch of teens trying to act as dumb, angsty teens and the last thing we need is Disney to push their teeny pops of the year into these movies for more of the same.
4170  The Rest / General Discussions / Re: It's Bob Ross' birthday, motherfuckers. on: October 30, 2012, 07:27:33 PM
Wasn't that an old urban legend?

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