It amazes me how quickly people are willing to divulge details of their personal lives upon meeting someone new. Is it because people need an ear that badly? Or, they think their personal lives are really all that interesting? It's just something I don't understand, as I'm intensely private. There are people I've been working with for over a decade that probably don't even know my last name.
I'm definitely not that kind of person, that's for sure....hell, I have trouble talking to my therapist about myself, including personal issues, even though that's more or less his job and why I take an hour-long bus ride to see him every other week...
I've never dated, and I still refuse to look for companionship until I resolve my self-confidence issues.
Working up the guts to ask a girl out, learning to deal with possible rejection and taking the plunge and committing to a relationship will do wonders for your self-confidence issues. I don't know the full extent of your problems, but I will tell you that waiting until you've got "everything sorted" is a fairly long, if not endless wait.
Oh, the problems are much more complex than that, and a lot of it has to do more with how I'd handle being in a relationship. I've played witness to some scary relationship-related stuff in the past, on both sides of the coin...I guess I don't want to repeat those mistakes. That'll include making sure I can take care of myself and building a "network of supports" (I don't have any friends at the moment, I should probably fix that...), as well as simply learning to be okay with who I am to some degree, at least enough so I can learn how to cope with my emotions in case something goes wrong. But a lot of that is stuff I've been working on for a long time. Now I can focus my energies in those areas, since now I have the peace of mind I've been looking for.
You'll quickly find that once you have a girlfriend, you wont be playing nearly as much videogames anyway.
I know this isn't directed at me, but I know I'd be kinda happy if I was spending less time on games than I am with a decent girlfriend. Hell, probably sell most of my collection to buy a wedding ring if it seemed like a decent option. Dead serious on that.
I'm glad you got a clean bill for Bi-polar, but I'm sorry for your brother. My friend's pop has the condition, she's cried to me a few times that it can be hard (especially when she was younger). Knowledge is key I guess.
Still, I'm all for self-improvement, and it's actually been quite a great thing to see how 'Fanners here are doing, their steps toward betterment, and just the general ups and downs of life. So even for seeing a psychologist, I think it's a great step forward. Like Maxx was alluding to, I do think a [down to earth] girl can help too; the right companion sometimes makes you want to be a better person (you'll often hear a line like that in a wedding speech, and it's totally true).
Honestly, I don't think my brother has Bi-Polar II at all, especially after his recent speech where I said he's never had a problem figuring out what he wants to do with his days. He's always doing something, he's never "out of energy" - that's not Bi-Polar II, where'd you've have lots of days where you're easily indecisive and out of energy, and it's only on the regular cyclical highs that you're able and willing to do things. I still have inconsistant and indecisive behaviour, but that can be because of many other things. But not having it at all? Not to mention he's very emotionally stable (or at least moreso than the rest of our family) tells me that he probably doesn't know what he's talking about (He's a med student, not a phychiatrist), and he went to a lazy PN who doesn't care if he's handing out anti-phychotics to a sane person...thankfully he's not supposed to take them regularly, only if he's going to some social function.
And yes, I need to break out of my shell. I'm in no rush to get a girlfriend, but I'd love to have real life friends again. I haven't had those since I graduated from high school in 2010...but I think I can fix that. I already meet some nice people at my workplace, and recently I'm meeting people at College, too. Hopefully things work out....anyways, thanks, Dice. I really appreciate the kind words. Same with Maxx, Agent.D, Dincrest, natros...and I can't see below that, so I'll just say "thank you" to the rest of you. ^_^; I also wish you all luck on your own ventures!