So after SIX FUCKING MONTHS
of waiting, new missions have finally been added. I have succeeded in completing these 11 new mission in about two days. That's quality patch work.
I'll try to spoiler tag whatever I think actually qualifies as spoilers, because there's a lot of stuff that's been obvious from the start because it was part of the marketing in the damn trailer. We return to the missions with Lilisette running up asking me if I remember her, all the while in a very...compromising position. She seems to get into these positions quite often.
Here come the fanfics.
Cait Sith reappears, just as useless as he's ever been.
They set up some exposition about what has happened over the last 18 or whatever missions, because as we all know, it's been SIX FUCKING MONTHS
since they last released any missions, so anybody who's actually bothered to do them hasn't remembered any of it because the story isn't good enough to warrant remembering any of it.
Now just pan the camera down a little bit...
Another purple-clad villain appears, because when I think of intimidating and threatening bad guys, I think of purple.
Oh, Lilisette. You're just asking for it, arn't you?
A bunch of demons appear, and the game forces the story branch into us winning. Frankly, it might be better if they killed me now so I don't have to suffer the pain of going through the rest of this expansion.Spoiler
Unfortunately, IT'S A TRAP!
I just had to put this picture here.
Somewhere, a furry is touching himself very inappropriately.Spoiler
Oh, now they're in handcuffs, things sure are getting kinky.
Portia realizes the terrible future that is to come- she must clean a bed where a stinky Elvaan had once slept.
A new character is introduced, wielding the legendary katana Amanomurakumo. Naturally, she is a completely vacuous and uninteresting character because we all know characters based around the most powerful great katana in the game should be uninteresting.
Marching north, Cait Sith uses a power that lets us be able to observe the enemy without any sort of detection, apparently. Of course that makes you wonder why he doesn't just use it to spy on the opposition all the time just to figure out exactly what they're up to. But then, that'd ruin the only attempt at a story this expansion is trying to make.Spoiler
We find Portia and Lilisette. Much to my dismay, they are not making out.
Do I even need
to make fun of this?
The return of the ten billion Cait Siths, because now that the story has bothered to begin focusing on just one or two of them, we're going to go back to confusing the hell out of the player.Spoiler
Portia and Lilisette watch as the towering moist Cavernous Maw known as Atamos erects before them,Spoiler
firm and strong sucking with all its mi-GET YOUR MIND OUTTA THE GUTTA
A big reveal is made- we are the Warriors of the Dawn, Lilisette and I! Awesome, we're using the exact same plot
point we've used in every single expansion up to this one! Good for them.
The maw sucks up the 5 remaining Cait Siths and spits back out the new and improved, in other words identical,SpoilerSpoiler
A fight that's actually a bit interesting.
Clearly, this is what the expansion needed more of in order not to suck.Spoiler
I attempt to stare the villains to death.
Lady Lilith plays with some magic balls. I'm not taking that out of context by the way.SpoilerSpoiler
The Walk of Echoes, where Atomos plans on destroying the future. *Yawn* If you're going to do a time travel
story why don't you try at least doing something that hasn't been done to death? :P
Lilisette sits in Sandy crying only because
oh, she completely fucking failed at everything we set out to do.
Naturally the first reaction any player should give is to be an asshole.
Unfortunately the game does not allow heroes to be jerks, so this chapter of the story ends with a nice shot of the Cathedral.
Meanwhile, the Death Star slowly floats towards Castle-Zvahl.
But being serious, I think the mission quality this patch was pretty good. Something's finally happening in the story, something has actually been put up for stake, and many of the mysteries surrounding Lady Lilith and the Cait Sith have been revealed. There's still a lot more to find out, but at least they've released some information instead of this mysterious "we don't actually know what this story is about" stupidity that we've had up until this patch.
Random Salvage Stuff.
Went on some more Bhaflau Boss runs because I just want to finish the Usukane Set already. But apparently the 25 pieces for Usukane legs is even rarer than some 35 pieces out there.
Hey, I ain't complaining.