*looks to see how old this topic is*
Fuck, I should have posted something here years ago, being that I'm a chef and all. I guess I can fix that.
I've challenged myself to go vegetarian for a month, just to shake up a bit of a cooking rut I've been in lately. But when I get home from a hard day of cooking, the last thing I want to do is hop in my own kitchen for an hour. So on days off I cook basic shit in bulk that I can make a variety of different recipes with. I decided I'd throw together a meatless version of a beloved food item: chili. Here it is.
NOTE: If you follow this recipe, you will have a shit ton of chili. Be prepared.
Three Bean Cruelty-Free Tongue Orgasm Chili o'Flame
1 can black beans, like 16 oz. or some shit
1 can pinto beans, same size
1 can chickpeas (or garbanzo beans, if you're an asshole), same size
1 little can of chipolte peppers in adobo sauce that you can find huddling in the Mexican section of the grocery store
1 green bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
Or three green ones if you're cheap, it's up to you.
1 red onion
1 yellow onion
A good two cups of stock/tomato sauce (you'll see, just keep going)
And..maybe a tablespoon of Worcestershire or soy sauce. Since there's no meat, this will add a bit of umami to the dish. Look it up.
Now then...spices. I've seen grown men get in fights over what sorts of spices you should and shouldn't put in chili. As far as I'm concerned, the only two you really need (besides salt, duh) are chili powder and cayenne pepper. Everything else you add is just a matter of personal taste. This is what seperates the kids from the adults: adding your own flair. Here's what I put, but this certainly isn't set in stone.
1 Tbsp chili powder
2 tsp cayenne pepper (the chipotle peppers are pretty hot, don't go nuts here)
5 cloves garlic
2 tsp dried oregano
1 heaping Tbsp paprika (I fucking love paprika, but you could cut this back to 1.5 tsp easily)
2 tsp cumin
Salt to taste (maybe two teaspoons or so in my case, I'm not super big on salt)
2 tsp cocoa (optional because some idiots are weirded out by cocoa that isn't in dessert form)
Other possibilities are cinnamon, thyme, coriander, cilantro, and so forth. Go nuts. Life is an adventure.
Step One: Dice the hell out of those vegetables.
Step One and a Half: Open those beans, then toss them in a colander and wash them REAL good. You don't want canned bean juice up in your chili, brah.
Step Two: Saute all of those vegetables (except the tomatoes!) in some olive oil over medium heat in the biggest pot you own. There's a lot of them, so this will take some time! Don't be tempted to crank the heat up. It's just like making love: move too fast and you'll potentially ruin the whole thing. When you see the onions start to go translucent, you're good to go.
Step Three: Toss in the tomatoes and chipotle peppers. They will fall apart pretty quickly, and they're supposed to!
Step Four: Add the washed beans! You're getting there!
Step Five: We need some liquid. This would be an excellent use of any non-salted the fuck out of stock you have on hand, about two cups or so, maybe a little more. If you're like I was and don't have any on hand, just grab some bland Prego and throw in there. Not too much, we don't want this shit to taste like a pizza. Let the peppers and onions do most of the talking.
Step Six: Add the spices! But remember to mince/chop/press/whatever your garlic, don't just throw the cloves in whole. I grated mine with a cheese grater over the pot because I don't give a fuck.
Step Seven: Wait at least 30 minutes! This would be a good time to go find a container to put all this in.
Step Eight: Serve hot!
Serve it in a bowl, over tortilla chips, over rice, over noodles, nestled tightly in a corn tortilla; all these things and more, in like fifteen minutes of actual effort.