I can't think of a human created system as complex as a codex of laws, for example, that is totally immune from abuse. Sometimes the things that get headlines have to do with bad judges. Sometimes bad laws. Sometimes somebody finding a loophole. I do agree it is far, FAR from perfect, no question, and sometimes people who shouldn't be screwed end up being screwed, but I guess my main questions remains "What's a better way to do it?"
We actually are in agreement on certain gender issues, certainly more so in some states than others, that are clinging to antiquated gender roles that have been codified into their laws. I'd also argue with equal fervor that there a lot of states and lawmakers that have gone out of their way to ATTEMPT to address it, some with modest success, some with well intentioned ideals that have had disastrous consequences..
But family law in particular is very, very much, a state by state issue, sharing only a very few laws at the federal level. And rape in particular is one of those areas that falls into that category where it is handled very differently depending on the state. I have no idea what the answer is to fix any of it, but I do agree that there are many parts of it that are broken.
EDIT: Also, just because I'm not sure a perfect system is possible doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do better! Totally in agreement with you there. And at any rate I think we can all probably agree with the original point here which is that Akin is probably is a dingus.