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Author Topic: something that is starting to bug me...  (Read 1301 times)
Alisha
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« on: July 26, 2012, 04:53:32 PM »

basically people tend to mistake my pride in the things that make me different as hate of the things that make others normal. i feel like i always have to defend myself.
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Dincrest
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« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2012, 05:12:06 PM »

Because a lot of people feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel good.  There's also the fact that a lot of people only want to see things in black and white.  Just because I am right doesn't automatically mean that you are wrong.  There's middle ground.  If you're not with me, that doesn't automatically mean you're my enemy.  Only a sith deals in absolutes.   

It's like I say to my students, "We all have issues and stuff we're dealing with, but I'm not going to let my issues ruin your day." 

It's like the last line of my band's song "Society's Anomaly" goes: There is nothing wrong with me/ Society's anomaly! 

But, yeah, I get that a lot too because I don't live life like the "normal, average, ordinary" 34 year-old does. 
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Annubis
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« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2012, 05:36:12 PM »

People don't take pride in being normal. Perhaps that's why abnormalities (as in "Deviating from what is normal or usual") doing so ticks them off.
I have a gay friend who never once made his homosexuality stand out any more than I would make my heterosexuality stand out and we've never had any problem with that difference between us.
After all, isn't acceptance attained when nobody gives a damn anymore?
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Desert Walker
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« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2012, 06:08:55 PM »

basically people tend to mistake my pride in the things that make me different as hate of the things that make others normal. i feel like i always have to defend myself.

Keeping in mind that this isn't intended as a criticism, can you cite some examples of what you're talking about?  I think it would help point the way to a more fruitful discussion.
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Yoda
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« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2012, 07:02:32 PM »

I find it best not to get involved in the affairs of others.






Except Starmongoose's affairs. I meddle like Scooby Doo in that dude's bidness
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Ashton
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« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2012, 07:29:23 PM »

If its a common enough problem that its irritating you, maybe you should be thinking about if you're doing anything to provoke this kind of reaction. From my limited interactions with you, everytime something doesn't cater to your specific tastes, or a character that you like largely for objectionable reasons changes their personality as a result of character development, you are offended or you have some sort of androgyny thing going on.

Take, as an example, Mass Effect, I recall you being annoyed that the main character wasn't the type of character design you would associate with yourself. Or your statement of wanting to like Rita from ToV but she 'defrosted' too quickly, thereby implying friendliness as a weakness and she should be violent towards guys for you to relate to her. How about your implications that people who disliked Lightning may be misogynists and not just dislike her for logical reasons?

I'm not saying you hold these opinions, but you sure as hell imply them, whether you want to or not, through what you say/write. After doing these things and then complaining about people 'thinking you just hate normal people' comes of as hypocritical at best and makes you look like you have a persecution complex at worst. Maybe you should spend less time analyzing the actions of others and start to assess whether you are doing something that is fomenting this type of opinion and criticism?
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Starmongoose
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« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2012, 07:37:52 PM »

I find it best not to get involved in the affairs of others.






Except Starmongoose's affairs. I meddle like Scooby Doo in that dude's bidness

Someone has to meddle, god knows my life would go off the rails if I didn't have my meddlers.


I don't actually know what this topic is about, so I'm just gonna skip it. :)
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Annubis
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« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2012, 08:15:45 PM »

I wish I was as good with words as Ashton.
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Dice
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« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2012, 12:01:30 AM »

I wish I was as good with words as Ashton.

I want the good doctor to tell me my story so summed up and eloquently.
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Alisha
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« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2012, 08:09:03 AM »

some examples of what i mean:only making dark skinned and/or female characters in games with character creation. going out of my way to use female characters in a game like fire emblem.
theres nothing wrong with being nice but its rare that a character can be nice and assertive.
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Annubis
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« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2012, 09:51:36 AM »

I'm not quite sure I understand what in there requires you defending yourself.
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Dincrest
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« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2012, 10:18:42 AM »

Personally, I think those examples are kinda shallow.  When looking at the sentiment, I was thinking more like a good friend of mine.  She's a lesbian feminist punk and it grates on her every once in a while when closed-minded fools say things like, "What you don't like guys?!?!" or imply that she's some sadistic, man-hating, female supremacist or something.  She has to laugh, since she much prefers hanging out with us guys.  How could she be a man-hater when she loves hanging out with us and tearing up the pits with us at shows?  

Or I was thinking something even simpler.  Like you would look at my guitar player with his mohawk, tattoos, and patched up clothing and think he's some degenerate loser when he's one of the most responsible guys I know; he graduated culinary school, holds a steady job, pays his bills on time, and is probably one of the most mature and respectful 24 year-olds you'll ever meet.  He's passionate about being a punk, it's in his bones, and he hates it when people tell him that he has to "give that up" to be a responsible adult.  Like I said, he's already a more responsible adult than some folks twice his age.  

Or even just looking at my death metal musician friends and thinking they're scary guys who'd eat your children, but they're easily the nicest, most down-to-earth people you'll ever meet.  (ASIDE: It's the cute boys who sing forlorn love songs who are the biggest jerks.)  But death metal is the style of music that's in their bones.  And even then, people are often surprised that they not only listen to other forms of music, but love it.  Loving metal doesn't mean hating "real" music.  Heck, most metal guys I know listen to a lot of Vivaldi, Panganini, Miles Davis... It also doesn't mean you're a terrible person.  Heck, like I said, some of the warmest, friendliest, and most steadfastly loyal people I know are death metallers.  

But, again, it's the whole idea of people wanting to put you into a neat little box of black and white.  It's the "if you're not with me, you're against me" mentailty.  And that's immature, because there is that grey area.  Just because I'm right doesn't automatically mean you're wrong.  But that's how people hear it.  Just because you're for X doesn't mean you're against Y, ya know?  And that's not even going into the whole rant about thinking a negative based on someone's look. 
« Last Edit: July 27, 2012, 10:25:19 AM by Dincrest » Logged

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Desert Walker
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« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2012, 10:34:31 AM »

I'm not quite sure I understand what in there requires you defending yourself.

Same here, and I'd like to get into some details, otherwise the discussion can't much farther than after school movie type platitudes like 'fuck the crowd, be yourself!'  That's why I asked in the first place.

That said, Ashton and Dincrest have both written quality posts given how little material there is to work off of.  Kudos to them.
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Vanguard
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« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2012, 02:46:21 PM »

I think, if you're making a topic about how different you are, and you cite the arrangement of pixels you prefer as an example. . .

There is no nice way to finish that sentence.
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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2012, 03:49:10 PM »

Quote
Since homosexual males are called "gay," homosexual females should be called "ecstatic."

SINCE HOMOSEXUAL FEMALES ARE CALLED "LESBIANS," HOMOSEXUAL MALES SHOULD BE CALLED "LESBIMANS."
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