On the way to Pravoka, the party gets hopped up on acid due to some poison mushrooms Dice puts in their stew. Parn meets some rabid horses who he thinks needs killing. The party backs him up.
Fuck.
Eusis thinks more training is in order.
However, he only goes after Goblins.
He squeals with delight every time an imp dies.
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, GOBLINS? DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR?
Parn decides it's time to take revenge against the horses.
In unrelated news, Pravoka's newspaper has listed a vicious assault and battery against four celebrities by unknown assailants. The pictures of the victims are as follows:
Anyway, on to the next part!
The party accosts a legitimate businessman and his cohorts, who all happen to have injured the same eye in a skiing accident. The businessman and his friends reluctantly defends themselves against this vicious and unprovoked attack.
Agent D. casts Temper on himself, raising his attack power, because fuck if he's going to let Eusis and Parn AND DICE upstage him.
Agent D. revels in his victory. Parn asks why he doesn't just use magic. Agent D whines about Parn joining Black Mage school with him then ditching to be a Monk midway through. Parn has a good laugh, because his average damage output is still higher.
Do you see what is happening here? Extortion.
The party rides their
stolen gift ship to the open seas.
Eusis's bloodthirst cannot be sated. He stops at Cornelia to murder more Goblins.
The party is attacked on the sea. Fortunately Agent D. is able to remember second grade science class and the effects of electricity in water. This, however, doesn't stop him from jabbing the eyes with his weapon.
FUCK YEAH NEW SWORD.
The party meets a king in an abandoned castle who demands them bring him his crown.
Unfortunately, it's guarded by my friends (and Zoidberg).
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUCK. Back to grinding.
At Eusis' request, the party kills more Goblins. They do this for days.
Oh good. Another melee basd spell and Agent D. is still casting it only on himself.
You really need to stop.
Parn chides the king/Astos for being a Yu Gi Oh villain.
Fuck.
FUCK.
FUCK. Time to regroup.
Okay, yes. We got our asses killed three times but Agent D still thinks that spellcasting is for pussies and still tries to be a warrior.
Unfortunately, Dice has also discovered that, wonder of wonders, Antidotes are sweet. She is excited about this revelation.
So excited that for the whole battle she's doing nothing but drinking antidotes and not casting completely useless spells like CURA or HEAL.
The eye is covered in something sticky. Nevertheless Dice makes a necklace out of it, because it makes her feel pretty.
Dice has a serious drug problem here guys.
Against DIce's complaints, the party trades the eye for a jolt tonic. She doesn't even get a taste of the tonic either, before the party gives it to the elf prince.
"You won't possibly use this irresponsibly, great heroes!"
Too bad the entire party suffers from kleptomania. When they receive the nitro powder, Eusis utters an audible cackle.
They use it to flood a dwarf settlement. Onward to adventure!
This place looks like a refugee camp lost a fight against a landfill.
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