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Author Topic: Recently Viewed Movies Episode 2: The Vampire Bites Back  (Read 442354 times)
Dice
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« Reply #4125 on: March 10, 2015, 03:34:36 AM »

Fifty Shades of Grey - Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. This was a request by my wife, and as I am almost always the one to pick the movies we see, I figured I would humor her for a change.
Yes, it sucks. But, it didn't suck as bad as I thought it would. Not a whole lot happens, really. The highlight, as expected, is Dakotas fine little body, which we get to see a lot of. The rest is pretty darn bad.

Don't worry, I saw it too (with an interested girlfriend).

What I hated is that this HAS potential, but it fails it.  And well, specifically not this adaption of this particular book (which in the most amusing pieces of trivia ever is a series based on a fanfiction of another completely shit trilogy about sparking vampires).

First off, there is no chemistry, be it in the adaptation of this book and how the characters are written or the actors themselves.  The characterizations themselves COULD be interesting, but the film doesn't bother, and I'm truly not interested in finding if the book is better.  I hate that Ana is this absolute pure angel, complete with her V-card and those cutesy bangs and floral frock.  She's "oh so innocent".  (I'm glad they didn't include her verbal ticks from the book, saying both "jeez" and "oh my" over 70 times or that "inner goddess" bullshit the book has).  But I think what's worse is that the idea I got from Ana is that she's this naive schoolgirl thinking she can get a boy to love her if she plays along and plays a shitty and semi-jealous flounder along the way (or worse, the epitome of that "no means yes/yes means no" idea).  She's the bad part of a shy character that doesn't let you get to know her thoughts and cannot communicate with her audience in some way or her dominant partner --- a huge no-no and probably the reason this stupid thing goes on for three books.  For a lucrative concept, she's about as deep as a puddle.  At risk of typing any more, Christian's no better at playing the stereotyped hot-but-tortured rich guy with a dark past (stay tuned for film #2 to find out what's eating him! ZzzZzz).  Their characters are cheap and hollow.

Of course, it fails on smaller, basic levels too.  "Anastasia, you're no good for me.... But I'll see you Monday, and here's some first edition books.  What?!?!  I-it's not like I'm flirting with you or anything!!!!... I don't do that." ಠ_ಠ 

I think a real BDSM-related film would be great and 'spicy' this day and age, I'd argue that's really the only reason the book took off was because it hit some tantalizing nook people wanted to bite into.  A shame the source material is such pulp and drivel that it does little in a film and little for the 'erotic' and generally unique concept going to screen.  An honest effort to create a drama around the idea could be potentially interesting.

Ah well, like you, I feel the same.  Well, Dakota has a kind perma-bored look on her, but yeah her body was nice.  But Christian was definitely easy on the eyes... and his apartment was nice as hell!  And I guess on another plus, the film LOOKS good and SOUNDS good.  Just the rest is about as mindless as you'd think. 
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« Reply #4126 on: March 10, 2015, 08:49:39 AM »

Fifty Shades of Grey - Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. This was a request by my wife, and as I am almost always the one to pick the movies we see, I figured I would humor her for a change.
Yes, it sucks. But, it didn't suck as bad as I thought it would. Not a whole lot happens, really. The highlight, as expected, is Dakotas fine little body, which we get to see a lot of. The rest is pretty darn bad.

Don't worry, I saw it too (with an interested girlfriend).

What I hated is that this HAS potential, but it fails it.  And well, specifically not this adaption of this particular book (which in the most amusing pieces of trivia ever is a series based on a fanfiction of another completely shit trilogy about sparking vampires).

First off, there is no chemistry, be it in the adaptation of this book and how the characters are written or the actors themselves.  The characterizations themselves COULD be interesting, but the film doesn't bother, and I'm truly not interested in finding if the book is better.  I hate that Ana is this absolute pure angel, complete with her V-card and those cutesy bangs and floral frock.  She's "oh so innocent".  (I'm glad they didn't include her verbal ticks from the book, saying both "jeez" and "oh my" over 70 times or that "inner goddess" bullshit the book has).  But I think what's worse is that the idea I got from Ana is that she's this naive schoolgirl thinking she can get a boy to love her if she plays along and plays a shitty and semi-jealous flounder along the way (or worse, the epitome of that "no means yes/yes means no" idea).  She's the bad part of a shy character that doesn't let you get to know her thoughts and cannot communicate with her audience in some way or her dominant partner --- a huge no-no and probably the reason this stupid thing goes on for three books.  For a lucrative concept, she's about as deep as a puddle.  At risk of typing any more, Christian's no better at playing the stereotyped hot-but-tortured rich guy with a dark past (stay tuned for film #2 to find out what's eating him! ZzzZzz).  Their characters are cheap and hollow.

Of course, it fails on smaller, basic levels too.  "Anastasia, you're no good for me.... But I'll see you Monday, and here's some first edition books.  What?!?!  I-it's not like I'm flirting with you or anything!!!!... I don't do that." ಠ_ಠ 

I think a real BDSM-related film would be great and 'spicy' this day and age, I'd argue that's really the only reason the book took off was because it hit some tantalizing nook people wanted to bite into.  A shame the source material is such pulp and drivel that it does little in a film and little for the 'erotic' and generally unique concept going to screen.  An honest effort to create a drama around the idea could be potentially interesting.

Ah well, like you, I feel the same.  Well, Dakota has a kind perma-bored look on her, but yeah her body was nice.  But Christian was definitely easy on the eyes... and his apartment was nice as hell!  And I guess on another plus, the film LOOKS good and SOUNDS good.  Just the rest is about as mindless as you'd think. 

Yeah, my wife really digs Jamie Dornan. She was bummed that he didn't get to use his real (Irish?) accent.
The film WAS shot fairly well, that's true.
I've always liked the dark-haired, pale looking girls, so Anna is right up my alley. Too bad Dakota can't out act a brick.
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« Reply #4127 on: March 10, 2015, 09:52:18 AM »

Pale, dark-haired, and british is the best combination haha.
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« Reply #4128 on: March 10, 2015, 12:34:07 PM »

The Interview - About what one would expect: Stupid and funny (at parts). Not the best work these guys have done, but not terrible. I laughed out loud a handful of times. The whole thing has a pretty weird vibe. I guess that should be expected, given the plot.


I finally saw Big Hero 6.  I liked it.

Same. Has more depth and heart than I was expecting. Good stuff.
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« Reply #4129 on: March 14, 2015, 12:20:25 PM »

Hmmm, I've seen a few recently.

The Drop - with Tom Hardy and James Gandolfini (RIP).
Warrior - also with Tom Hardy but I wanted to see Nick Nolte who plays superbly in it.
The Gambler - not a super great "movie" but I like the atmosphere and play-like nature of it.
Killing them Softly - also very play-like. I enjoyed it a lot... except for "that" scene which was really uncomfortable.
A Most Wanted Man - RIP PSH.
New World - south-Korean gangster saga... I liked it a lot. Has the OldBoy actor in it (not the atrocious American version!). Good thing about foreign films is characters say and do things you'd never see coming out of Hollywood. It's on Netflix - they have a whole bunch of south-Korean movies actually.

I like very character-driven movies. But I also like silly action movies too but something about 90's action movies is gone now....

I'd love to see Interstellar when it comes out on DVD. Nolan hasn't disappointed with a movie yet.

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« Reply #4130 on: March 18, 2015, 09:49:02 AM »

first, in case you haven't seen it yet, here is the the wildly endearing Patrick Jean short "Pixels" from 2010.

https://youtu.be/ou8vRWTSsJo

now here is the trailer to adam sandler's new future flop by the same name.

https://youtu.be/XAHprLW48no

ok, now that the rage screaming has finally subsided.  what do you all think?

What I keep hearing, over and over ad nauseam, is that it's my fault for expecting most movies to be good.  like there is something wrong with me because I find this kind of shut-off-your-brain, lowest common denominator nonsense insulting.  Especially when, given almost ANY semblance of effort and original thought by those in power, it could have been something great.  Is it wrong (or condescending) to expect better??

I feel like the phrase "why can't you just enjoy a popcorn movie? every film can't be a masterpiece" is a lot like asking me to just buy whatever garbage these production companies (film or game) keep shoveling our way. no questions asked. I can't and won't do it. in any medium.  These people need to know what they are doing is terrible, right?
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natros
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« Reply #4131 on: March 18, 2015, 11:30:53 AM »

The Angriest Man in Brooklyn - Kind of a mess of a movie. Seems to lose focus often. I got the feeling more than once that the actors weren't always fully into their roles when filming took place. Williams' (RIP) version of an asshole in this film is that of a whiney, annoying gum-flapping prick. There's an understandable reason for his character's hatred for the world, which is revealed later in the film. I will admit the movie was effective at making me have lots of feels during the last 15 minutes of or so. There are some great cameos from Louis C.K. and James Earl Jones. Overall, I can't recommend it.

The Little Mermaid - Yes, that's right. Watched this (with my wife and son) for the first time in probably 20 years last night. Still remember some scenes vividly, as I watched it several times with my sister way back in the day. It's always nice to see a traditional hand drawn film. It's a form of true artistry, IMO.
Sebastian's songs are easily the best of the film. Catchy as all hell. The voice acting is solid. Especially Sam Wright as Sebastian, Pat Carroll as Ursula, and Buddy Hacket as the.. uh.. doofy bird. Apparently, Jim Carrey auditioned for the role of Prince.. Eric(?), and Michael Richards auditioned for the role of the bird. The former would have been crazy to look back on.
Adapted from HCA's classic story, the plot is clearly a traditional fairy tale, with "modern" elements thrown in, of course. I always had a soft spot for the shit Ariel has to go through just to try to make her dreams come true. She's such a good kid overall, and doesn't deserve it. However, it wouldn't be that interesting of a story if it was all smooth sailing. There are some plot holes and jumps, but this is a 90 minute (or so) kid's film, so one shouldn't expect a truly enriched and detailed saga. The main points of the story are presented effectively enough.
In the end, it's a solid animated film, with a good story for children. No matter how one feels about the movie, it's role in revitalizing Disney's animation studio, and public interest in animation in general, is to be respected.
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« Reply #4132 on: March 18, 2015, 12:17:42 PM »

I watched Monsters University again last night.  It's been a while, but I still really like it and its message that not everybody needs to be the quarterback.  We all have strengths, and we should recognize them and use them instead of trying to be something we're not.
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« Reply #4133 on: March 23, 2015, 07:09:55 AM »

Xanadu (1980), because I CAN.

This was completely hokey, yet also delightful, though the highlight is undoubtly the mass roller skates culminating in Xanadu at the end. It's not quite as crazy as "We Go Together" from Grease, but Olivia Newton John delivers a lovely performance. There is an unfortunate lack of young Travolta, though.
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« Reply #4134 on: March 23, 2015, 03:59:11 PM »

As Above, So Below

Just don't bother. It's borderline terrible, and just a bore to watch. The main problem is the pacing. The movie is 90 minutes long, but the first 60 minutes is spent setting up the backstory for the "scary part." And so the last 30 minutes just seems like a checklist of "X scary thing happens and Y character dies" one after another, then it all culminates in the main character heading back through everything they already made it through, basically like a first person view of someone working their way through an amusement park haunted house. Naturally, the most haunting part of the movie was the one scene that didn't rely on a jumpscare, but it was over quickly and never revisited.

It sucks, because the whole "Modern day Dante's Inferno" was a neat idea.
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« Reply #4135 on: March 23, 2015, 06:47:58 PM »

I recently saw How to Train Your Dragon 2 and it was fantastic.  It is easily one of the best sequels and in some ways surpasses the first film.  I like that the characters have matured and the film itself feels like it's grown up along with its core audience.  The visual style feels a little more mature too.  I like that it has some grit along with the fun.   Great movie, highly recommended. 
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« Reply #4136 on: March 23, 2015, 06:59:51 PM »

Speaking of Dreamworks sequels, have you seen Kung Fu Panda 2?  I recently heard someone recommend it very highly.
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« Reply #4137 on: March 24, 2015, 01:11:27 AM »

From what I've seen, Kung Fu Panda 2 is more on par with the first movie (or a bit less due to sequelitis, but only a bit) rather than an actual improvement over the first like HtTYD2. But that just means that it can't hurt to watch it.


As Above, So Below

Just don't bother. It's borderline terrible, and just a bore to watch. The main problem is the pacing. The movie is 90 minutes long, but the first 60 minutes is spent setting up the backstory for the "scary part." And so the last 30 minutes just seems like a checklist of "X scary thing happens and Y character dies" one after another, then it all culminates in the main character heading back through everything they already made it through, basically like a first person view of someone working their way through an amusement park haunted house. Naturally, the most haunting part of the movie was the one scene that didn't rely on a jumpscare, but it was over quickly and never revisited.

It sucks, because the whole "Modern day Dante's Inferno" was a neat idea.

Welcome to the modern day Horror movie formula where nothing happens (barring the occasional offing of the black guy/a red shirt) until the last 15~20 minutes (30 minutes in Syfy time). The rest of the time is typically wasted on talking heads going over how screwed they are (or how blissfully unaware of how screwed they are) and the set up for the last 20 minutes.
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« Reply #4138 on: March 24, 2015, 10:32:23 AM »

A Bug's Life - Never actually sat down and watched the whole thing through until the other day. I liked this one. Decent story (nice twist on the ol' Ant & Grasshopper fable), and likeable characters. Some characters, and parts of the story definitely could have used some more fleshing out. They had to fit a season's time into a kids' movie, though. So, I guess it's understandable. I like the cast. Cool to hear some famous voices in their younger days. I didn't even realize Kevin Spacey was Hopper until the credits rolled.
You can tell how old the film is by the "crudeness" of the animation. Watching this next to something like How to Train Your Dragon 2 would be interesting. Admittedly, the old style of animation gives this movie a sort of charm. I appreciate the same thing about Hoodwinked.

Speaking of Dreamworks sequels, have you seen Kung Fu Panda 2?  I recently heard someone recommend it very highly.



Not quite as good as the first one (IMO), but it stands on it's own just fine. Worth a watch.
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