Not sure if youâ€™ve heard, but Xbox One is now available. That means we can start playing games like Powerstar Golf. I know, I know. Youâ€™d rather eat the skin of 12-day-old pudding than watch me experience the Golden Age of Pirates, but hear me out on this. Xbox One is actually for both of us. Seriously.
I put together a list of reasons why the console could benefit you and meâ€”together and apart, but mostly together:
Games! Maybe you donâ€™t LOVE games like I do, but thereâ€™s really something for everyone. While Iâ€™m playing Madden NFL 25 , you might like exercise games. And since you were just begging me to dance, Iâ€™m willing to play Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag just with you. Itâ€™s a win-win!
Entertainment for both of us. You love football and I love football. Well, with the Xbox One, we can love both. We can catch your favorite band AND check out my favorite band. Just think of all this togetherness we're going to experience. Itâ€™s gonna be awesome!
It will help us get fit. The console offers Xbox Fitness free with Xbox Live Gold through December 2014* so we can get bikini body I've always dreamed of, while working out to Tracy Anderson.
Play with others. Youâ€™ve been encouraging me to spend less time in the bathroom and it just so happens that Xbox One has the best multiplayer service that filters out jerks. So donâ€™t you worry. If we get an Xbox One, Iâ€™ll be expanding my horizons in no time.
We can talk on Skype with your sweet grandma whom, of course, I love dearly. Heck, we can even talk to them while we watch your favorite TV show.
So what do you say? Letâ€™s be like an awesome movie montageâ€”just me, you, and my our Xbox Oneâ€”together at last.
p.s. Did I mention how beautiful you are? And how I really appreciate that you sing me to sleep?
p.p.s If (or should I say when) we get Xbox One, you have dibs on the first Skype call that we experience together.
p.p.p.s Long story short: I really, really, really want one for the holidaysâ€”yâ€™know... for us.