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Author Topic: Tales of RPGfania! (a round robin)  (Read 7553 times)
Dincrest
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« on: November 16, 2006, 08:37:30 PM »

So one fine day, Dincrest was driving a bus filled with RPGfan's metal heads, blasting the new Manticora ( http://www.manticora.dk ) album "The Black Circus Part 1~ Letters" and headbanging as he was driving.  During a frenzied bout of headbanging to the song "Forever Carousel," his hair got in his face, he diverted his attention to the road and hastily swerved to avoid hitting...
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Hidoshi
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« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2006, 10:09:22 PM »

...Hidoshi, who was totally grooving to some Pendulum on his brand new iPod. Just as "Hold your Colour" came to a close, he opened his eyes and realised he was on a crosswalk. Looking around, he popped the earbuds out and realised what had happened. Just then, shots rang out and he felt one clip him in the arm. As he turned around to look, he saw it was...
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Daggerstrike
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« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2006, 11:21:09 PM »

...Daggs shooting wildly at a chipmunk that was giving him the finger. Yelling crazily Daggs was firing his 9mm at the chipmunk as it tried to scurry up a tree. He realized his clip was empty so he ran at the tree yelling obscenities at the offending chipmunk. As he reached the tree and prepared to throw his gun, he was suddenly tripped by...
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All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you.
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« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2006, 12:21:53 AM »

..QDave's errant guitar cable.

A small Radio-Flyer wagon with a built-in generator trails not far behind. Somehow able to fit inside, powered and playing, is a full Marshall double-stack. The handle of the wagon is chained to Dave's belt, and he walks seemingly without effort despite the imbalance in weight distribution.

In his hands is his brand-new Les Paul Vintage Mahogany series electric guitar, with a natural worn brown woodgrain finish.

After playing a series of ascending scales arranged in a blistering metal solo pattern in the tune of B minor, he pauses momentarily, his eye and attention both briefly in possession of...
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Hidoshi
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« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2006, 01:36:14 AM »

...Hidoshi who is looking down at his iPod, feeling as though it's rather inadequate in light of Dave's monstrous musical prowess. Deciding that he'll try to beat him before joining him, he unsheaths a sword from under his coat and brings it up, ready to fight.

"There can be only one--I mean, drop the guitar sucker!"

Just then, Hidoshi and Dave were cloaked in the massive shadow of a descending giant robot. On its shoulder stood its pilot, known as...
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Dincrest
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« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2006, 08:46:08 AM »

...Dincrest, whose bus filled with RPGfan metalheads just transformed into the giant robot lined with an array of massive 15" woofers looming over everything.  Dincrest stands atop the robot's shoulder wielding a mid-1990s Warwick Fortress MasterMan bass with a transparent French violet finish.  

He slaps a low E and the reverberations shake everything around, including the chipmunk's tree.  Chipmunk's little eardrums burst and he falls down with a resounding "splat!"  

The occupants of the bus have all somehow turned into flying monkeys and flew out the bus-stack's door.  

The scene is utter chaos what with the dead animals, bewildered people, and crazy musicians cranking their amps up to 11.  

And who should appear but...
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GrimReality
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« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2006, 09:33:26 AM »

Grim, who is sitting at a picnic table trying to enjoy a peanut butter and banana sandwich.
"Will you guys shut the hell up with all this "metal" nonsense! I'm trying to listen to some good old fashioned Y's music here."

He then jumps on the robots shoulder(very stylistically I might add) and starts flinging peanut butter sandwiches at the monkeys. Several of the sandwiches end up stuck in the 15" woofers, muffling the melodious metal.
The monkeys all instantly drop to the ground, writhing in pain.
"Aughgghh!" We cannot LIVE with out metal!"
The metal-lovin' monkeys are on the verge of death, when suddenly...
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« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2006, 10:52:27 AM »

...Deg appears, unleashing a Halford-esque falsetto that disintegrates the peanut butter sandwiches, releasing the glorious screech of metal from it's breaded prison, and reviving the monkeys with pure windmilling fury.

The monkeys, full of metallic rage, melted into pools of liquid that ran together, reshaping to form a giant raging...
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Dincrest
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« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2006, 04:54:00 PM »

crabcake!  Yes, the sludge congealed into a gigantic raging crabcake, which Dincrest took a flying leap into since he loves crabcakes!  However, Dincrest's magical leap was cut short by...
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Hidoshi
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« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2006, 06:32:01 PM »

...a giant Chow-Yun Fat, guns akimbo, who delivered a spleen-rupturing kick to Dincrest's torso, sending him flying through six skyscrapers and two McDonalds. The metalhead seemingly vanquished (for now), Hidoshi and Chow-Yun exchanged glances, then went up back-to-back, surrounded on all sides by the other metalheads, including...
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« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2006, 05:34:17 PM »

Deg, who got distracted and wandered. But before he could leave the scene...
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Daggerstrike
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« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2006, 05:38:46 PM »

..Daggs got up off the ground and summoned his Nerdcore army to combat against the rising population of metalheads. With synthesizers blaring, and laptop generated beats bumping, his army of nerds moved forward to do battle against the greasy metalheads. As he pushed his glasses up and began to spout some lyrical attacks he was suddenly sucker punched by...
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All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you.
Hidoshi
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« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2006, 05:56:35 PM »

Chow-Yun Fat, who doesn't like nerds and can punch people from across the room using a secret technique he inherited from the legendary Dhalsim: Elasto-Yoga. Daggs floored, Chow-Yun and Hidoshi broke apart and leapt into the teeming hordes of nerdcore and metal zombies, hacking, slashing, blasting, and fracturing their ranks.

Just then, Hidoshi found himself head-to-head with the level boss. It was none other than...
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Dincrest
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« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2006, 08:41:39 PM »

Paris Hilton!!!!!!!!!  The intrepid adventurers approached the skinny blonde with extreme caution because that anorexic frame houses a heinous and ultimately terrifying evil that would make the Grim Reaper quake in his boots.  

Upon Paris Hilton's opening utterance of "that's hot," ...
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Dave
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« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2006, 11:53:51 PM »

...Dave backflips into the air while still in mid-solo, bringing his left hand to the highest notes on the neck. He floats majestically through the sky, above the giant Metal robot, through the power of Dagg's soundwaves and out of the grip of the teeming hordes of nerdcore and hardcore. The music around seems to all synchronize with the power of his mighty axe as he finally speaks, screaming in a tone so loud it's as though the entire surrounding area was envolped within a wall of amplifiers:

FIRE!!!

With that, a giant column of fire shoots up to Dave's feet, its origin point being Paris Hilton's vagina, launching him thousands of feet higher into the air, where he is greeted by a winged...
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