Author Topic: keep losing jobs....

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Frostillicus

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #15 on: September 17, 2015, 10:04:15 AM »
I used to work with an overly headstrong woman (who also happened to be homosexual, but we don't really care about that in Montreal) and while I won't dare say that the situation is similar, there may be something helpful to you somewhere in this tale.
Or maybe not... I wouldn't know.

Before I start, I'd like to point out that her being a woman didn't really change things because my department has always had more women than men and our superiors were mostly women too.

When she started, people were OK with her because she was good at what she did.
As people were put to work on projects with her though, problems started to arise.
She was always pushing for her way because she believed it was better.
In some cases, she was right, but sometimes you can't change things, even for the better, for other reasons.
Whenever we tried explaining those reasons or why her ideas were wrong, she would dismiss everything and simply be louder.
There was simply no way to have her back down.
Even people that were superior to her in the chain of command or people that had seniority couldn't change her mind or make her understand the reasons.
It happened to me and trough the projects to everyone else.
The end result was that everyone hated working with her and basically hating her.
After a while, some kind of 'office bullying' happened and she started being miserable.
Even while miserable, she still obstinately stayed at the company thinking she was right and everyone else was wrong and we were all against her because she was right.
She had multiple breakdowns but still stayed.
In the end, a re-organization happened (like they always do in corporations) and even her skills at her job, which were very good, could not save her from being cut mostly because even the higher-ups had grown tired of her.

this is similar to me except i was willing to back down but whenever i did i was proven to be right. wich seemed to create this weird aura where i felt like people were afraid of me. perhaps afraid isnt the right word. like they would avoid confrontation with me.

To be fair, dealing with self-righteous narcissists can be difficult for most people.

Rucks

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #16 on: September 17, 2015, 12:58:51 PM »
^ this.  I'm not oblivious enough not to realize I have all of those tendencies.

The hardest thing I've ever had to learn is to keep my goddamn idiot mouth shut (and I still fail miserably FAR too often)

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Alisha

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #17 on: September 17, 2015, 04:53:13 PM »
I used to work with an overly headstrong woman (who also happened to be homosexual, but we don't really care about that in Montreal) and while I won't dare say that the situation is similar, there may be something helpful to you somewhere in this tale.
Or maybe not... I wouldn't know.

Before I start, I'd like to point out that her being a woman didn't really change things because my department has always had more women than men and our superiors were mostly women too.

When she started, people were OK with her because she was good at what she did.
As people were put to work on projects with her though, problems started to arise.
She was always pushing for her way because she believed it was better.
In some cases, she was right, but sometimes you can't change things, even for the better, for other reasons.
Whenever we tried explaining those reasons or why her ideas were wrong, she would dismiss everything and simply be louder.
There was simply no way to have her back down.
Even people that were superior to her in the chain of command or people that had seniority couldn't change her mind or make her understand the reasons.
It happened to me and trough the projects to everyone else.
The end result was that everyone hated working with her and basically hating her.
After a while, some kind of 'office bullying' happened and she started being miserable.
Even while miserable, she still obstinately stayed at the company thinking she was right and everyone else was wrong and we were all against her because she was right.
She had multiple breakdowns but still stayed.
In the end, a re-organization happened (like they always do in corporations) and even her skills at her job, which were very good, could not save her from being cut mostly because even the higher-ups had grown tired of her.

this is similar to me except i was willing to back down but whenever i did i was proven to be right. wich seemed to create this weird aura where i felt like people were afraid of me. perhaps afraid isnt the right word. like they would avoid confrontation with me.

To be fair, dealing with self-righteous narcissists can be difficult for most people.

i considered the possibility that you are right but after reading up on narcissism i concluded that this is not the case. however this led me to the term egocentric wich seems more applicable. i normally have empathy for others when i have time to think, but certain situations can cause that to cease to be the case for a limited amount of time.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2015, 04:56:16 PM by Alisha »

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Andrew

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #18 on: September 17, 2015, 05:54:36 PM »
It's worth remembering that, in most cases (as Tomara also indicated), people are valuable for different reasons. Perhaps you are smarter than others that you're working with (or perhaps you only perceive that to be the case), but either way there are other values that make people useful in their job positions: good work ethic, experience, creativity, team-player, etc.

Everyone has something useful to contribute. It's true that some people are not good at their jobs, but if you are seeing this time and time again then perhaps you need to look at your own attitude and outlook first.



MeshGearFox

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #19 on: September 17, 2015, 07:45:46 PM »
Hijacking this thread, now it's generic work venting thread.

Today was like

<Coworker> Having a working wife is hell!

Mentally I just be like FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.

But I don't saying anything out loud cause he bein' a bitch and bitches ain't worth the time it takes responding.
o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`

Klutz64

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #20 on: September 17, 2015, 08:22:13 PM »
Only time I lost a job due to not bending to authority was when I was working at a wholeslae club and refused to show up to my shift early just because the punch clock was 15 minutes fast.

Tomara

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #21 on: September 18, 2015, 06:59:21 AM »
I once lost an employer because I had written for another magazine under my real name instead of a pen name. Okay, I guess I kinda hurt their pride since the mag was a resurrected version of a licensed magazine they dropped, but still... Oh well. There is only one reason I regret not using a pen name: my regular one would have been perfect for working for a Youri L.

Agent D.

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #22 on: September 18, 2015, 11:05:14 AM »
I lost a job (kind of?) at Papa John's on my first day because I got mad at the owner of the location's wife for opening an hour later than I was asked to be there. I made a real stink about it, and she told me if I don't like it I could leave. I left.

TASTY!

Frostillicus

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #23 on: September 18, 2015, 12:20:41 PM »
I used to work with an overly headstrong woman (who also happened to be homosexual, but we don't really care about that in Montreal) and while I won't dare say that the situation is similar, there may be something helpful to you somewhere in this tale.
Or maybe not... I wouldn't know.

Before I start, I'd like to point out that her being a woman didn't really change things because my department has always had more women than men and our superiors were mostly women too.

When she started, people were OK with her because she was good at what she did.
As people were put to work on projects with her though, problems started to arise.
She was always pushing for her way because she believed it was better.
In some cases, she was right, but sometimes you can't change things, even for the better, for other reasons.
Whenever we tried explaining those reasons or why her ideas were wrong, she would dismiss everything and simply be louder.
There was simply no way to have her back down.
Even people that were superior to her in the chain of command or people that had seniority couldn't change her mind or make her understand the reasons.
It happened to me and trough the projects to everyone else.
The end result was that everyone hated working with her and basically hating her.
After a while, some kind of 'office bullying' happened and she started being miserable.
Even while miserable, she still obstinately stayed at the company thinking she was right and everyone else was wrong and we were all against her because she was right.
She had multiple breakdowns but still stayed.
In the end, a re-organization happened (like they always do in corporations) and even her skills at her job, which were very good, could not save her from being cut mostly because even the higher-ups had grown tired of her.

this is similar to me except i was willing to back down but whenever i did i was proven to be right. wich seemed to create this weird aura where i felt like people were afraid of me. perhaps afraid isnt the right word. like they would avoid confrontation with me.

To be fair, dealing with self-righteous narcissists can be difficult for most people.

i considered the possibility that you are right but after reading up on narcissism i concluded that this is not the case. however this led me to the term egocentric wich seems more applicable. i normally have empathy for others when i have time to think, but certain situations can cause that to cease to be the case for a limited amount of time.

You seem to have an open mind about all of this. I gotta give you that. I think a job where you can be mostly left to your devices may work well for you. That is, unless you need regular human interaction on a daily basis.
For example, I do billing/error checking, and I rarely have to bother with anyone, or have anyone breathing down my neck about anything. I willingly participate in a little teamwork here and there, but never in any superior/coworker bullshit. As an introvert with misanthropic tendencies, I love it. I think something with similar freedoms could possibly suit you well, since other people tend to (apparently) drag you down.

Alisha

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #24 on: September 20, 2015, 07:35:09 PM »
i did some digging and it turns out i was in the wrong place at the wrong time. they needed to cut staff and didnt have the balls to cut the weak employees so they were just waiting for people to comit even the tinyest mistake. so once again weak people cause me harm...

“Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from.”

Dincrest

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2015, 08:09:56 PM »
Even a job you love requires you eating some humble pie at one time or another.  I treated being in a band as a job, and I often had to eat humble pie when a lick, riff, or part I wanted to play in a song was rejected because, even though it was cool, it didn't fit the style or vibe of the song or enhance it in any way.  It was not an affront to my playing or songwriting skills (which I and my bandmates knew I'm competent in), but merely what could best serve the song as a whole.  Kinda like how Mick of Slipknot had some cool solos, with sweep arpeggios and such, that he wanted to incorporate into the first album but the producer rejected them, not because they weren't good pieces of music, but because they did nothing to enhance the songs and sometimes even took away from them.  Mick wasn't happy at first (since he is a very skilled guitarist and wanted to show that off), but the end result was a neck-throttling album that sounds like armageddon, without any needless showboating.  

Johnny Ramone even said something along the lines of, "Being a rock 'n roll guitarist is a great job, but it still sucks like any other job."  Even that "dream job" you have mapped out on paper will still require some concessions, sacrifices, and compromises, in reality, and you have to ask yourself: how willing are you to make them?  I LOVE my current job, but it pays shit money.  I'm not willing to put a price tag on my happiness and sanity and would rather have this than a big paycheck job that completely crushes my soul and the very fabric of my being, because, again, I cannot and will not put a price tag on my psychological health.  

Humility is always an important lesson to learn, but nobody understands what it truly means.  It doesn't mean being weak or spineless.  A truly humble person gives of themselves to others, but NEVER to the point that it hurts or poisons themselves.  That's just weakness.  How can a doctor heal the sick when s/he is sick him/herself?  Physician heal thyself.   I have some of the best memories from playing in touring bands, but I gave that up because I was giving so much of myself to my bandmates, to the fans, to everyone involved that my own health (both physical and psychological) was deteriorating as were the interpersonal relationships that mattered most to me- with my family and my best friends.  I gave up "dat life" and I'm 1,000,000% happier and healthier for it.  

EDIT: I relate to "wrong place, wrong time."  That's why I was let go from the school district I used to work for, but despite that punch in the face and an unexpected roadblock I simply did not need in my life I landed my current job in a much better school district and my department absolutely loves having me as part of the team. 
« Last Edit: September 20, 2015, 08:36:01 PM by Dincrest »
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Annubis

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #26 on: September 20, 2015, 08:20:57 PM »
i did some digging and it turns out i was in the wrong place at the wrong time. they needed to cut staff and didnt have the balls to cut the weak employees so they were just waiting for people to comit even the tinyest mistake. so once again weak people cause me harm...

Oh yeah. I know that feel.
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Towns Car Marty

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #27 on: September 21, 2015, 04:49:21 PM »
Alisha, have you thought about taking them to employment tribunal for wrongful dismissal?

Daggerstrike

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #28 on: September 21, 2015, 05:10:10 PM »
Alisha, have you thought about taking them to employment tribunal for wrongful dismissal?

Oh you crazy UK folks and your "laws that aren't for big business".


So on topic-To me...the issue is that you seem to have a "Me vs them" mentality. You don't need to bend over and take it. You need to do your job and work in the system that is established, or work to change the system by talking to senior management if it's possible. If you can't do either of those then the job isn't for you and you need to realize it. It's like a relationship-not all of them fit for everyone.
All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you.

MeshGearFox

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Re: keep losing jobs....
« Reply #29 on: September 21, 2015, 10:19:43 PM »
(At least we still have wozniak)



















« Last Edit: September 22, 2015, 09:08:22 PM by MeshGearFox »
o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`