Author Topic: Valkyria: Azure Revolution

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Kevadu

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #120 on: July 10, 2017, 11:11:10 AM »

But if it didn't have a weak point then what would you attack for massive damage?
Well they could at least try to hide the weak point? Or be intelligent regarding the design of how freaking obvious the weak point is?

...I don't think you got my reference.

I can't be the only one who thinks this thing looks a little bit like a giant enemy crab, can I?  Or is that meme just too old now...

Ranadiel

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #121 on: July 10, 2017, 07:15:34 PM »
Literal line from cutscene I am currently watching "The magic of love! The power of life!"  Thinking about it, I'll edit in spoiler blocks. I was so shocked by the stupidity of watching it happened I forgot proper etiquette...even If I'm 90% certain no one here is going to be stupid enough to play this game after everything I have written.

Spoiler: show
And the guy with a shield just took a blow to save the MC from his own stupidity (as I was typing this post)...with his body instead of his shield. There were problems with the death scene in VC...but dear god that was just stupid.  It wasn't even that he just missed the block, he had his arms spread with his sword not attempting to block and the shield pointed away from the attack that was slow enough for him to run from ten feet behind the MC to in front of him.


That bit of stupidty just overwhelmed my previous complaint about the scene where the squad was shocked that the character who can counter the Valkyria's death song, was standing in front of the Valkryia to counter her song. And then told her to run away. Instead she proceeded to let everyone on the battlefield die for a min or two so she could have a philosophical debate with the Valkyria while the death song magic was ongoing....which raises the question of how dong magic works while you are talking, but yeah, that scene was bad.

I was not expecting that rant to go that long.

...I don't think you got my reference.

I can't be the only one who thinks this thing looks a little bit like a giant enemy crab, can I?  Or is that meme just too old now...
There was a reference in there? I did not see it. I'm going with meme is too old, but I feel like I should still recognize it unless it was obscure. And it does not look like a giant crab. The scorpion mechs do, but not the dinosaur mech.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2017, 07:26:11 PM by Ranadiel »

Kevadu

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #122 on: July 10, 2017, 07:41:57 PM »
There was a reference in there? I did not see it. I'm going with meme is too old, but I feel like I should still recognize it unless it was obscure. And it does not look like a giant crab. The scorpion mechs do, but not the dinosaur mech.

OK, for your edification: giant enemy crab.

Seriously, though, this was not obscure...

Mickeymac92

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #123 on: July 10, 2017, 09:31:44 PM »
There was a reference in there? I did not see it. I'm going with meme is too old, but I feel like I should still recognize it unless it was obscure. And it does not look like a giant crab. The scorpion mechs do, but not the dinosaur mech.

OK, for your edification: giant enemy crab.

Seriously, though, this was not obscure...

I hadn't seen that particular video until now...so thank you for that. That made my day. Those Japanese fishermen must've been pretty tough to deal with all those giant crabs. =P

I always thought that meme was related to the "shoot the core" thing from Gradius, but I guess someone talking as if attacking a weakpoint is important info, not long after emphasizing the game's historical accuracy, can be even more ironically entertaining.

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Ranadiel

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #124 on: July 12, 2017, 08:37:18 PM »
So I've been wondering when I was next going to post here. I was thinking about posting about how mercurial the country's opinion on the war is (we're winning->oh no a battle where we lost we are all doomed->yay we raised the enemy's old capitol that had no strategic value, those anti-war activists are idiots; all of which occurred in the course of a chapter). But no I'm in the briefing for my next story mission and well this, "Also note that a flying tank has been spotted in Avalune's airspace." I realize that what is wrong with that sentence is possibly not clear, so I'll just point it out. FLYING TANK. I...I'm actually looking forward to seeing what the hell this tank is. I might need to figure out how to share screenshots for this one. Although I guess I will run the mission and write up what this turns out to be before I post...

OH MY GOD. It is a FUCKING FLYING WHALE TANK! I am literally crying and I am not sure if it is from pain or how hilarious it is. Please send help.

OK, for your edification: giant enemy crab.

Seriously, though, this was not obscure...
I do not think I ever saw that, and I have been on the Internet pretty consistently for two decades or so.

Aurian

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #125 on: July 12, 2017, 11:42:50 PM »


...which raises the question of how dong magic works while you are talking, but yeah, that scene was bad.

So... how does Dong magic work? 🤔

Kevadu

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #126 on: July 13, 2017, 04:44:56 AM »
OK, for your edification: giant enemy crab.

Seriously, though, this was not obscure...
I do not think I ever saw that, and I have been on the Internet pretty consistently for two decades or so.

The video I linked is just an example.  Maybe I should have just linked the Know Your Meme page.  There's a lot of shit out there...

Aeolus

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #127 on: July 13, 2017, 08:04:53 AM »
OK, for your edification: giant enemy crab.

Seriously, though, this was not obscure...
I do not think I ever saw that, and I have been on the Internet pretty consistently for two decades or so.

The video I linked is just an example.  Maybe I should have just linked the Know Your Meme page.  There's a lot of shit out there...

And that's just the Giant Enemy Crabs one. The E3s of years past were an unintentional comedy goldmine. With statements like Konami's early Xbox 360 and Dynasty Warriors knockoff 99 Nights being described as being able to render "One Million Toops!" (this is not a typo), or that four panel meme of four guys sitting completely uninterested to whatever's displayed in the first panel and the same four guys being completely fucking pumped for the contents of the third panel (that one originally came from Nintendo's leadup and initial reveal of Twilight Princess). And any time somebody got up on stage to demo tech like the Kinect or the Wiimote were often a source of unintentionally hilarious GIFs as well.

And hell, the pre-E3 GIFs of years past have been pretty hilarious as well.
In my vision, I see that one of us is going to KO the other.

Ranadiel

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #128 on: July 13, 2017, 07:00:18 PM »
I feel like they flying whale tank is not getting enough reaction from all of you. So here is an image of the stupidity. And no there are no engines beyond the four on the flippers.




So... how does Dong magic work? 🤔
>.> Shush you, my stupid typos are not the important part here.


The video I linked is just an example.  Maybe I should have just linked the Know Your Meme page.  There's a lot of shit out there...
Still not ringing any bells. :p

Kevadu

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #129 on: July 13, 2017, 08:26:05 PM »
I feel like they flying whale tank is not getting enough reaction from all of you. So here is an image of the stupidity. And no there are no engines beyond the four on the flippers.



That there is clearly an airship...no, a spaceship!


Quote

The video I linked is just an example.  Maybe I should have just linked the Know Your Meme page.  There's a lot of shit out there...
Still not ringing any bells. :p

OK, I give up...but you at least know about Sony's disastrous 2006 E3 presentation, right?  Because if not then I don't believe you that you were on the internet in 2006 ;)

Aeolus

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #130 on: July 14, 2017, 01:05:51 AM »
I feel like they flying whale tank is not getting enough reaction from all of you. So here is an image of the stupidity. And no there are no engines beyond the four on the flippers.



That there is clearly an airship...no, a spaceship!


Your image isn't loading for me.

Although I feel that it has something to do with my browser as it has gotten very picky (or infected) as of late.
In my vision, I see that one of us is going to KO the other.

ironmage

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #131 on: July 14, 2017, 07:18:13 PM »
I feel like they flying whale tank is not getting enough reaction from all of you. So here is an image of the stupidity. And no there are no engines beyond the four on the flippers.

Impossibly imbalanced airplane, or grossly overweight blimp, the only way that thing could fly is in a world with reduced gravity. (Anti-gravity magic notwithstanding).

Speaking of blimps, reduced gravity might also account for the physics-defying breasts on "Red Selveria" (whatever her name is).  The aesthetic choices in this game are bizarre, to say the least.

Are there any other signs of reduced gravity?  Absurdly oversized weapons, extraordinary acrobatics, and such?

Ranadiel

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #132 on: July 14, 2017, 09:33:55 PM »
Ugh these territory control side missions are really sapping my will to keep going. I spent three or four chapters trying to get a territory back after I lost it. Finally got it back giving me control of all the territories I can currently control. Five missions or so later, I'm put into a situation where I had to choose to lose either it or another territory. And so I am going to have to pray to the RNG gods to give me an opportunity to reclaim it...again. I'm probably only 5 or 6 story maps away from beating the story. I don't know if I'll platinum it or not. On one hand I don't really have anything else to play at the moment...on the other fuck this game. >.>


Impossibly imbalanced airplane, or grossly overweight blimp, the only way that thing could fly is in a world with reduced gravity. (Anti-gravity magic notwithstanding).

Speaking of blimps, reduced gravity might also account for the physics-defying breasts on "Red Selveria" (whatever her name is).  The aesthetic choices in this game are bizarre, to say the least.

Are there any other signs of reduced gravity?  Absurdly oversized weapons, extraordinary acrobatics, and such?
It is not a blimp because if you look closely you'll notice that there are tons of guns sticking out of its sides which are probably supposed to be soldiers (and there are no flotation means in the back). I mean I'm pretty sure I remember it being too small for that many soldiers, but it seems to be implied to be a troop carrier? I mean its primary means of attack was to get really close to the ground and drop off soldiers, and then shoot at you with its side guns while it is driving by...yes it is an aircraft that can only attack when it is close to the ground because let it never be said that the fantasy Ruskies are brilliant vehicle designers.

I'm not sure it could fly with lowered gravity, because I am pretty sure that the force to keep it floating would rip its fins off unless we are talking moon gravity.

However, for more instances of potential lowered gravity, the main character basically wields a buster sword sized sword. The princess wears a dress that stays poofy no matter what (could be metal supports, but low gravity could be an explantion). I guess the scorpion mech probably is physically impossible under normal gravity, so I guess that counts as well?

The Valkyria (I think her name is Brunhilda, but it isn't like anyone ever uses it) also flies for no reason. I mean she just stands there in the sky for no reason before coming down to fight...considering how fan servicy she is, I'm half surprised that she isn't wearing a dress so they could get some upskirts during those scenes. Although that would probably require more effort than they put into the game. Speaking of Brunhilda, as I recall her boobs are just constantly standing at attention (because they lost the file with Selveria's jiggle physics?). So I guess that also counts as evidence of weird gravity?

No extraordinary acrobatics as I recall. That would require them to actually have fight choreography, which they really don't.

Ranadiel

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #133 on: July 15, 2017, 08:41:52 PM »
Ugh I finally beat the game...20+ min ago and as I've been watching the ending scenes while typing up a final thoughts on the game...but I accidently hit esc which apparently deletes all the text you type and can't be undone? Seems like a design flaw.  Oh well let's sum up what I was typing before.

-3rd unique mech was a two headed snake that was too thin for a person to get inside. It is stupider than the flying whale tank, but lacks the impact.

-4th unique mech was a centaur...which was not that bad looking. Just bugs me that they called it a tank.

-I've mentioned this before, but the framing device added nothing to the game. They just used it as a way to get something similar t the framing device of VC without understanding how to use it effectively. Which honestly probably describes a lot of the game. They copied random elements from VC without really understanding why the elements had worked in VC so they end up not working here due to poor use.

And half an hour later I am on the credits (and hopefully done with the cut scenes). I suppose wrapping up this post is not a bad idea. This game is a dumpster fire. I cannot think of a thing that the game did good. I know I have seen people comment on the OST being good, but I personally didn't even notice it during the game. The characters are paper thin. The plot is stupid and leaves elements unexplained (e.g., they make a reference to Brunhilda's backstory but there is never any follow up, may have been intended to be explored in future games in the series....which probably will never happen). Gameplay is unimpressive and incredibly repetitive. Animations and character models are amazingly bad. I mean I am fine with relatively low polygon models (I love Trails of Cold Steel for example), but they used what they had very poorly and it just looks horrible as a result. Voice Acting was...tolerable? I don't recall any cringe moments, but it didn't really wow me either.

I suppose in summation, I would recommend not playing this game (I know this is a shock after how much praise I have heaped upon it). I got enjoyment out of it for how bad it was, but I can not recommend going through that gameplay just for the stupid cut scenes.

Isjaki

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Re: Valkyria: Azure Revolution
« Reply #134 on: July 15, 2017, 08:49:50 PM »
I suppose in summation, I would recommend not playing this game (I know this is a shock after how much praise I have heaped upon it). I got enjoyment out of it for how bad it was, but I can not recommend going through that gameplay just for the stupid cut scenes.

Thank you for reassuring my decision to never play this game. After all the poor critic reviews and reactions from other gamers, I decided that I don't want anything to do with this game. Which is a shame due to me really enjoying Valkyria Chronicles and somewhat enjoying Valkyria Chronicles 2.