Author Topic: Frosty plays Final Fantasy XIII blind [INDEFINITE HIATUS]

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Aeolus

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Re: Frosty plays Final Fantasy XIII blind (aka FF XIII club)
« Reply #30 on: June 27, 2017, 10:20:47 PM »
One thing about FF13 is that for a game almost 10 years old
Quote
10 years old

WHAT THE FRICKETY FRACK


@Frostillicus - Anyone ever tell you what an entertaining writer you are?  That was a joy to read.

It was announced 11 years ago. The game itself came out only 7 years ago. Granted, it left the forefront of Squeenix's development about a year or two ago.

I mistakenly thought it came out in 2008.

It took until 2009 for the developers to realize that they needed to make a game out of this when they needed to include a demo for the rerelease+ of Advent Children.

It was announced during 2006's E3 (along with the games that became Type-0 and FFXV) and it was being worked on before even that.

And we're still waiting on KH3.
In my vision, I see that one of us is going to KO the other.

Frostillicus

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Re: Frosty plays Final Fantasy XIII blind (aka FF XIII club)
« Reply #31 on: July 01, 2017, 02:22:43 PM »
***UPDATE***


I get the feeling that Lightning just may be a little perturbed...


Hello again. Let's jump right in, shall we?

As we return to the game, we join Grrr and Timid the Soft. Turns out this place is a bit of a junkyard. Scrap everywhere. After "exploring" a bit, a cutscene shows Lightning and Hope appearing to reach an impasse. After Hope indirectly accuses Lightning of taking part in the Purge, Lightning takes a moment to explain to Hope how proud she is of her position in life.


As she said this, I could almost hear the self-satisfaction dripping onto the floor.

Hope asks Lightning why she was on the train if she is not PSICOM. We flash back in time a little to the Bodhum Train station, where "Purge deportees" are being loaded onto a train. A few bold ones make a run for it, and soldiers appear to shoot them down. Of course soldiers who can actually hit targets are put on deportee duty. Not active patrol. Makes perfect sense. Anyway, Lightning is so intent on getting on the train to save Serah, she oh-so-confidently quits her Guardian Corps position right then and there, and gets in line. We see here how Lightning and Sazh meet, as Sazh quietly approaches Lightning from behind and whispers to her about why she is there. Not creepy at all. Sazh can tell something juicy is going to happen, so he follows Lightning onto the train.

As we re-join the present, we are shown just how popped Lightning's collar is. Then, without warning, she hops up the side of a steep cliff like it's a game of vertical hopscotch, leaving Hope on his own. At this point, I'm half expecting a Square rep to call me and ask me if I think Lightning is cool yet.
We then join Vanille and Sazh, who for some reason gains a Synergist role while not-watching Vanille bend over as she climbs some large steps. The game then takes a moment to explain that sometimes I may find enemies fighting each other, and that I can join in the battle. Apparently, those sometimes are right away. In subsequent fights, the enemies pretty much ignore me as I pummel them with my weak-ass Sazh and Vanille attacks. It's like the game knew there would have to be outside circumstances for these two to be able to claim victory.
The duo eventually find Hope, sitting alone and feeling sorry for himself. I can almost taste the irony in that last sentence. Vanille makes straight up porn moans to signify that she is out of breath as they approach. Somehow, that seems about right. Hope whines and complains about how pointless it all is, blah blah blah. For fuck's sake, cheer up, emo kid. Now the irony is annoying.
We encounter another flash back ["dydylydly-dyldldyly-dlildidiyy" (my lame attempt at a Wayne's World flashback)] to Hope watching the fireworks at the Bodhum festival dealie. We see some of his camaraderie with his super tough inept soldier momma. She mentions wishing Hope's dad could be there, and Hope's all like "Naw! Screw that, man!". In the present, Hope reveals to Vanille and Sazh how he feels Snow is responsible for his mother's practically-suicide. Vanille mentions his father again, and he does one of these:


He theatrically spun around to not-face the camera for this one.

Sazh then quietly quotes 1991 Master Splinter by saying that all fathers care for their sons.

Now that Hope has his crutch Vanille back, the trio moves on. Sazh so very conveniently finds a platform-moving device, and they are now able to follow The Fonz's path. Nice to have 3 people in battle again. Pardigms actually mean something again. The crew eventually comes to a wrecked Pulse warship, and they reflect on how it could have gotten there. After several more battles, I learn it's not so much the characters that suck, but my command of them. Things are getting better as we go.
Another cutscene has Lightning jumping down from the extremely high ledge she put herself on. She scoffs at the greetings she receives. God, she is so cool. Anybody else notice how cool she is? She re-joins the battle party, making me glad someone with balls... er, guts is back in. I keep finding myself wondering what the heck Sazh did for a living that gives him the knowledge to run every damn machine we come across... It might have been mentioned before, but if it was, I wasn't paying attention.
Anyway, after some more gauntlet running and battling, the group comes to a big pile of junk sitting in what looks like another boss room. Hiding behind said junk (which I thought was going to turn into the boss itself) is a "Pulse armament", known (to someone I guess) as Dreadnought.


Which amazingly looks nothing at all like I've ever seen in a video game.

Damn easy fight, but after it shoots a giant hole in the floor (through which of course our friends fall), I assume that was supposed to be the case. The giant robot jumps down and... Round 2... FIGHT!! The battle is again won (albeit a little less easily), and victory is apparently mine. Afterwards, we learn about equipment upgrades with the newly acquired Omnikit. The crew advances through a long corridor, and we get to the point where I am now going to save it. After messing with the upgrade system a bit, of course.


  • The thing about the Crystarium system is that I keep forgetting to use it. I guess I got used to the nagging reminders in the Tales games I've played recently. There are times when I gain over 500 points before I remember to use them.
  • I've definitley become accustomed to using auto-battle and managing paradigm switching. Things flow much more smoothly that way.
  • The item/equipment upgrade system seems tedious and unengaging at first. Granted, I've just now started working with it.

Thanks for reading!




@Frostillicus - Anyone ever tell you what an entertaining writer you are?  That was a joy to read.

Kind of you to say, buddy. Thank you.



Klutz64

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Re: Frosty plays Final Fantasy XIII blind (aka FF XIII club)
« Reply #32 on: July 01, 2017, 04:33:06 PM »
I think the first time I played the game I only ever remembered to use the Crystarium when battles were suddenly becoming really difficult.

Arvis

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Re: Frosty plays Final Fantasy XIII blind (aka FF XIII club)
« Reply #33 on: July 03, 2017, 10:32:48 AM »
Quote
Sazh then quietly quotes 1991 Master Splinter by saying that all fathers care for their sons.

ROFL yes!! 

Glad you're enjoying making Paradigms, too.  Wait til you actually get to control party building.
"You know, you're pretty cool too, Arvis.  You like good music, good games, and good tennis." - Divingfalcons

Rook

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Re: Frosty plays Final Fantasy XIII blind (aka FF XIII club)
« Reply #34 on: July 07, 2017, 08:20:49 AM »

The duo eventually find Hope, sitting alone and feeling sorry for himself. I can almost taste the irony in that last sentence.


Dincrest

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Re: Frosty plays Final Fantasy XIII blind (aka FF XIII club)
« Reply #35 on: July 08, 2017, 07:52:43 AM »
+1 on Frosty's read being incredibly amusing. 

I'm still trying to figure out if he got to my favorite scene I spoilered earlier.  It's been years since I played the game and I forgot much of what happened and in what order.  (Okay part of that may be that I played the game during a time when I was really busy with my old punk band so I was having more real-life adventures... so reading Frosty's log is like waking up with a hangover and everyone's telling you about all the wild and crazy stuff that happened... and you don't remember a thing.)
"I think I'm losing it.  I'm pulling out my hair trying to figure out what couch defines me as a person.  This is freaking madness.  This is hopeless.  This... my perfect little habitat here, and I still don't even know who I am."  - from Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom by Burnt By The Sun