Recently Viewed Movies Episode 2: The Vampire Bites Back

[Aeolus]

Er... Abe Lincoln's not out yet.  How do you know it's bad?

Abe Lincoln + Vampires. At best it's going to be Z-grade and utterly hilarious in retrospect. At worst it's going to make the Hulk movies look like faithful and entertaining comic book conversions.

[Tooker]

Well, the book was pretty good, so I'm not giving up hope yet.  (It's worth noting that in the book, his personal vampire-slaying activities drop off sharply once he really enters politics.)

[Ashtrot]

I just saw Prometheus. Decent movie, but some God damn stupid characters in that movie. Plus the scientific/medical aspects make me laugh, SPOILERS INCOMING:

1. Why didn't they detect the Silicon storm as they were landing on the planet? If it was close enough that it would suddenly arrive just as the scientists were exploring the area, it stands to reason that they could detect it while entering the atmosphere, or even just looking at the planet surface from outer space.

2. The pathogen itself makes no scientific sense. It kills males but impregnates females? Assuming that it's blood borne and its contagiousness, it's either a virus or a very potent parasite. Parasites do not have the ability to modify DNA (which is what happened to the male lead, otherwise the impregnation would have been impossible), and even stretching belief that it's a virus that did this, no virus would 'merely' modify a male DNA just to wait for a female to be impregnated and birth a monster; that's not effective as a bioweapon - it would have to infect the female with the same symptoms instead of growing some lifeform inside her.

3. Even accepting the postulate that the pathogen (through biological programming, or maybe that it's just some miracle nanomachine) affects males and females differently, it shouldn't have impregnated the female lead ANYWAY. When the lifeform was extracted, there was clearly an umbilical cord attached to the uterus (more on that later). It was made clear from dialogue in the movie that the female lead was barren, meaning no eggs, or at least her eggs are non-viable. Having an umbilicus means that the infected sperm actually fertilized an egg, which is impossible for the character.

4. The surgical scene was also absurd. If the table was only configured for men, it would recognize ALL FEMALE BODY PARTS in the abdomen to be 'foreign objects.' Obviously, the character did not have a hysterectomy. How was the surgical pod able to know what to cut? In addition, the laser scalpel cut through the superficial tissues, then the clamp came down to remove the 'fetus' as it were. That's not how it works - it'd have to cut into the uterus in order to remove the fetus. Assuming that that's what the laser did, how did the computer know how deep to cut, or even where to cut? Even assuming past all this, the post procedure only stapled the superficial wound shut after the female character snapped off the umbilical cord without pulling out the placenta or even suturing up the uterus. Not good. She's going to bleed out very soo-oh hey, she's on her feet. Would you look at that.

[Yoda]

I can't wait to see it and read that ^

[Esper_Crusader]

I watched The Grey over the weekend. I though it was terrible. The completely innacurate behavior of the wolves(monsters) killed any enjoyment i might have had.  Too bad since i'm a fan of Neeson.

[GrimReality]

The Last of the Mohicans - Another movie to cross off the "great movies I can't believe I haven't seen yet" list.
Oddly enough, I really didn't know what this was about, outside of the title. I didn't know that it was partially a war movie. It's really well done, though, with a feeling of authenticity throughout. Daniel Day Lewis, of course, is fantastic as the white living amongst the Mohicans. What floored me was how amazingly beautiful Madeline Stowe was in this. She never did much for me before, but in this, she is stunning. Oh, and is a decent actor, too.
The movie is shot beautifully, and keeps the camera focused so you always know what's going on. Certain modern directors could learn a thing or two.
I did think it got a little jumbled there in the end, with certain things happening that just didn't seem possible. I almost thought I was watching a superhero movie for a minute there. Hence the 1/2 star knock down.
Overall, a great movie that I'm glad I finally saw.

[Yoda]

The only part of that I have seen is the awesome seen at the end.

Great music.

[Tooker]

The Last of the Mohicans - Another movie to cross off the "great movies I can't believe I haven't seen yet" list...
Oddly enough, I really didn't know what this was about, outside of the title.

I knew what it was about. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaAC3OppG94

[Lard]

I just saw Prometheus. Decent movie, but some God damn stupid characters in that movie. Plus the scientific/medical aspects make me laugh, SPOILERS INCOMING:

1. Why didn't they detect the Silicon storm as they were landing on the planet? If it was close enough that it would suddenly arrive just as the scientists were exploring the area, it stands to reason that they could detect it while entering the atmosphere, or even just looking at the planet surface from outer space.

2. The pathogen itself makes no scientific sense. It kills males but impregnates females? Assuming that it's blood borne and its contagiousness, it's either a virus or a very potent parasite. Parasites do not have the ability to modify DNA (which is what happened to the male lead, otherwise the impregnation would have been impossible), and even stretching belief that it's a virus that did this, no virus would 'merely' modify a male DNA just to wait for a female to be impregnated and birth a monster; that's not effective as a bioweapon - it would have to infect the female with the same symptoms instead of growing some lifeform inside her.

3. Even accepting the postulate that the pathogen (through biological programming, or maybe that it's just some miracle nanomachine) affects males and females differently, it shouldn't have impregnated the female lead ANYWAY. When the lifeform was extracted, there was clearly an umbilical cord attached to the uterus (more on that later). It was made clear from dialogue in the movie that the female lead was barren, meaning no eggs, or at least her eggs are non-viable. Having an umbilicus means that the infected sperm actually fertilized an egg, which is impossible for the character.

4. The surgical scene was also absurd. If the table was only configured for men, it would recognize ALL FEMALE BODY PARTS in the abdomen to be 'foreign objects.' Obviously, the character did not have a hysterectomy. How was the surgical pod able to know what to cut? In addition, the laser scalpel cut through the superficial tissues, then the clamp came down to remove the 'fetus' as it were. That's not how it works - it'd have to cut into the uterus in order to remove the fetus. Assuming that that's what the laser did, how did the computer know how deep to cut, or even where to cut? Even assuming past all this, the post procedure only stapled the superficial wound shut after the female character snapped off the umbilical cord without pulling out the placenta or even suturing up the uterus. Not good. She's going to bleed out very soo-oh hey, she's on her feet. Would you look at that.

These are all legitimate complaints about this movie.

I saw it tonight and have mixed feelings about the plot.

I did like the scale of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x1YuvUQFJ0&feature=plcp

Do not watch this unless you've seen the movie.

[Dice]

[stuff]

So... Ashton, if I got a medical issue would you give some free advice?? :O  (an alien [no pun intended] concept to American-Doctor but common for Canadian citizen [eh]).

[Aeolus]

I just saw Prometheus. Decent movie, but some God damn stupid characters in that movie. Plus the scientific/medical aspects make me laugh, SPOILERS INCOMING:

1. Why didn't they detect the Silicon storm as they were landing on the planet? If it was close enough that it would suddenly arrive just as the scientists were exploring the area, it stands to reason that they could detect it while entering the atmosphere, or even just looking at the planet surface from outer space.

2. The pathogen itself makes no scientific sense. It kills males but impregnates females? Assuming that it's blood borne and its contagiousness, it's either a virus or a very potent parasite. Parasites do not have the ability to modify DNA (which is what happened to the male lead, otherwise the impregnation would have been impossible), and even stretching belief that it's a virus that did this, no virus would 'merely' modify a male DNA just to wait for a female to be impregnated and birth a monster; that's not effective as a bioweapon - it would have to infect the female with the same symptoms instead of growing some lifeform inside her.

3. Even accepting the postulate that the pathogen (through biological programming, or maybe that it's just some miracle nanomachine) affects males and females differently, it shouldn't have impregnated the female lead ANYWAY. When the lifeform was extracted, there was clearly an umbilical cord attached to the uterus (more on that later). It was made clear from dialogue in the movie that the female lead was barren, meaning no eggs, or at least her eggs are non-viable. Having an umbilicus means that the infected sperm actually fertilized an egg, which is impossible for the character.

4. The surgical scene was also absurd. If the table was only configured for men, it would recognize ALL FEMALE BODY PARTS in the abdomen to be 'foreign objects.' Obviously, the character did not have a hysterectomy. How was the surgical pod able to know what to cut? In addition, the laser scalpel cut through the superficial tissues, then the clamp came down to remove the 'fetus' as it were. That's not how it works - it'd have to cut into the uterus in order to remove the fetus. Assuming that that's what the laser did, how did the computer know how deep to cut, or even where to cut? Even assuming past all this, the post procedure only stapled the superficial wound shut after the female character snapped off the umbilical cord without pulling out the placenta or even suturing up the uterus. Not good. She's going to bleed out very soo-oh hey, she's on her feet. Would you look at that.

You left out the complaint that it took place both at 20 light years and a billion miles from Earth (the latter of which wouldn't have even put it past Jupiter). I forget who made that comment but it was obvious that she had just finished her Kessel Run.

[Akanbe-]

[stuff]

So... Ashton, if I got a medical issue would you give some free advice?? :O  (an alien [no pun intended] concept to American-Doctor but common for Canadian citizen [eh]).

Stan: “How do you take a pregnancy test over the computer?”

Francine: “Well, per instruction, I first took several pictures of my genitals...and then one of me peeing on a teddy bear and sent them to the doctor.”

Stan: “I don't think that that's real.”

Francine: “He's a legitimate doctor, Stan. See for yourself. Dr.Vadgers124@... 'Dear Mrs. Smith, Please forward multiple photos of your vagina ASAP along with a photo of your boobs again.'"

*computer beeps*

Francine: “That must be the result. Oh, God, here goes... Oh, Dr. Vadgers says my lab work requires more information. He needs to see my boobs popping out of a cheerleading outfit. I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test going to tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super-careful.”

[Agent D.]

[stuff]

So... Ashton, if I got a medical issue would you give some free advice?? :O  (an alien [no pun intended] concept to American-Doctor but common for Canadian citizen [eh]).

Stan: “How do you take a pregnancy test over the computer?”

Francine: “Well, per instruction, I first took several pictures of my genitals...and then one of me peeing on a teddy bear and sent them to the doctor.”

Stan: “I don't think that that's real.”

Francine: “He's a legitimate doctor, Stan. See for yourself. Dr.Vadgers124@... 'Dear Mrs. Smith, Please forward multiple photos of your vagina ASAP along with a photo of your boobs again.'"

*computer beeps*

Francine: “That must be the result. Oh, God, here goes... Oh, Dr. Vadgers says my lab work requires more information. He needs to see my boobs popping out of a cheerleading outfit. I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test going to tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super-careful.”

It's kind of like all those people who reply to the poor idiot looking for an online diagnoses of a runny nose. Though I admit, this was one of the more hillarious moments of American Dad.

[Ashtrot]

[stuff]

So... Ashton, if I got a medical issue would you give some free advice?? :O  (an alien [no pun intended] concept to American-Doctor but common for Canadian citizen [eh]).

Stan: “How do you take a pregnancy test over the computer?”

Francine: “Well, per instruction, I first took several pictures of my genitals...and then one of me peeing on a teddy bear and sent them to the doctor.”

Stan: “I don't think that that's real.”

Francine: “He's a legitimate doctor, Stan. See for yourself. Dr.Vadgers124@... 'Dear Mrs. Smith, Please forward multiple photos of your vagina ASAP along with a photo of your boobs again.'"

*computer beeps*

Francine: “That must be the result. Oh, God, here goes... Oh, Dr. Vadgers says my lab work requires more information. He needs to see my boobs popping out of a cheerleading outfit. I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test going to tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super-careful.”

I have more class than that. I'm not one of those cheap online diagnosticians, I'm a medical professional.

Meaning, I need to see tits spilling out of a Chinese dress to make a proper diagnosis.

[Dice]

I'm sure you've seen all shapes and colours and asymmetry.