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Author Topic: A complaint...  (Read 1616 times)
Daggerstrike
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« on: July 24, 2008, 03:27:53 AM »

Some of what I'm about to say regarding Mr. D-Rider's shell games is so childishly simple, I fear it may be patronizing to explain; I apologize in advance. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on Mr. D-Rider's jokes. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, the first lies that Mr. D-Rider told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; his lies will grow until they blot out the sun.

I can't follow Mr. D-Rider's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Mr. D-Rider spends his leisure time devising ever more unstable ways to seize control of the power structure. While freely conceding that nothing appears more plausible at first sight, nor more ill-founded and self-serving upon closer inspection, than his reports, I, speaking as someone who is not a pestilential good-for-nothing, do suspect that Mr. D-Rider's "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude is purblind because it leaves no room for compromise. When someone bends knee to Mr. D-Rider's non-negotiable demands, he pushes and pushes for more. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that unyielding rigidity is just as much a threat to the continuity of things as soporific opportunism? That's why I'm telling you that we must work together to issue a call to conscience and reason. What can you do to help? For starters, you might want to point out that the emperor has no clothes on. I personally derive great satisfaction in doing that sort of thing because Mr. D-Rider is absolutely determined to believe that blackguard-ism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions, and he's not about to let facts or reason get in his way.

Did you hear what Mr. D-Rider recently said about vandalism? Never before has a polyloquent twaddler so cleverly hidden in plain sight his intention to suppress controversy and debate. I'll talk about that another time. I have other, more important, things to discuss now. For starters, his protégés actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these classes of loud, dissolute flakes are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will somehow improve the world before long. In reality, of course, there are three fairly obvious problems with Mr. D-Rider's histrionics, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to set the record straight. First, in the genesis of Mr. D-Rider's notions, snappish begot subhuman, which begot batty, which begot querulous. Second, Mr. D-Rider's revenge fantasies emphasize the formation of small units of morbid drones that can avoid detection by authorities, strike quickly and disperse, and, to some extent, resolve a moral failure with an immoral solution. And third, it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Mr. D-Rider's amateurish bromides. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and free Mr. D-Rider's mind from the constricting trammels of extremism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly Mr. D-Rider himself or one of his legatees, will write an ungrateful piece about how utterly disaffected I am. If that's the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.
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All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you.
Hidoshi
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« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2008, 03:34:21 AM »

Wat.

I'm sorry, I couldn't see a point behind that wall of text.

Try lowering it, then we'll talk. ^~
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Daggerstrike
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« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2008, 03:35:31 AM »

Quote from: "Hidoshi"
Wat.

I'm sorry, I couldn't see a point behind that wall of text.

Try lowering it, then we'll talk. ^~


On behalf of several members of the community, I would like to express my shock and disappointment at some of Mr. Hidoshi's "compromises". When writing this letter, I had originally intended to segregate the pure errors of fact in Mr. Hidoshi's comments from the assertions of questionable judgment where there could be room for dispute. I eventually decided against that approach because it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Mr. Hidoshi's jaundiced stratagems. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and rake Mr. Hidoshi over the coals for destroying our moral fiber. Finally, to those of you who are faithfully helping me make plans and carry them out, let me extend, as always, my deepest gratitude and my most affectionate regards.
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All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you.
Hidoshi
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« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2008, 03:52:59 AM »

Cheesus, I thought you were actually being serious in the first post and just overdid it. :P My bad.
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Daggerstrike
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« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2008, 03:56:18 AM »

Quote from: "Hidoshi"
Cheesus, I thought you were actually being serious in the first post and just overdid it. :P My bad.


Hehe, I found a complaint generator and thought it would be amusing =P
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All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you.
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« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2008, 07:38:58 AM »

My initial reaction was to sardonically clap slowly and say bravo on obfuscating a simple point with scads of supercilious floral prose.  Then I realized, "something's fishy here."  And after reading the response to Hidoshi, I thought, "ooh ooh, do a Chewbacca defense complaint about me next!"
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Ashton
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« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2008, 07:47:51 AM »

HE IS A WOOKIE FROM THE PLANET KASHYYYK. BUT HE LIVES ON THE PLANET ENDOR.

NOW THINK ABOUT THAT.

THAT. DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.
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D-Rider
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« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2008, 09:39:43 AM »

Quote from: "Daggerstrike"
Some of what I'm about to say regarding Mr. D-Rider's shell games is so childishly simple, I fear it may be patronizing to explain; I apologize in advance. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on Mr. D-Rider's jokes. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, the first lies that Mr. D-Rider told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; his lies will grow until they blot out the sun.

I can't follow Mr. D-Rider's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Mr. D-Rider spends his leisure time devising ever more unstable ways to seize control of the power structure. While freely conceding that nothing appears more plausible at first sight, nor more ill-founded and self-serving upon closer inspection, than his reports, I, speaking as someone who is not a pestilential good-for-nothing, do suspect that Mr. D-Rider's "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude is purblind because it leaves no room for compromise. When someone bends knee to Mr. D-Rider's non-negotiable demands, he pushes and pushes for more. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that unyielding rigidity is just as much a threat to the continuity of things as soporific opportunism? That's why I'm telling you that we must work together to issue a call to conscience and reason. What can you do to help? For starters, you might want to point out that the emperor has no clothes on. I personally derive great satisfaction in doing that sort of thing because Mr. D-Rider is absolutely determined to believe that blackguard-ism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions, and he's not about to let facts or reason get in his way.

Did you hear what Mr. D-Rider recently said about vandalism? Never before has a polyloquent twaddler so cleverly hidden in plain sight his intention to suppress controversy and debate. I'll talk about that another time. I have other, more important, things to discuss now. For starters, his protégés actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these classes of loud, dissolute flakes are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will somehow improve the world before long. In reality, of course, there are three fairly obvious problems with Mr. D-Rider's histrionics, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to set the record straight. First, in the genesis of Mr. D-Rider's notions, snappish begot subhuman, which begot batty, which begot querulous. Second, Mr. D-Rider's revenge fantasies emphasize the formation of small units of morbid drones that can avoid detection by authorities, strike quickly and disperse, and, to some extent, resolve a moral failure with an immoral solution. And third, it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Mr. D-Rider's amateurish bromides. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and free Mr. D-Rider's mind from the constricting trammels of extremism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly Mr. D-Rider himself or one of his legatees, will write an ungrateful piece about how utterly disaffected I am. If that's the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.


Yeah well, that's not what your mom said last night.
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Dade
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« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2008, 12:37:10 PM »



Neither does this thread.

GG Daggs.
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Angelo
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« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2008, 02:01:30 PM »

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Raze
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« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2008, 03:34:08 PM »

Ewoks are chewwies workaround on tough Kashyyk statutory rape laws.
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Losfer
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« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2008, 05:34:08 PM »

...I'm confused.

Are we NOT posting our dicks in this thread?
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Raze
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« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2008, 05:48:21 PM »

You can think of Bob Ross' fro as a tuft of pubic hair if it helps you.
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Leo
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« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2008, 06:25:44 PM »

I actually read most of that and still didn't understand it. I'm quite stupid.
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Ramza
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« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2008, 07:42:17 PM »

Quote from: "Miho"
I actually read most of that and still didn't understand it. I'm quite stupid.


No, you're not stupid. The statement just doesn't make any sense. The "complaint generator" apparently <3s its Thesaurus a bit too much. :)

Ramza
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