A Psychosomatic Self-Administered Medical Assessment Study:
The Inter-Personal-Outer-Self Voyage of Funk-and-Roll-esque Colloquialism-Swathed oh man i hate this song hang on oh my god, i had an epic vision to this song once... so this is a journal about cannabis...
And one man who stood against your mom,
competing in the contest of "Longest Movie Subtitle ever created,"
I declare my extolment upon the Lord God,
And then, somehow, my life works just fine;
until the catgirls came into the mix.
That is, in fact, the title of this essay/thesis-type thing I am writing right now. I don't even really know the purpose of it, other than I'd like to chronicle the mental-processing patterns of my mind, and their means of transposition for-to neural-electrical impulses of the brain, and the way they somehow manage to find individual letters to type in correct order, despite their brazen placement upon the keyboard– that is, until you get used to it. Let's be real, shall we?
The keyboard is laid out in a screwed up pattern to the untrained eye. But with practice, the QWERTY keyboard we use in America is generally the slowest one that exists. However, a DVORAK keyboard would allow pretty much anybody ever, to type with a speed far beyond American standards. Yeah, that's stupid right? We use the slowest keyboard layout on the face of the planet. The DVORAK people can type upwards of 200 words per minute. Yeah, show me anybody you know who can get up there on these things. It's in the Giunness Book of stupid and shit people do, right. The point is, it's the best keyboard in the world and nobody uses it.
Which brings me to my next point... Satan, he exists. No, shut up, you're probably just another non-believer, which is cool. We don't all get to experience visions of Angels and divine euphoria. I know I was pretty taken aback by it when I first started writing in a more professional literary method. One, which, I am plainly not using right now. I also just got really hover-ish... hovery, right there. What song is this okay, now it's the title music from Berserk. I dont even know what this song is. It's like fucking, a mix of ancient Medieval war hymns sung on the battlefield, but it's in japanese, and the instruments are some weird shit nobody's ever even heard of that made it. It's some instrument ancient rome used to use in gladiator battlefields, and some japanese guy synthed the exact sound onto a casio keyboard in the early 90s, to make this song's background beat.
That former paragraph is the most horribly contrived thing ever created, but that doesn't matter right now. I need to discuss something important, with other means, and I will be back. Okay wait no, this part of the song is kind of like charging over a 400-mile-an-hour wind storm tearing through your home town's fields of golden, light-blooming-in-the-sun fields of wheat and shark grass. Charging headlong into Satan's hole he has torn into the earth in a valley, carved out of Easter Island, and flying straight into a hole in the planet, down, straight down into infinite Hell to claim the heads of your former brothers and sisters, as they defected to the wrong side. And it time to kill they ass.
Okay the song's over. That was pretty crazy. Right now I think this is the ending vocal to Breath of Fire V: Dragon Quarter. Which is actually one of the most amazing games I've ever seen in my fucking life. It takes a basic human concept of a utopian tower world, and then shoves it straight into the Earth, locks the top off, and creates a government that lies to its people that "The Sky" is a myth. Nobody believes the sky exists, all because the Regent government denies it does. The Regents? They're like fifteen up-tight, psychotic, drug-addicted, mind-fucked-master-swords-men who teach their children to murder their parents to pass on the legend of a sword technique, and the list goes on. These are the people who control the world, in a flying palace of ivory, jade, gold, platinum floors, infinite sources of energy and sustenance, while the second most successful place to live, right beneath the Regent's palace... is a fucking electrical supply building, which is built on top of the city itself.
Also, their palace is flying like a mile above the top floor of the electrical supply building. This means when you reach the top of the supply building, as hundreds upon how many thousands of potential Host bodies for the two remaining, of three OverGod Titan Dragons who are still locked into this god damned-and-forsaken, sky-less world with the rest of you.
Except, you play the main character, Ryu, who is the Host for the most badass and godly of the three Dragons, whose name is somehow spelled, I have no idea how it's pronounced; Odjn. This dragon is seen on one of the lowest floors of the tower world, in a giant dumping grounds that nobody ever goes to, hearing that it's cursed, and somesuch. Well, if you were walking around a staples supply center, brightly lit aisles of white that all smell like clean, brand new plastics and dust-cleaning aerosols... then you turn a corner and open a door, and inside you behold the vision of Hell's God-less Maw sprawling out, its molten platinum fangs vibrate against the uproarious wrath of the Dragon's screeching, ear-deafening-G-Force-breaking, wailing subsonic roar... this is basically Odjn waking up from sleeping, and this is what you will behold as a human entering his fucking coffin.
Oh, also, that Dragon? He only has half his body left, a shred of a shoulder, his two wings, which are like to weigh seventy-tons each... and since his body is gone, he can't fly any longer––thus, his wings are spread out against the wall of this underground sewer and dumping grounds... impaled with hundreds of rusted spears and swords, while his chest and stomach are brazenly impaled with two industrial steel support beams.
Here's a hint: This dragon who is murdered a billion times and when he yawns and wakes up, flesh melts off his face, swirling in scalding beige-and-red flesh around his fangs... and it's still alive... and it "wants you."
This is the character you play as in this game from that one song I heard like twenty minutes ago. I don't even know what's going on now, but Breath of Fire V is pretty badass since you kill Cheterye, Odjn's asshole of a former brother, to bring the Mythological Sky back into reality, and give it to all of mankind. That is what you do in this game, where you play as a Dragon's Soul-possessed young man, who teams up with a giant-breasted subhuman catgirl sniper, to save a ten year old girl whose lungs were ripped out of her chest, and replaced with air filters, thus re-giving life to a human body, and murdering its ability to speak or eat.
This is all because the government of the tower world, decided they wanted air filters in the lower world– the lower world they themselves forced upon the entire remnants of mankind. This is why Odjn picks you to climb the entire tower and murder the shit out of every government assassin they throw at you, as you rip apart endless hordes of mutants and escaped, failed, immortal science experiments in a sub-terranian world of Dragon Gods warring upon one another for ten billion years, until Ryu comes along, finds a girl, Nina, whose life will end if she cannot get to clean air. Well, time to go to the sky then, rip the head, eyes, mouth, jaws, teeth, flesh, organs, wings and thereby the ending strike in this transcendental marvel of one man, who is extinguishing your Life Flame––as opposed to Life Blood; these are Dragons, you see––all because you fucked with Nina and ripped her lungs out and didn't give one fucking shit––well fuck you then, Cheterye. Fuck your skyless, Godless, emotionless world of dirt and monarchic dictatorship, we're goin' to the fuckin' sky––bitch.
This game's ending, you see, is quite marvelous. In fact, it's worthy to note during the entire gameplay, you have what is called a "D-Counter" on the screen at all times. The D-Counter is the value of your soul that is being filled by Odjn. The higher this counter gets, things start to change. It only rises in increments of 0.01% at a time, and one of these "ticks" only occurs once every 18 steps you take. Not too bad for a videogame, right?
Okay but let's relate that into real life. On average, a human being who takes one step is covering about three feet of distance. This means that for every 18 steps, up to 10,000 ticks, for a total of 180,000 ticks, each tick equalling three feet, you can travel only 540,000 more feet in walking distance until your body dies. In short, you have 100 miles left your body can travel, until Odjn rips your body apart, never reaching Cheterye, and meaning if you don't use your last 100 miles you can travel to do every impossible deed ever recorded, then an infinitum more of Ninas, young girls not even given clothes, will have their bodies torn apart and turned into commercial house vacuum cleaners.
Get your ass up there, and kill that fucking dragon, restore the sky and sunlight to humanity, and marvel, when you complete the game, and how the creators decided to show what the Earth looks like after mankind has not lived on its surface in millions of years. Bad. Ass. Fucking. Game. or BAFG, and boldface is still on.
In short, I believe this test is rather conclusive to a few things, but this is not meant to diagnose anything. This is only meant to be a test to see if I can talk to myself through a computer's screen, relay messages of thought, feelings of emotion, and concepts of epic proportion into a reader or audience.
And boy I am one hungry son'bitch cause I tell you what get me some dem munchies riaght' naow son.
I SHALL BE BACK SHORTLY I NEED TO DO STUFF OK
I DONT KNOW STOP ASKING
but no seriously I should eat something just the same. ;x