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Author Topic: Do you hate your life?  (Read 16737 times)
mizuki_no_beatdown
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« Reply #60 on: September 16, 2009, 11:45:57 AM »

 Hating my life never really enters my mind. Maybe it's because of the way I was raised, but I adjust to things quickly. Sometimes I think that's a good thing, sometimes I think that's the worst thing about my upbringing.  

 When I was 13, my brother died, me and my sister were the only kids still living at home. My parents went numb, we never spoke to each other about it. They were obviously grieving in their own ways, but it was basically a taboo subject. They both just sorta went into autopilot, and stopped caring about alot of things. So, we were left to fend for ourselves in alot of ways. Us being extremely sheltered before then didn't help at all. We didn't have any friends, the only people we knew outside our family members were the few people crazy enough to go to a Baptist church in an area where virtually everyone was Catholic, which was two old people. Had no idea what to do, homeschool was bad enough but atleast it was some sort of education. I ended up a school dropout, became even more introverted and spent the next three years rarely setting foot outside my house. The worst part is, I just accepted this as normal and never tried to get any help, to go to school, learn to drive and become independent.
  
 So if there's anything I hate, its just my tendency to accept things without questioning them or putting forth any effort to change them for the better. I don't wanna leave this a one big gripey whine so I'll finish the story. I believe the old saying God works in mysterious ways. He brought my family closer again by me getting really sick. It snapped my parents out of their depression, they were like different people. Alot of damage was already done, me and my sister never graduated highschool. I'm better off than her because I put forth more effort once I recovered, and went out and met people, got a job, and got over my social anxieties. She's still the same as when we were teenagers, never leaves the house, has no friends, has never had a job at 24. That's my one worry, getting her help.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2009, 11:52:32 AM by mizuki_no_beatdown » Logged

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Tomara
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« Reply #61 on: September 18, 2009, 04:19:21 PM »

Life sucks. Today I learned that the protocol at some (many? all?) hospitals is to assume that all women are whores and lie about it. Also, the whole world is straight and the most important parts of my body are my ovaries and uterus.

Oh and the more or less closed our town off from the rest of the world. One of the two roads out of town is closed off for maintaince. Trees pushed up the road a bit and they decided to fix it now, even though they should have done so months earlier when people didn't need the road that much. It took me 90 minutes to get to the next town and it's is normally a 15 minute busride. Roadblock quests, no longer unique to RPG's...

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Dios GX
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« Reply #62 on: September 19, 2009, 03:28:57 PM »

Life sucks. Today I learned that the protocol at some (many? all?) hospitals is to assume that all women are whores and lie about it. Also, the whole world is straight and the most important parts of my body are my ovaries and uterus.

You live in America now? Wow, stuff changed while I was away!

Okay so, a bit ago, I posted I was diagnosed with swine flu, and my life was pretty shitty from that. However, thanks to crohn's disease killing my immune system, as I was vainly attempting to recover from that, I then managed to catch pneumonia and then had to battle with that.

Do I hate my life right now? Naw, I feel icky and gunky, but I'm alright. However, this is one of the few times I will ever pull this card, and only in regard to physical suffering.

If anyone claims they suffered something more horrifying than vomiting and shitting blood, at times through my tear ducts IE: I WAS VOMITING OUT MY EYE SOCKETS... WITH BLOOD––OKAY... /deepbreath, and then had to come down with Viral Lung Pneumonia, yeah, the thing that killed me in the USAF when I was 18, RIGHT after that, well... I applaud you for having more guts than I ever will.

Because I praised God the entire time I went through that ordeal.
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kyuusei
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« Reply #63 on: September 19, 2009, 03:45:00 PM »

This isn't hating on my life, and it's not physical unless you count carrying heavy textbooks :P More like HOLY CRAP what have I gotten into this semester, which is not even 2 weeks old?

c&ped out of my lj:

Get to campus an hour early, doing physics (relativity & quanta) on the way only to do.. more physics. (Guess what was due today, just guess.) Spent an hour in Calc III being told that mixed partial derivatives can be done in any order. An hour too much, IT'S NOT A HARD CONCEPT OKAY. Spent not-quite two hours in the linear algebra lab only to finish it all but two theoretical questions, then just ditch 20 minutes early - my only chance of eating anything before a THREE hour physics lab. In which I get paired with the only other girl there and we managed better than the guys by the end. :P

Spent the NEXT two hours or so finishing that damn assignment that was due. Left school ..just before 7. Pee em.

I think I have the most ridiculous non-nursing schedule in the college. Couldn't decide what the hell to take home because I have more homework than I can fit in my bag. Gah.

I can't decide if my brain is fried, or scrambled.
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Dios GX
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« Reply #64 on: September 20, 2009, 02:25:37 PM »

So, nobody at the hospital told me these steroids, which I needed to stay alive, would utterly destroy any sense of sexual stimulation in anyway at all.

Now part of me wishes I just stayed dead.
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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #65 on: September 21, 2009, 01:59:12 AM »

Quote
So, nobody at the hospital told me these steroids, which I needed to stay alive, would utterly destroy any sense of sexual stimulation in anyway at all.

Funny you should mention that. I've got about a million ways to respond to this except I don't think I really will because that would run way to close to puncturing the boundary between me and my internet alter-ego.
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Logick
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« Reply #66 on: September 21, 2009, 02:30:58 AM »

Do I hate my life? Hell no!
Am I frustrated with it?  ATM yes.

So I've been working for three years at this game developer, no crunch time, no ego maniacs, no career cliques.  I thought I was doing good, hell I even got a plaque for three years long service, but this week it hit me.  Its time to move on.  And exactly what hit me was a case of being scapegoated.  there was a big fuckup on this project, which caused panic, I was partially to blame for it, when I stepped up to admit my mistake, everyone else who was to blame began pointing at me and saying "yeah it was his fault",  this was weeks ago, I'm still getting snide remarks about it, and the other day my boss took me aside and told me people complain about my work, how I never get things done on time, how I'm rude, uncooperative, and my fuckup.  I admit I fucked up but everything else is BS, when I asked for examples he said "that's besides the point, you have an image to maintain", which I replied "But I'm none of those things you said I am I need examples to improve", he once again said "thats besides the point" (total side note, am I the only on who sees that phrase as a get out of jail free BS term?).  So I noticed I've been here for 3 years, getting paid really low, never been thanked or given more responsibilities.  Its time to move on :(
Just don't know where to go, I fear I'll end up in another crunch-tastic movie license churn house studio filled with ego maniacs who think they're hot shit since they're making games, only to end up getting laid off at the end of the project just cause "thats their thing".  I've been eyeing going to japan for a job, but living there kinda scares me, or going back to socal for a dream job, but I HATED socal.  I might just put this job hunt aside and work on going indy.
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"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing."
~Malcolm X
Akanbe-
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« Reply #67 on: September 21, 2009, 05:57:54 PM »

So, nobody at the hospital told me these steroids, which I needed to stay alive, would utterly destroy any sense of sexual stimulation in anyway at all.

Now part of me wishes I just stayed dead.

Going off of friends in the field, the only one who probably knew about the effect is the pharmacist and they probably forgot to mention it to the doctor/nurse.  Do you know how long will it last?

And Logick, that sucks.  I imagine indie developers would be much more pleasant to work around than a bigger company like you describe.  If you went to Japan, what kind of job would you be trying to land? Still in game development?
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Dice
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« Reply #68 on: September 21, 2009, 07:45:19 PM »

I dont hate my life, but I am stressed by it.
24 hours is never enough.

I need to assure a high mark for another program (and by high, I mean "A" or higher) and am taking night school to obtain a credit for that programs requirement and then have two days of work thrown in on days off.
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Logick
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« Reply #69 on: September 22, 2009, 03:18:29 AM »

And Logick, that sucks.  I imagine indie developers would be much more pleasant to work around than a bigger company like you describe.  If you went to Japan, what kind of job would you be trying to land? Still in game development?

Not going to an indie developer, starting my own indie studio, there's a group of us who want it to happen, just need the drive, its rough.  As for Japan, Grasshopper Manufacture(No More Heroes, Killer7) is hiring western devs like there's no tomorrow, training them in japanese and everything, I'm VERY tempted but three things are stopping me, I'm a huge fan of their games, I fear working for them may make me hate the games(its happened before), Japanese game dev studios pay REALLY low, I'm not talking about "shitty pay" I'm talking "WTF?!?" and living in Japan with that pay doesn't seem good, I loved visiting Japan, I just dunno if I wanna live there.
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"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing."
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Ryos
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« Reply #70 on: September 22, 2009, 07:18:29 AM »

Well considering the average 32 year old artist is making a $12,000 a year salary in Japan with 12 hour shifts to make deadlines, I would imagine developers are being paid peanuts as well.
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Ashton
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« Reply #71 on: September 22, 2009, 08:26:52 AM »

Hate is such a strong word. I'm used to it. Like women being crazy. Or the ever looming threat of terrorism.
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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #72 on: September 22, 2009, 01:06:36 PM »

I don't know why but this seems relevant here.

Quote
As day length shortens (technically, it's the increasing dark period) it stimulates blooming in Coleus, so fall plants are much more determined to bloom than they were in summer. There is no practical way for the hobbyist to prevent the plant from maturing sexually, but pinching the blooms will go a long way toward keeping the plant growing with the vigor of the intermediate (teenager) stage.

Imagine if humans worked like that.
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GrimReality
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« Reply #73 on: September 22, 2009, 02:53:10 PM »

I don't know why but this seems relevant here.

Quote
As day length shortens (technically, it's the increasing dark period) it stimulates blooming in Coleus, so fall plants are much more determined to bloom than they were in summer. There is no practical way for the hobbyist to prevent the plant from maturing sexually, but pinching the blooms will go a long way toward keeping the plant growing with the vigor of the intermediate (teenager) stage.

Imagine if humans worked like that.
ha. Plant geeks unite!
ahem...anyway...
I'm going to go pinch a teenager and see what happens. I predict lawsuit(what? You think I'd pinch a dude?).
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Dincrest
Spectrum
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« Reply #74 on: September 22, 2009, 03:57:43 PM »

Does Facebook poking work the same way as this pinching?  :P

EDIT: I have to admit that though I'm 31, lately I've been waking up most days feeling like a disillusioned and wangsty 15 year old.  
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