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Author Topic: Do you hate your life?  (Read 16686 times)
Ryos
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« Reply #45 on: September 07, 2009, 07:19:39 AM »

Special education is always in high demand because it is tough.  On the plus side, most districts are so needy for teachers there that the field portions of the education will get your foot in the door for a position long enough to get tenure.  But then California's financial position is precarious, so I don't know how well that logic holds if you aren't willing to go to another state.  I know I have been passed on a particular job opportunity because I wasn't from the area, despite being willing to relocate at my own expense.
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« Reply #46 on: September 07, 2009, 12:52:18 PM »

Lucca: Have you ever thought about teaching pre-school? They seem to ALWAYS be hiring somewhere, lack (and desire!) really well-qualified people, and it's relatively easy to move up the ladder. I really enjoyed the year I taught it. It doesn't pay the most at first, but at least you'll have insurance!


As for my life, I feel extremely fortunate. I have a beautiful wife, a fulfilling and enjoyable job, a wonderful church community, and we're paying down our student loans at a rate we never thought possible--we host multiple international students in our house through an ESL program. It pays great and it's really fun--we currently house a Saudi Arabian, and a Chinese student. We'll be getting a Japanese student and our returning student from Mexico in a week--so four students total!
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Dincrest
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« Reply #47 on: September 07, 2009, 03:00:46 PM »

Oh dear, Neal's mention of California's educational woes spurned me to post.

Not just Cali, but everywhere in the US.  Be it Cali, New Jersey, Michigan, wherever, the story isn't much different.
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Dios GX
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« Reply #48 on: September 10, 2009, 03:52:11 PM »

Okay right now I hate my fucking life. No, really, I do. Only for right now though, provided I actually live through this.

I thought I'd contracted pneumonia somehow, again, as I'm very susceptible to catching it. But no, thanks to whatever dumbfuck went to PAX with swine flu, acompanied by the spread of it here in SoCal has caused some mass, global influx of its spreading and now I have it.

Yeah, the guy who gets mini-strokes, has crohn's disease, a weak heart, weak lungs, and a damaged brain, now has fucking swine flu.

I think I'm just paranoid, but at this point, I'm starting to worry for my life. When I say I don't feel good, for a normal person, they'd already be dead from a low CON rating. Yes I made a D&D reference. ;x
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Alisha
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« Reply #49 on: September 10, 2009, 04:06:25 PM »

the only thing really bad for me right now is that my mom has colon cancer and is going through chemo(sp?) i'm kinda mad though because it coulda been caught like a year ago if she had health insurance.
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« Reply #50 on: September 10, 2009, 07:02:12 PM »

the only thing really bad for me right now is that my mom has colon cancer and is going through chemo(sp?) i'm kinda mad though because it coulda been caught like a year ago if she had health insurance.

And that's *the* crisis in America.  I mean, people shouldn't die because they can't afford health care and people shouldn't go broke because of exorbitant hospital bills.  I'm behind on a LOT of medical/dental stuff because I haven't had insurance for years and something's bound to have gotten to a less-than-stellar point.  Obama won Kenobi, you're our only hope right now.
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Dios GX
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« Reply #51 on: September 10, 2009, 07:17:35 PM »

the only thing really bad for me right now is that my mom has colon cancer and is going through chemo(sp?) i'm kinda mad though because it coulda been caught like a year ago if she had health insurance.

So my aforementioned post is irrelevant now, but I'm just leaving it there to show how fucked up I was a while ago. Also, get rid of these Evony ads, seriously you guys, I see this ad on porn sites and on this forum? Someone's making a lot of money because of a random chick in a dress.

Anyway I smoked weed and I feel perfectly fine. My blood pressure and heart rate are unbelievably normalized, so now I am able to properly rest, drink fluids and eat––which was making me vomit within seconds of ingestion––so now I have some vitamins and carbs in my system. Also, yeah, this weed makes you hock up a lot of... viscous, brown, gooey green-and-yellow phlegm... but, for me, I want to cough up all that bacteria, then inhale some scalding hot tea for an hour, calmly enjoying its slightly hot; now warm-into-luke, and the final sip, a refreshing awakening of calm, misty delight.

Fuck, tea's badass. And this weed is some fucking good shit.

HOWEVER, AND I USE CAPS AND BOLD FOR ATTENTION CAUSE DISS FO REELZ IN DISS BITCH OKAY

This is very much on topic for you, 'Lish. It's strange, i was thinking about our old PSO days no shit, like three days ago, right when I got sick. So I took a... little too much NyQuil and started tripping out. I talked to a bud of mine about it, and she told me this chick drank like... a normal sized bottle of robetussin (sp?), and within 15 minutes was screaming and crying in the shower, complaining of "lava spitting spiders," also in her own words, picked out of the psychotisim; "they're hatching out of the webs," which were "coming from the shower head."

Essentially, after we'd discovered this all happened because of cough medicine, I've been less than willing to go near pharmaceuticals. I strongly encourage you to look up information on cannabis in the presence of chemotherapy. I have anxiety at times, I sometimes worry, but only in the most excruciating of times involving my health. But cannabis (weed) is also helping me with my crohn's disease. I used to get flare ups 20 times a week, which could last anywhere between five minutes, and two hours. With recurring "aftershock" pain lasting upwards of two hours. As you can guess, this means I'm in recurring pain 24 hours a day, and imagine if you would, a machinegun, being fired into you with infinite ammo.

Then each bullet, after a certain period, exploded inside of you. Then each of those ten fragments, and so forth. Each bullet explodes for 2 hours in itself, and you are being shot at, every day, forever.

That's what crohn's disease causes for me. Until I discovered marijuana actually works. Talk to your mom about it in sincerity. It also slows down aging in certain cells and cell clusters. Not all of them, mind you, but enough to extend your life expectancy a few years. Fuck, I ain't gonna argue with 10 more years on my life. And for someone like me, that means I'll get to be like 48, maybe.

Do I seem upset? I would be if I didn't have weed. Represent westside motha fuckaszzz uhn.

Yeah, I discovered weed from some buddies of mine in california. They even got me the recommendation to have my license to carry and use. See, it's legal if you do through a silly little loophole. Try to find a Cannabis Consultant near you, and within 24-72 hours, you'll have a weed card and be directed to like five clinics in your vicinity.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm not throwing up every 2 hours for the first time in two days, and I'm gonna go watch family guy.

My life's fucking badass again.
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Shiguma
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« Reply #52 on: September 10, 2009, 07:40:55 PM »

I don't "hate" my life.  There are certainly elements of it I am "dissatisfied" with, but all things considered, I try to count my blessings and consider myself to be an accomplished and fortunate person.  I have 2 BAs and a solid GPA from a reputable university, I've already achieved the one and only important "dream" I've ever had since I was a kid (living and working in Japan), and I currently make a comfortable salary at a comfortable job in Corporate America.  I've never had to experience financial or health-related worries of any kind.  I have a supportive family and wonderful friends.

That said, most of the "dissatisfaction" I experience from time to time is all related to *drumroll*... women.  I'm 25, I've been "seriously" involved with 5 girls over the last 7 years, and all of those relationships broke down for one reason or another.  I've been through it all... the whole "our lives are moving in different directions" break-up, the "holy shit, you're crazy" break-up, and most recently, the "holy shit, your FAMILY is crazy" break-up.  In all honesty, I've become rather jaded about the entire concept of "love" and "romance" at this point.  I've always been a very active, busy person, but recently I'm becoming busier and busier yet with work and my own interests/passions, so it's becoming harder and harder for me to meet new people.  When I *do* meet new people, I often take a bit of a defensive stance and automatically look a little too hard for all of the potential "red flags."  The whole "dating process" is very tiresome to me, so I often contend with feelings of "I'm kinda lonely, it would be nice if I had someone to share _____ with again..." vs. "I don't have the time/energy to pursue this."

On a similar note, there seem to be two schools of thought about meeting a potential partner: "You have to be proactive and find someone" vs. "Don't look for someone, someone will find you, let life's events take their course."  I've always subscribed to the former philosophy, but lately, I'm leaning towards the latter, because I feel like the harder I try to look for a new relationship, the more disappointed I am when it all doesn't work out.  If anyone has words of wisdom on this subject, I'm all ears.
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Daggerstrike
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« Reply #53 on: September 10, 2009, 09:13:30 PM »

I don't "hate" my life.  There are certainly elements of it I am "dissatisfied" with, but all things considered, I try to count my blessings and consider myself to be an accomplished and fortunate person.  I have 2 BAs and a solid GPA from a reputable university, I've already achieved the one and only important "dream" I've ever had since I was a kid (living and working in Japan), and I currently make a comfortable salary at a comfortable job in Corporate America.  I've never had to experience financial or health-related worries of any kind.  I have a supportive family and wonderful friends.

That said, most of the "dissatisfaction" I experience from time to time is all related to *drumroll*... women.  I'm 25, I've been "seriously" involved with 5 girls over the last 7 years, and all of those relationships broke down for one reason or another.  I've been through it all... the whole "our lives are moving in different directions" break-up, the "holy shit, you're crazy" break-up, and most recently, the "holy shit, your FAMILY is crazy" break-up.  In all honesty, I've become rather jaded about the entire concept of "love" and "romance" at this point.  I've always been a very active, busy person, but recently I'm becoming busier and busier yet with work and my own interests/passions, so it's becoming harder and harder for me to meet new people.  When I *do* meet new people, I often take a bit of a defensive stance and automatically look a little too hard for all of the potential "red flags."  The whole "dating process" is very tiresome to me, so I often contend with feelings of "I'm kinda lonely, it would be nice if I had someone to share _____ with again..." vs. "I don't have the time/energy to pursue this."

On a similar note, there seem to be two schools of thought about meeting a potential partner: "You have to be proactive and find someone" vs. "Don't look for someone, someone will find you, let life's events take their course."  I've always subscribed to the former philosophy, but lately, I'm leaning towards the latter, because I feel like the harder I try to look for a new relationship, the more disappointed I am when it all doesn't work out.  If anyone has words of wisdom on this subject, I'm all ears.

Awww Shigs. At least I still love you.
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« Reply #54 on: September 11, 2009, 12:48:29 AM »

[snip] In all honesty, I've become rather jaded about the entire concept of "love" and "romance" at this point.  I've always been a very active, busy person, but recently I'm becoming busier and busier yet with work and my own interests/passions, so it's becoming harder and harder for me to meet new people.  When I *do* meet new people, I often take a bit of a defensive stance and automatically look a little too hard for all of the potential "red flags."  The whole "dating process" is very tiresome to me, so I often contend with feelings of "I'm kinda lonely, it would be nice if I had someone to share _____ with again..." vs. "I don't have the time/energy to pursue this."

On a similar note, there seem to be two schools of thought about meeting a potential partner: "You have to be proactive and find someone" vs. "Don't look for someone, someone will find you, let life's events take their course."  I've always subscribed to the former philosophy, but lately, I'm leaning towards the latter, because I feel like the harder I try to look for a new relationship, the more disappointed I am when it all doesn't work out.  If anyone has words of wisdom on this subject, I'm all ears.

I'm sort of the same way.  Defensive when I meet anyone and look too hard for reasons why I wouldn't want to date them.

I do subscribe to the "Don't look for someone, someone will find you" school of thought.  I've tried to be proactive and it usually ends in disappointment when the girl isn't who I thought she would be.  I should probably stop with the preconceived notions about people.  Might make things easier.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 12:50:09 AM by Akanbe- » Logged


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kyuusei
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« Reply #55 on: September 11, 2009, 12:51:49 AM »

I also subscribe to the latter. It was how I got pretty much all of my relationships, plus, when I try to be the one doing the looking, I seem to subconsciously or not have this set of traits or ideals or whatever, and in the process of actually looking I eliminate too many possibilities - almost like looking too hard to find reasons not to date them, like Akanbe- said.
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« Reply #56 on: September 11, 2009, 01:28:13 AM »

I've learned that I'm a lot less attractive when I'm actively pursuing someone.  So, if you meet someone charming, just be open to the idea of romance, rather than picking someone out of the crowd and deciding that you want them to be awesome.  Maybe it's a guy thing, maybe it's just me, but I inaccurately idealize the women I'm pursuing, which sounds like the opposite of what you've been doing Kyuusei.

I hated my life today.  I had decided last night that it was finally okay for me to be optimistic about my situation and hobbies.  Usually when I'd get cheery, I'd get crushed, so I've been pretty somber/negative as a defense mechanism.  Enough is enough, it was time to just be happy.  I had planned to finally get to work with my programming projects in the morning, but of course, first thing I discover is computer trouble.  After experiencing restarts every few minutes, I decided to format my hard drive... except Windows kept crashing during installation.  I couldn't figure it out for the longest time.

Turns out that my 2nd RAM slot doesn't work... so in the end, I only lost 512mb of RAM, leaving me with 1.5gigs... not bad, considering I was expecting to need a new motherboard or something.

God is a fucking comedian.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 01:30:14 AM by Fei » Logged

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« Reply #57 on: September 11, 2009, 07:13:10 AM »

When it comes to the ladies... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j48XjInBd7U

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« Reply #58 on: September 11, 2009, 04:50:06 PM »

So I stop visiting the 'Fan for a few months (exams, traveling, typical Nuri-absent-mindedness) and when I do come back, this is the first topic I decide to read. Not exactly the most cheerful fifteen minutes of my life. :P

But to answer the question: I can't really hate my life because there's really nothing to compare it to (sure, I could compare it to somebody else's life, but we're all so invariably unique that it wouldn't be an unjust comparison). I'm twenty years old and about to go to University to read Politics & Economics. I both love and detest my family though I might chalk the latter to the irritable moods of fasting. Money isn't a major problem. My health has always been quirky; I probably take more trips to the hospital than all my family members collectively though I've come to get used to this.

What's been bugging me is that I haven't been going outdoors much. I'm in K.L. for the summer and going out in the city just doesn't cut it for me. It's difficult to appreciate the beauty of a fine day in such a metropolitan place... our parks simply aren't big enough to isolate the sense of traffic and claustrophobia. I've been in Oxford for pre-U over the last two years and the change in atmosphere has really bummed me out-- I'll be going to Scotland soon though, which gives me something to look forward to.

So no hate. Just the occasional immersion into misery, followed by a case of the "what-the-hell-was-I-so-tensed-about".
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« Reply #59 on: September 16, 2009, 03:30:05 AM »

In regards to soda:

Occasionally I drink Diet coke when I need caffeine. I have to be pretty desperate because I fucking hate diet soda.

Now, the only soda I drink regularly is La Croix grapefruit flavored club soda. It's awesome because it's carbonated water with flavoring. No calories at all. Still might have sodium problems, but I drink a lot of tea and regular water.

Only other sodas I drink with any degree of regularity are... Reed's Ginger Brew, Malta Goya, and that uh, juniper berry flavored Dry Soda.

So anyway, as I mentioned before, something at work made my mind go funny. Part of it might've been because in Lima, Glenn Beck is next to God, and group-think is, or at least I perceived it to be, necessary to not be completely ostracized and, well, forced to do the really crappy jobs (like cleaning out the range hood in the kitchens). You start to lose your sense of self, I guess, when you're subjected to that much cognitive dissonance? And my co-workers were extraordinarily depressing people. To the point where I really couldn't think about planning for grad school this summer because thinking about the future in ANY capacity would either make me freak out, or get washed over in wave after wave of defeatism.

And, as I mentioned -- or maybe I didn't. I don't remember -- I started feeling oddly nostalgic about... highschool, and even middleschool. Childhood in general. And lately I've been feeling like the best part of my life was behind me and I'd never be happy again.

Except, making an actual effort to categorize things that I really missed about being younger? Well, highschool is eight hours of class a day and a lot of homework, whereas university is maybe three hours of class a day on average. Four if you're an overachiever. I never had a lot of friends in highschool -- I still don't, but eh, it's not like I lost something. Prior to highschool I was a fat, obnoxious weeaboo kid that got bullied and damn well deserved it.

I couldn't take long walks back home. There wasn't a wind farm in town. There wasn't anywhere I could just go exploring. I had some degree of structure, but...

Looking back, this kind of thing never concerned me up until really recently. And looking back, I've realized that I'm nostalgic for things that never happened. Actually, maybe I mean that in another way too although I can't really explain that coherently right now.

So maybe another approach is that, being a senior, I'm a little forlorn for the days when college was new, but even that wasn't a great experience. First semester I had a roommate, which sucked. Second semester was wonderful and I really do miss that. I do miss the days when the campus wasn't such a goddamn mess. But... grad school and moving to Columbus just has far better prospects. That's where I want to be. And I don't think that's where I should've been for my undergrad program, no matter how non-fond of Bowling Green I am. I am convinced that things happen for reasons, even if those reasons are hastily scribbled out on dark maps that aren't particularly readable.

Ultimately, I have to decide what I really have to be unhappy about. Or, more importantly, just accept unhappiness as a meaningful emotion. You cannot live yourself violently into reality otherwise!!!!!

I can identify a few problems I have: Namely, I'd rather like to find SOME sort of girlfriend/significant other/non-girlfriend friend/something animate to talk to/(failing that, a rock with a smiley face painted on it). I'm not sure to what extent my social isolation is self imposed! I did go to a Comics and Cartooning club meeting Monday, except... well, I don't read comics, I'm not particularly good at drawing normally, and like most clubs I've been to, it had the problem of spending 10 minutes doing stuff and 50 minutes not doing anything at all.

I also have to admit I don't really understand some of the neologisms these kids are using. Also these kids are probably older than me. Whatever.

I also got the impression that they... act rather much like internet people. I act like an internet person online, sure, but I don't take that offline. I generally avoid letting on that I'm a gamer, for instance! Anyway, it doesn't really matter how they act, I shouldn't let that bother me, and I should probably try to draw some comics even if I do suck at it (and am the only person there that's not an art major*)

Additionally, I'm not writing. I'm not coding. I'm not drawing. I have my plants, but it's not like that requires a lot of work (unless I want to get creative and start experimenting with grafts. Perhaps I shall order a big ol' bucket of Pereskiopsis and starting messing with that). I need to be doing work. I need to be making things. Nanowrimo is in november and that's my happiest time of the year. I don't write well, but when I write something that means something to me, it helps me sort of organize my mind?

* I can actually do oil paintings pretty well. Other than that, I have no artistic ability. So incongruous!
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o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`

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