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Author Topic: Worst. Date. Ever. (Bring your pee bottle)  (Read 12229 times)
Lard
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« on: December 19, 2009, 01:10:35 AM »

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=421311261&postcount=1
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kyuusei
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« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2009, 01:49:35 AM »

The pictures were a nice touch. :P
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Lucca
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« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2009, 02:09:01 AM »

I...just...

WOW.

There are no words for this guy. No words.
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Roger S. Huxley
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« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2009, 02:14:12 AM »

I... what the hell did I just saw?
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Hathen
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« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2009, 05:06:28 AM »

I liked how he put a little bit of red in the pictures. It reminds me of a story Logick once posted here about a guy posting a sign up in the restroom at his workplace after someone painted the place with his shit.
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Leo
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« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2009, 09:17:19 AM »

He should have gone to a public restroom before leaving with her to her place.
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Dincrest
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« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2009, 10:11:26 AM »

He should have gone to a public restroom before leaving with her to her place.

Exactly, but public toilets give him the heebie jeebies.  I know a lot of people like that.  There are people in my family who'll hold it till they get home because they get so freaked out about public toilets.  Of course, they don't carry pee bottles.  This guy seriously needs to see the good doctor at his campus counseling center about his social anxiety, because it's probably more crippling than he lets on.  Given that this is on a bodybuilding forum, he should probably ease up on the protein powder too since that that makes "bottom burbles" smell supremely bad.  (I occasionally use protein powder myself.)

And now the sadist in me is saying, "well, at least he wasn't completely hammered, or there'd be vomit in this toxic soup as well."  

I hope this numbskull at least had the decency to call the hazmat team to come clean up the poor girl's bathroom.  Hazmat team!

EDIT: And he wants to try to call her back when things "cool down"?!?!?!?!?!?!  Even a clueless 10 year old would know that's a futile effort.  

« Last Edit: December 19, 2009, 11:25:16 AM by Dincrest » Logged

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Leo
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« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2009, 10:21:31 AM »

Alternatively, he could have gone home, done his business, then go over to her place. Perhaps it would've been out of the way, but it would've prevented a worst-case scenario that ensued.
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Dincrest
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« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2009, 10:33:11 AM »

Agreed.  I doubt most people would balk at a "hey, think I could just drop by my dorm/room real quick?" followed by a realistic reason, especially since they were at an on-campus location.  Of course for someone with social anxiety, simply, "playin' it cool" is a Herculean challenge.

« Last Edit: December 19, 2009, 11:18:35 AM by Dincrest » Logged

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kyuusei
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« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2009, 11:05:37 AM »

Yeah, that or a time like this'd be a good reason to make an exception to their public restroom anxiety. Seriously,if it's that bad...
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Dincrest
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« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2009, 11:48:39 AM »

You know, I'll bet most of us have some sort of story like that from our college days.  I can't recall every toilet (or other place) I've ever puked in during all my drunken excursions in college, but I probably did puke in some girl's toilet at one point.  If a drunk girl pukes in a guy's toilet that's one thing, but a guy puking in a girl's toilet is perceived as more vile, ya know?

Uncle 'Crest has a story for you.  Okay, so my buddy invited this hot Indian girl he knew from MIT to hang out in NYC for a weekend.  So he, me, her, and this other girl went to the Bowery Ballroom.  Let's just say there was chemistry between me and the Indian girl.  Conversation was flowing like crazy and was so effortless.  And let me tell you, that's one of my biggest turn-ons when I can just talk to a girl for hours on end about nothing and everything.  

So later on she and I are are just chilling in my buddy's apartment at, like, 2 or 3AM watching cartoons when I excuse myself to use the bathroom.  I come out immediately saying, "bro, has the water level in your toilet always been this high?"  He dumbly says, "yyyeeeaaah" and walks in.  She ends up following and just as she yells, "DON'T FLUSH THAT TOILET!!!" he flushes it and floods the bathroom.  He's freaking out, yells, "Neal WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?!?!"  And I say, "I didn't do anything!!! I didn't even go!!!"  The girl is super calm and says, "do you have a plunger or know someone who does?  I'm good at unclogging toilets."  Luckily, a friend of his was still up and had a plunger.  I then said, "alright, I'll run back to my apartment and get some cleaning supplies since I have a ton, this guy has none, and someone's gotta clean up this mess... plus I still have to go."  

So it's 3AM on a Saturday night and this girl and I can't believe we're spending it unclogging a friend's toilet and cleaning up his bathroom.  That was one hell of a bonding experience.  

And what was my buddy doing this whole time?  He was on the phone!  Apparently, a gay friend of ours was hammered and trying to have phone sex with my buddy (who's straight but everyone thinks is gay) and he kept screaming, "I don't have time for this!  My toilet exploded!!"  Okay, my buddy did provide us candy every now and then while we were cleaning. 

Let me tell you, that girl was a total keeper.  Too bad she just completely disappeared off the face of this Earth, because dammit I really liked her.  
« Last Edit: December 19, 2009, 11:58:26 AM by Dincrest » Logged

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Aeolus
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« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2009, 12:13:59 PM »

Its about time we had another bodily function failure thread on this forum (perhaps we were a bit overdue).

However I'm all for gender equality and the next time someone feels the urge to make another one of these threads so I have to ask if it would be too much to ask for if one of you can find a story of a female making God cry next time?

Seriously, haven't we had enough stories of guys trying to weed themselves out of the gene-pool through self-mutilation? Because, I'm pretty sure this site has covered the gamut of every willful emasculation save for getting your junk caught in the kitchen sink's disposal mechanism.
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Ryos
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« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2009, 01:14:43 PM »

Well, that's one way to cut a relationship short.  I don't like using public toilets, but on the other hand when you have to go, you have to go. 
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SonicDeathMonkey
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« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2009, 04:00:40 PM »

I was literally laughing out loud for almost the entire duration of reading that. Most absurd thing ever.
I love how he points out his pee bottles as the one thing that would have saved the day, rather than the myriad wiser choices he could have
made throughout the entire date.
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Ashton
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« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2009, 11:53:01 PM »

This is why I invite dates to my place rather than the other way around. Much easier this way.
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