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Author Topic: Worst. Date. Ever. (Bring your pee bottle)  (Read 11953 times)
dalucifer0
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« Reply #15 on: December 20, 2009, 09:24:12 AM »

I was laughing, and then laughed harder when I read:
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The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve...
Then I lost it. Funny shit there.
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Dios GX
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« Reply #16 on: December 21, 2009, 01:31:49 PM »

This guy seriously needs to see the good doctor at his campus counseling center about his social anxiety, because it's probably more crippling than he lets on.
A person using body building to hide his inward feelings of worthlessness and social unacceptance? Neil, I dunno what backwater planet you grew up on bro, but here, we do––fuck
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« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2009, 02:17:30 PM »

I was laughing, and then laughed harder when I read:
Quote
The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve...
Then I lost it. Funny shit there.

...and this is why meatheads need to eat more vegetables and get more fiber in their diets. 

And Dios, I have nothing to say in response except for a Nelson Muntz "HA ha."  Probably inappropriate, but I'll do it anyway. 
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GrimReality
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« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2009, 03:12:46 PM »

Its about time we had another bodily function failure thread on this forum (perhaps we were a bit overdue).

However I'm all for gender equality and the next time someone feels the urge to make another one of these threads so I have to ask if it would be too much to ask for if one of you can find a story of a female making God cry next time?

Seriously, haven't we had enough stories of guys trying to weed themselves out of the gene-pool through self-mutilation? Because, I'm pretty sure this site has covered the gamut of every willful emasculation save for getting your junk caught in the kitchen sink's disposal mechanism.

I'd really rather not hear about any females having such mishaps. In my delusional world, women are not capable of such things.
Cinnamon and spice, and everything nice, ya know?
; - )
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Lucca
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« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2009, 04:16:33 PM »


I'd really rather not hear about any females having such mishaps. In my delusional world, women are not capable of such things.
Cinnamon and spice, and everything nice, ya know?
; - )


NEWSFLASH: Women pee and poop and fart.

I RUINED YOUR FANTASY. I'm such a ho. :|
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CastNuri
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« Reply #20 on: December 21, 2009, 04:19:11 PM »


I'd really rather not hear about any females having such mishaps. In my delusional world, women are not capable of such things.
Cinnamon and spice, and everything nice, ya know?
; - )


NEWSFLASH: Women pee and poop and fart.

I RUINED YOUR FANTASY. I'm such a ho. :|

We also give birth, menstruate and wax our body hair. Nightmaaaare.
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« Reply #21 on: December 21, 2009, 04:47:00 PM »

Eh, guys wax their body hair too.  Or shave it.  Not all, but enough do.  I myself am a body groomer.  Body builders especially wax because being hairless and oiled allows muscles to show better. 

And for some reason, blood is seen as a less icky bodily fluid than urine and feces.  Like if you posed the question "would you rather drink a shot of someone else's blood or someone else's urine?" a lot of people would choose blood, yet there are probably more contaminants in that blood than in the urine, thus making the urine safer to drink.  Yet it's still ickier.   
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Serene Prophet
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« Reply #22 on: December 21, 2009, 07:07:03 PM »

Thats actually a great point Neal, now that I think about it.  I mean I honestly would choose Urine..just cause of all the shows ive seen where you do it if you cant find water..course I mean id choose neither..but sorry, I dont think im a vampire (and to clarify, I USED to know people who thought they were all vampire cause they liked the taste of their own blood and stuff...-_-) and honestly, you hear more about getting diseases from blood than urine.  Can you even get AIDS or Hepatitis from drinking someone elses piss?  Course now I realize were talking about drinking blood and piss..and I have become rather grossed out.

And yeah, I don't wax, but I do pluck, cause honestly..I don't think anyone finds a mono brow at all cool or attractive.
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Ryos
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« Reply #23 on: December 21, 2009, 09:18:54 PM »


I'd really rather not hear about any females having such mishaps. In my delusional world, women are not capable of such things.
Cinnamon and spice, and everything nice, ya know?
; - )


NEWSFLASH: Women pee and poop and fart.

I RUINED YOUR FANTASY. I'm such a ho. :|

We also give birth, menstruate and wax our body hair. Nightmaaaare.


OMG, it's like the skanky Book of Revelation!  How can reality not live up to the untarnished ideal?  DAMN DIRTY APES!
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Ashton
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« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2009, 11:35:23 PM »

Eh, guys wax their body hair too.  Or shave it.  Not all, but enough do.  I myself am a body groomer.  Body builders especially wax because being hairless and oiled allows muscles to show better. 

And for some reason, blood is seen as a less icky bodily fluid than urine and feces.  Like if you posed the question "would you rather drink a shot of someone else's blood or someone else's urine?" a lot of people would choose blood, yet there are probably more contaminants in that blood than in the urine, thus making the urine safer to drink.  Yet it's still ickier.   
Actually, in a completely healthy individual it's more likely that the blood will be healthier for drink since urine is just the body excreting waste products.
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Wild Armor
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« Reply #25 on: December 21, 2009, 11:52:51 PM »

Best read I had all month. This is why I am pro-pictures when I read. Hilarious.
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Dios GX
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« Reply #26 on: December 22, 2009, 12:55:41 AM »

Eh, guys wax their body hair too.  Or shave it.  Not all, but enough do.  I myself am a body groomer.  Body builders especially wax because being hairless and oiled allows muscles to show better. 

And for some reason, blood is seen as a less icky bodily fluid than urine and feces.  Like if you posed the question "would you rather drink a shot of someone else's blood or someone else's urine?" a lot of people would choose blood, yet there are probably more contaminants in that blood than in the urine, thus making the urine safer to drink.  Yet it's still ickier.   

Are you trying to say you have a golden shower kink or something brah?
I jest.

I also have to say, reading this story again, I notice his (pathetic) fallback of his "blankie" being piss bottles. I'll go on record and say I've had to piss in bottles in my room in the middle of the night, unable to get to a fucking toilet due to awesome diseases blah blah anyway --> his insistence of "this could have been averted IF––" followed by mention of his erection and all that. Now, I honestly feel myself to keep, my body at least, relatively clean. Is it such a psychotic idea to just lodge your dick into the bowl? Unless he's got a 12 incher or the toilet was the size of a chef boyardee can, I'd say he's unaware of the tens of thousands of layers of bacteria and filth that fester on his flesh 24 hours a day.

Fun fact: the bacteria from feces travels through ten ply of toilet paper in half of a second. I bet at least one person here is gonna start washing their hands a lot more thoroughly.
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Hathen
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« Reply #27 on: December 22, 2009, 07:00:29 AM »

I think people would be more willing to drink blood than urine because we've all tasted blood at some point, like when you're having a nosebleed or something. Go with the evil you know rather than the evil you don't, yeah?
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Dios GX
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« Reply #28 on: December 22, 2009, 09:53:51 AM »

Yeah but can you get AIDs by drinking a victim's urine, or would blood be the larger culprit if any? Also I agree with Hathen. We've all bit our lips, tongues, cheeks or somesuch. Likely sucked or clamped our front teeth on a wound/bite to drain it perhaps.

Like I said though, if you take the time to study just how much filth is on your person at any given time, you may freak out. Me, however? I view humanity in contrast to the majority of living sentient organisms on this planet, and I have to say we are pretty fucking huge. I think the fact we can tolerate such an inexhaustible amount of bacterial hellstorms should be taken into consideration more. Instead, some people think touching dirt or getting food grease on your hands from washing dishes is going to end their fucking lives. Waaaaaaahhh.
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GrimReality
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« Reply #29 on: December 22, 2009, 10:11:08 AM »


I'd really rather not hear about any females having such mishaps. In my delusional world, women are not capable of such things.
Cinnamon and spice, and everything nice, ya know?
; - )


NEWSFLASH: Women pee and poop and fart.

I RUINED YOUR FANTASY. I'm such a ho. :|

We also give birth, menstruate and wax our body hair. Nightmaaaare.


Not cool, ladies. Not cool AT ALL.

aka: *plugs fingers in ears* I'm not listening! La La la!
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