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Subject: 999 (Nintendo DS)
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Author Topic: Dead or Alive Paradise ESRB comments  (Read 760 times)
Ryos
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« on: February 04, 2010, 06:06:12 PM »

Quite possibly the best description ever?

Quote
"This is a video game in which users watch grown women dressed in G-string bikinis jiggle their breasts while on a two-week vacation. Women's breasts and butts will sway while playing volleyball, while hopping across cushions, while pole dancing, while posing on the ground, by the pool, on the beach, in front of the camera. There are other activities: Users can gamble inside a casino to win credits for shopping; they can purchase bathing suits, sunglasses, hats, clothing at an island shop; they can "gift" these items to eight other women in hopes of winning their friendship, in hopes of playing more volleyball. And as relationships blossom from the gift-giving and volleyball, users may get closer to the women, having earned their trust and confidence: users will then be prompted to zoom-in on their friends' nearly-naked bodies, snap dozens of photos, and view them in the hotel later that night. Parents and consumers should know that the game contains a fair amount of "cheesy," and at times, creepy voyeurism-especially when users have complete rotate-pan-zoom control; but the game also contains bizarre, misguided notions of what women really want (if given two weeks, paid vacation, island resort)-Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs."

I guess the ESRB replaced it with a slightly less provocative tirade, but joystiq delivers.  Had 0 interest in it, but after such, an, uh, interesting take on the contents that I can't help but have that whole stare at the car wreck look.
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« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2010, 07:51:16 PM »

I remember back when Dead or Alive was a fighting game, and a surprisingly good one at that.
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Serene Prophet
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« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2010, 08:37:11 PM »

LULZ to the ESRB rating, I loved that when I read it.  We need more of these.

And I have heard it was a good fighting game..but honestly ive never been much for them..mainly because the ones I tried I could never get good at :P

But hey, bouncing boobs sell, especially in japan :P
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« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2010, 02:04:49 AM »

Can't wait to see people marrying their PSPs for the DoA girls.
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SonicDeathMonkey
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« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2010, 02:29:53 PM »

Soul Calibur > DoA > all other 3D fighters (IMO). I know Virtua Fighter is supposedly good but I suck at it.

Sounds like whoever wrote that description was pretty offended by the game's existence. I think it's hilarious that Team Ninja makes these spinoffs. But on the other hand I think it's creepy that people actually buy them.
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