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Author Topic: Album Covers that SUCK, A Pictoral Journey  (Read 4039 times)
D-Rider
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« on: July 04, 2006, 12:22:32 AM »

Right, so I was talking with Dade just now about Manowar's shitty album covers.  I decided I needed to show him just how much they suck.  So here's the deal:  share some horrible cover art with the rest of us.  If it sucks, it has a home in this thread.

Now, like I said, Manowar.  I could go all fucking day with this, but I need sleep, so here's are a few choice selections:



This is apparently from a tribute album, so it technically shouldn't count, but fuck it.  It pretty much encapsulates what Manowar is about:  latent homosexuality.  Yeah, go ahead and gaze lustily at that massive phallic object, you barbaric brute you.  I'm particularly fond of the band around the arm, which brings to mind a herion addict trying to tie off his arm to find a vein.  God knows that shit is mandatory if you like Manowar.



An absolute classic, mocked by everyone for many years now.  I wish it were in a higher resolution so you could get a better view of all the sweat-glistened pectorals.  Other bands play, Manowar kills...dozens of wild animals to provide their fur panties.



ROAR, ME SMASH, WITH HEAD THROWN BACK AS IF IN ORGASM...which most of their fans probably are as they view this.  Not the worst image out there, but I chose this one because it had their dumbass song titles on it.  "The Gods Made Heavy Metal" alone is enough to make your cut your mullet and start listening to emo.

Okay ladies, this is officially a Image Allowed thread, because I don't want to click a bunch of fucking links.  Just make sure you have the pictures saved on your own damn webspace; no leeching.
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Losfer
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« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2006, 03:07:51 PM »

Yikes.



Behold the best band ever's worst album art work ever.  Now mind you, Dance of Death is a fucking amazing album capable of ass raping all of the Northern Hemisphere in one fell swoop, but one look at the fucking 3D "art" can make one imagine it being done by Ninth Grade students.  In 1996.



Gloriously large.

Glriously...  80's.

...I don't even know what is going on here.  Is this Dio showing himself off as a furry that drowns priests?  I certainly hope so.
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« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2006, 07:21:04 PM »

Worst album cover IMO is black album by Metallica.  It reeks of laziness.  I think that whole "blackness" dialogue from the movie Spinal Tap sums up the utter ridiculousness of it.
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« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2006, 11:01:30 PM »

Atreyu covers are the crappiest I've probably seen. :P

Oh, and um, Are You Dead Yet? from Children of Bodom had a horrific cover, too.
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« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2006, 04:49:24 PM »



That came immediately to mind.
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Dave
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« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2006, 07:40:16 PM »

Oh guys, guys, come on. You haven't even scratched the surface.


OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

WTF

OH GOD I HAVE HIS NAME

...


Oh yes. I went there.
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Dade
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« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2006, 08:15:09 PM »

I want to tear off their heads and punt them down the street.
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« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2006, 08:16:48 PM »

More:


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« Reply #8 on: July 05, 2006, 10:59:01 PM »



It makes you feel ill just looking at it :|



A) Icky
B) It reeks of 90's rockness.



This isn't really bad, but it's worth seeing.



Such a good album deserves much better art >:( Luckily the rerelease fixed the lameness.
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Dade
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« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2006, 03:44:35 AM »



The End.
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« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2006, 05:22:01 PM »

You mean BEST album cover ever. :P
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Losfer
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« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2006, 01:20:31 PM »

Dave wins the thread.
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