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Author Topic: So I've been trying internet dating  (Read 8102 times)
Dice
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« Reply #30 on: June 21, 2010, 10:56:32 AM »

That is when you escape through a bathroom window.

Dice.. don't give up online dating yet. If we leave the pages of our love unwritten, who will tell our stories?

Haha, one day Thoren..one day!!  I shall never give up.

Quote
IMO, dating is something you do AFTER you meet someone...

I'm inclined to agree; its one of the major fault to a more.... arranged online date (or match made, whatever).
I've always had the best luck meting people at friends' parties.  Since you have things in common with your buds, hopefully (and probably) you'll have something in common with friends' female friends!

....I also believe, as silly as it is, in the irony that looking for love turns up nothing.  The best meetings are usually a happy accident or just random.  Wait, go out, have fun, and something usually happens.
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Ashton
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« Reply #31 on: June 21, 2010, 11:41:52 AM »

Dates are just fine for finding relationships. Most of my relationships involve me flirting shamelessly then asking a girl out. It's worked well so far. I'm single right now, but don't knock the date routine. You just have to know what to do.

Ironically enough, the people who are satisfied or content with being single are those who have had enough time in a relationship to realize how being single isn't actually that bad. Sometimes having a significant other can be a real pain in the ass.
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Hathen
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« Reply #32 on: June 21, 2010, 02:08:04 PM »

I'm content with being single, and I've never had a "serious" relationship before. Just seems like more trouble than its worth, a whole lot of subterfuge and farting around when I can be off doing things I actually enjoy.
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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #33 on: June 21, 2010, 04:51:16 PM »

I want to date a crazy, maybe-a-little-dangerous, but fun and artsy sort of girl. We could go on adventures together and do wild things till I decide to break it off in favor of someone more stable, so that when I'm 40 I can wonder about what life could've been like if I hadn't settled down. Then, I'd strike out to see what happened to her, only to find out that her life had become just as boring as mine.

Or that she'd died or something, and wondered if maybe I could've saved her.

You know, like in the movies.
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Sagacious-T
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« Reply #34 on: June 21, 2010, 07:03:39 PM »

What would be your reaction if:

A girl told you she was into BDSM
A girl told you she was into BDSM but on the dominant side
A girl told you she has daddy issues.. in bed
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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #35 on: June 21, 2010, 08:56:16 PM »

What would be your reaction if:

A girl told you she was into BDSM
A girl told you she was into BDSM but on the dominant side
A girl told you she has daddy issues.. in bed

Flatbed truck and a bottle of 'ludes.
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o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`

Akanbe-
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« Reply #36 on: June 21, 2010, 09:33:43 PM »

Blah I hate internet dating. 

You spend weeks talking to the person online.  You run out of material to talk about after 2 weeks.  You meet.  No spark.  Time/money wasted.

I don't like it.
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Adapheon
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« Reply #37 on: June 22, 2010, 12:07:56 AM »

What would be your reaction if:

A girl told you she was into BDSM
A girl told you she was into BDSM but on the dominant side
A girl told you she has daddy issues.. in bed

As long as everything happened at her place so she could never find me again I'd probably be down for that.
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Kevadu
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« Reply #38 on: June 22, 2010, 08:40:50 AM »

I've had just about enough of this "don't look, just let it happen" bullshit.  Giving that kind of advice is irresponsible.  Maybe that did work for you...that just means you got lucky.  It's certainly not a guaranteed strategy.

I used to truly believe in that approach until I realized that I was almost 30 and hadn't had a single date in like 5 years.  It's not like I'm some kind of shut-in living in my parents basement, either.  I'm independent, intelligent, and successful.  I had plenty of friends and colleges, but zero romantic interests.

You are never going to find a partner if you don't meet people.  Not meeting people was my big problem...I work in a field that's 95% male and my hobbies tend to either be things that only interest males or...well, things like gaming, that are pretty much just a terrible way to meet anyone.  Screw that.

Online dating is a perfectly reasonable way to meet people.  People who are also single, in the right age range, and of the appropriate gender, even.  Just don't expect more out of it than that.  Some people get too attached before actually meeting the person and try to imagine a connection that isn't there.  That's dumb.  Try to meet in person early and often.  See how things go.  If it turns out you don't like that person (or that person doesn't like you) then let that be the end of it.  There shouldn't be any hard feelings at that point.  You literally just met each other.
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Starmongoose
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« Reply #39 on: June 22, 2010, 03:02:10 PM »

I met my partner online and we just recently got married.

First person I even met online, so I dunno if I just got lucky. *Shrugs*
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« Reply #40 on: June 22, 2010, 03:16:28 PM »

I don't think the "it'll find you" is total BS. It requires a certain degree of luck, though, yes.

I kind of agree with the the finding potential partners through friends philosophy. Seems logical enough.

Doesn't help though, ever since I got out of High School (... 6 years ago), I've been a loner. My friends from there left (and another 2 never called/answered calls or anything) so that ended. And in college I ran into the same problem time and time again. Every person I started to talk with had a tightly knit social circle already (through texts/phone/hangouts) and I could never get through that, and they always kinda stared at me so I really felt unwelcome all of the time. So I went through those years by myself.

Have a (temp) job now, and it's more of the same. Still the loner.

I've kinda given up on dating really, because of two bad experiences (somewhat harsh rejections) and the fact that I'm heavily introverted (every personality test I've taken in HS and college always results in INTJ) and pretty uninteresting, so I got nothing to offer anyone :P oh well.

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I graduated from a class of 80-85 and 15 or so already have kids. And I graduated high school in 2008.


It was the same when I graduated in 2004. Not sure why they are in such a rush to do that with their lives...
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Uru
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« Reply #41 on: June 22, 2010, 04:02:19 PM »


Quote
I graduated from a class of 80-85 and 15 or so already have kids. And I graduated high school in 2008.


It was the same when I graduated in 2004. Not sure why they are in such a rush to do that with their lives...

I dont think its a rush to do something with their lives, but rather a rush to not have to do something with their lives. I see having kids to be something you do once you are done being selfish in life. Its a return to structure in our lives, so maybe the "real" world is scary enough to make these kids crave some structure so they have kids?

Im an INTJ as well, but I still go out of my way to accommodate the majority of the population who dont enjoy being alone as much as we do.
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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #42 on: June 22, 2010, 04:50:16 PM »

I just got INTP. Whatever. These things are bullshit :( They never consider WHY you do things. Yes, I spend a lot of time alone, but that doesn't mean I seek fulfillment internally. I'm not particularly introverted or extroverted. I'd LOVE to have people with me when I take my 14 mile hikes to the middle of nowhere, but I mean, finding other people that wanted to do shit like that in BG was impossible.
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Dincrest
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« Reply #43 on: June 22, 2010, 04:58:09 PM »

There was a time when seeing a matchmaker or doing online dating was seen as desperate and pathetic thing to do.  However, with everyone leading busier lives and being wired in as much as we are, there seems to be less of a stigma attached to dating services.  Of course, I'm still part of the old-fashioned generation who would rather not seek a matchmaker because then it feels like I'm incapable of doing something basic humans do (namely forge interpersonal relationships), ya know?  

EDIT: And no matter where you go, there are always crazies and toolbags out there.  Whether you meet someone at a real or online hangout spot, it's still a crapshoot.  Meeting someone at a bar or nightclub is pretty much as random as meeting someone online, is it not?  Hell, I'm sure many of us have been with girls (or boys) who seemed perfectly normal at first but a little down the road in the relationship, they turned out to be bonkers, and not in a good way.  My most psycho ex was a sweetheart during the initial stages.  

Hardest thing for me's always been being stuck in the friend zone.  I can never seem to break out of that.  Sure that's better than nothing, but it still sucks when it feels like I'm good enough to be her close friend but not good enough to be something more.  Makes no damn sense.  
« Last Edit: June 22, 2010, 05:10:12 PM by Dincrest » Logged

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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #44 on: June 22, 2010, 07:10:13 PM »

It's harder to meet people when social networking makes it really easy to pick your friends. And how in the world do you date some when you reduce yourself and them as well to a laundry list of interests and beliefs and images?
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o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`

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