I don't know how to approach this. I can KIND OF speak to her in casual conversation, as I asked her about her leaving to join the military, and the three of us (her, me, and my sister) were all bullshitting in general, but I can't say anything that matters to her, such as "I like you" or "You're beautiful" or even something as silly as "What kind of movies do you like?". I'm trying to be intelligent about why I can't just ask her out or something, but it defaults to a simple reason. Not shyness or self esteem...entirely. Hell even rejection isn't that horrifying.
What if she says yes to a date and I screw it up, or we just don't click, or something equally horrible? I can deal with being shut down, anger and rage are sort of bedfellows in my life. But embarassment, incompetence, worst of all the thought of blowing my only shot with her...it is making me feel queezy just typing it here. I know if I said hey, lets go see a movie when you come back, she'd say sure. But I desperately don't want it to fail, enough so that I'll let this feeling of desire linger til I'm more confident with myself and what I can offer as a guy.
Dice, you're a girl (most of the time), would something like this make you feel awkward, being the subject of one's infatuation?