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Author Topic: What's the haps?  (Read 596343 times)
Ashton
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« Reply #9090 on: March 29, 2013, 11:38:39 PM »

« Last Edit: March 29, 2013, 11:50:57 PM by Ashton » Logged

Dice
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« Reply #9091 on: March 29, 2013, 11:44:29 PM »

She has decided to go back to her ex. Once more I find myself alone. Good times.

This is why I no longer try to have relationships anymore.

Oh BOOO HOOOO (to Ashton more; sorry to hear Dagger).  Just wait for it and pursue when it happens.  Waiting for one good thing is better than 20 half-assed things (unless you're going into that....for "one night").
Life's too short to pine on one bimbo (try to lead by my example: the longest I've been saddest about an ex is a few days; afterwards it's replaced healthily with a "wtf was I thinking? I"M SINGLE AGAIN BABY!!!!")


Oddly enough, I'm more apprehensive for friendships, I feel like good versions of those are a harder find and I'm terrible with them.  I feel like even IF I met Yodes and Mongoosey and Kevadu, and Agent, and ANYONE, they'd start to hate me shortly after....like many others have.
One of by old best buddies was recently making plans with someone else...in front of me... o_o  Yaaaay.

I wish Dice or Akanbe would come over and help me out with this 30pack of beer and stupid collection of ps1/n64 games

Honestly, I'm "this close" ( |---| ) to just dropping out of life for one year and getting the fuck out.  Maybe Chicago, but maybe Scotland and fulfill my lifelong desire to meet some mythological creatures.
I feel like all I have right now are the few people in my life who make it good, money, freetime, health, happiness are all sauntering downwards.
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Ashton
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« Reply #9092 on: March 29, 2013, 11:50:46 PM »

She has decided to go back to her ex. Once more I find myself alone. Good times.

This is why I no longer try to have relationships anymore.

Oh BOOO HOOOO (to Ashton more; sorry to hear Dagger).  Just wait for it and pursue when it happens.  Waiting for one good thing is better than 20 half-assed things (unless you're going into that....for "one night").
It's easier for a girl to get back in the dating scene, honestly. Sounds sexist, but it's true. :P

Besides, the long-term relationships I've been in have all been abusive and negative for me (with the added fun of being told I "deserved it" after the fact by various other women), so I really am not eager to go into another one just for the opportunity to let another woman abuse and mistreat me because they want to lord their power over me.

By comparison short term stuff have worked out for me much better; no demands, no abuse, nobody telling me I'm a horrible person for leaving an "obviously stressed out girl," just enjoyable, no strings attached fun times.
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« Reply #9093 on: March 29, 2013, 11:53:22 PM »

I'd probably like to chat IRL with anyone here that isn't some sort of shut in. Meeting new people is my jam, as long as they're friendly


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« Reply #9094 on: March 30, 2013, 12:17:04 AM »

She has decided to go back to her ex. Once more I find myself alone. Good times.

This is why I no longer try to have relationships anymore.

Oh BOOO HOOOO (to Ashton more; sorry to hear Dagger).  Just wait for it and pursue when it happens.  Waiting for one good thing is better than 20 half-assed things (unless you're going into that....for "one night").
It's easier for a girl to get back in the dating scene, honestly. Sounds sexist, but it's true. :P

Besides, the long-term relationships I've been in have all been abusive and negative for me (with the added fun of being told I "deserved it" after the fact by various other women), so I really am not eager to go into another one just for the opportunity to let another woman abuse and mistreat me because they want to lord their power over me.

By comparison short term stuff have worked out for me much better; no demands, no abuse, nobody telling me I'm a horrible person for leaving an "obviously stressed out girl," just enjoyable, no strings attached fun times.

2 Best Pieces of Dating Advice Ever:  Be confident. Play hard to get.
I don't care if everyone's heard it before. 

Sure -- all a girl has to do is "put-out", but I hate that excuse that it's easier for them -- it's only easier in that regard for sexual biz-nass.  Women want more than that (most of the time), and the majority of the time it's not as easy to get.  Furthermore, while it may be a "womanly fault", men sometimes make it too easy to get with them, they're too eager or whatever.  If you don't act confident, then at the very least, play hard to get.  If you feel rewarded by a challenge in videogames or tests or whatever, so too do girls love a bit of a trial to make their (i guess) deep feeling and efforts worth it.  Worst is the fuckers who flirt with you in a club -- you know what they're thinking, and you can be on that in a New York minute, but when it's that damned transparent, what's the point?  Sex is great, and if it is easier for a girl to get, then make it worth it in other ways in how you compose yourself, how you get along, and how you communicate.

You make it sound too often like we're not torn by whether a fella likes us or not (there's highschool in a nut shell right there), and quite often, they don't like you or are completely oblivious to it (or fucking Jacqueline already got there before you...GRR).  You make it sound like we're monsters ready to put our hands in your pocket than in your hand.

Not that I have any REAL know-how about what's going on with you or whats happened, but if I had to guess I think you've has some bad relationships (or the few that really got at you) and extrapolate that into a generality about women; but men can be just as shitty sometimes too.  I think you're doing a good thing now by just "little dates".  And I agree, short-term works, it did for me for a while, till I realized I used and could use the same lines and moves every damn date and decided to settle down and stop pursuing people I "liked" but one who "drove me nuts" (and, coincidentally, made it a pain in the ass to flirt with -- the sad story of me trying to get with my current boyfriend was me buying movie passes and writing my phone number on it when all else failed... ).

I'd probably like to chat IRL with anyone here that isn't some sort of shut in. Meeting new people is my jam, as long as they're friendly


Doomed from the start, we are.  I'm a bitchy shut-in who just complains about being hungry all the time. D:
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« Reply #9095 on: March 30, 2013, 12:23:31 AM »

My advice to all men: Be a man.
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« Reply #9096 on: March 30, 2013, 12:25:20 AM »

My advice to all men: Be a man.

My butt gets tingly for man-men.
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« Reply #9097 on: March 30, 2013, 12:33:56 AM »

2 Best Pieces of Dating Advice Ever:  Be confident. Play hard to get.
I don't care if everyone's heard it before.  

I'm honestly one of the more confident people IRL, my friends can attest to this. I just don't want to bother with long term relationships because I don't think they're worth my time anymore.

Sure -- all a girl has to do is "put-out", but I hate that excuse that it's easier for them -- it's only easier in that regard for sexual biz-nass.  Women want more than that (most of the time), and the majority of the time it's not as easy to get.  Furthermore, while it may be a "womanly fault", men sometimes make it too easy to get with them, they're too eager or whatever.  If you don't act confident, then at the very least, play hard to get.  If you feel rewarded by a challenge in videogames or tests or whatever, so too do girls love a bit of a trial to make their (i guess) deep feeling and efforts worth it.  Worst is the fuckers who flirt with you in a club -- you know what they're thinking, and you can be on that in a New York minute, but when it's that damned transparent, what's the point?  Sex is great, and if it is easier for a girl to get, then make it worth it in other ways in how you compose yourself, how you get along, and how you communicate.

You make it sound too often like we're not torn by whether a fella likes us or not (there's highschool in a nut shell right there), and quite often, they don't like you or are completely oblivious to it (or fucking Jacqueline already got there before you...GRR).  You make it sound like we're monsters ready to put our hands in your pocket than in your hand.

It's not really about sex. To put everything into perspective, on any dating site it's much easier to elicit a response if you're a woman than if you're a man (unless you are a mess, in which case you've got bigger problems). The process of getting someone we really like may be the same difficulty for both men and women, but women at least have the benefit of choice. Women also aren't expected to spend money or do anything, really, unless they want to. Meanwhile, men are expected to make the moves, spend the money, etc., and a woman is fully within her rights to take him to the cleaners or ignore him or waste his time (as it is with Dagg) if she wants to.

And you yourself may not be that type of person, but the type of people I've had relationships with have done everything to foment the notion you speak of. Having dealt with people so much I've gotten very good at reading them, and I've seen all too often the tonal and attitude change when a girl finds out I'm a doctor in training. I am actively disgusted by this. I never see this type of tonal change in any of my friends.

Not that I have any REAL know-how about what's going on with you or whats happened, but if I had to guess I think you've has some bad relationships (or the few that really got at you) and extrapolate that into a generality about women; but men can be just as shitty sometimes too.  I think you're doing a good thing now by just "little dates".  And I agree, short-term works, it did for me for a while, till I realized I used and could use the same lines and moves every damn date and decided to settle down and stop pursuing people I "liked" but one who "drove me nuts" (and, coincidentally, made it a pain in the ass to flirt with -- the sad story of me trying to get with my current boyfriend was me buying movie passes and writing my phone number on it when all else failed... ).
Not really generalizing, and this comparison may sound offensive, but while many (even most) dogs can be gentle and caring, if you've been bitten by a lot of them you would be very VERY wary about petting any more dogs. And I'm not talking about general mistreatment, I'm talking about actual, full-on abuse (whether emotional or physical), which has happened in all of my long term relationships. I'm talking frying pan in the head (you're allowed an obligatory chuckle, but a concussion is no laughing matter), cigarette butts in the back, tantrums and/or telling me I'm a rapist because I don't do/buy/say what they want (consequently I have put in contingencies to neutralize this type of threat since then), etc. It may be unfair and incredibly blanketing to say that all women are like this, but when I am 0 for 5 in terms of long-term relationships where the other party actually treats me like a human being, I am seriously reconsidering whether women are commitment compatible or not.

Consider this: I am fairly attractive for a guy (I'm not vain enough to think I'm super hot but I'm at least above average), I have a decent job/education, I treat people with respect and courtesy, and my expectations are only that people treat me like a person - that's pretty low hanging fruit. The fact that I am consistently disappointed despite my rather low standards is indicative of deeper problem, and the fact that I am blamed for this on a regular basis has become tiring.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2013, 12:48:13 AM by Ashton » Logged

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« Reply #9098 on: March 30, 2013, 12:37:14 AM »

Quote
dropping out of life for one year and getting the fuck out.

I think I worked a grand total of 35 hours this week because my test lead kept telling me to quit testing and it's like, fuck it, you don't want me working, I'm going home.

I'm also trying to induce panic attacks for /recreational purposes/. My other hobby is becoming overly emotionally involved in things I don't actually care about just so I can monitor my reaction.

I could really go with dropping off the face of the earth for a year.

Also I used to think that fybromyalgia wasn't real but now I wonder if it's like a subset of benign fasciculation syndrome.

Also back when I was in college I remember writing a pro-men's right movement essay, 'cause I thought the men's rights movement was /against/ traditional male gender roles. WHOOPS.
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« Reply #9099 on: March 30, 2013, 01:31:12 AM »

I gotta argue this "Be a man" logic for one reason. Men come in many varieties, including stoic, chivalrous, tough, charming, sensitive, rough, smooth.....the list goes on. I consider myself a man. I pay bills, do my own laundry, cook my own food, shave, and drink alcohol. I'm not sure how that would translate to hooking up though. And not for nothing, I'm fairly manly in terms of being big and intimidating, and I'm pretty certain most people don't think "that's a guy I'd like to punk and make my bitch" when they look at me. Is this what women want when they see a guy at a bar?
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« Reply #9100 on: March 30, 2013, 01:34:57 AM »

My level of eye-rolling is getting too intense. I'm going to bed.
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« Reply #9101 on: March 30, 2013, 01:43:39 AM »

I gotta argue this "Be a man" logic for one reason. Men come in many varieties, including stoic, chivalrous, tough, charming, sensitive, rough, smooth.....the list goes on. I consider myself a man. I pay bills, do my own laundry, cook my own food, shave, and drink alcohol. I'm not sure how that would translate to hooking up though. And not for nothing, I'm fairly manly in terms of being big and intimidating, and I'm pretty certain most people don't think "that's a guy I'd like to punk and make my bitch" when they look at me. Is this what women want when they see a guy at a bar?

You're not listening.
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« Reply #9102 on: March 30, 2013, 02:24:51 AM »

Nah, I just hate that statement of "Be a man", so I made a bad joke. But seriously, it's an unfair statement. Your approach works for you, but I can't walk into a bar or club and use your technique, it wouldn't work for me. It's not because you're more of a man, but because we're different men. 

Just putting that out there.
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« Reply #9103 on: March 30, 2013, 02:36:46 AM »

Actually, it does help to be a bit "androgynous" in how you generally behave and compose yourself.  Being 100% man and 100% woman is a sort-of ideal that no one should fall into completely.

Quote
dropping out of life for one year and getting the fuck out.

I think I worked a grand total of 35 hours this week because my test lead kept telling me to quit testing and it's like, fuck it, you don't want me working, I'm going home.

I could really go with dropping off the face of the earth for a year.

Also I used to think that fybromyalgia wasn't real but now I wonder if it's like a subset of benign fasciculation syndrome.

Also back when I was in college I remember writing a pro-men's right movement essay, 'cause I thought the men's rights movement was /against/ traditional male gender roles. WHOOPS.

I think fybromyalgia is fake in so far my mum overplays hers, or rather, doesn't really try to make any efforts besides "sleeping it off"...all...day...long.

I'm surprised you thought that with regards to male gender roles.  It's kinda funny, one of those fun things to look back it.

My level of eye-rolling is getting too intense. I'm going to bed.

I can only imagine what part (I'm even throwing in my responses here -- but man I hate railing on any sex/race/whatever without knowing people come in all colours -- bright and wonderful and shitty and puke-y).

Ashton:  Stop getting into shitty relationships, if ladies do that kind of shit to you, you W-A-L-K.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2013, 02:42:16 AM by Dice » Logged

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« Reply #9104 on: March 30, 2013, 02:51:08 AM »

Ever have someone threaten to accuse you of rape and/or abuse if you want to break up with them? Yeah.

There's a very good reason most of the time I don't talk about this stuff, because people go judgmental on me, with the eye rollings and the boo hoos and the be a mans. It sure sounds easy when you have the benefit of third party objectivity and not being in a shitty relationship, but then, if I were a woman, would I be getting the same eye rollings, boo hoos, and be a (wo)mans? I doubt it. This inequity has bothered me for some time now, especially when people have told me to 'get real problems,' and 'check my privilege' (??!?).

I'm not saying one gender or race or whatevs is all this or all that, I'm well aware of the fact that there exist perfectly normal, decent women who would treat others like human beings. However, I've never had a relationship with one of these women and I am not going to chance another abusive relationship just because people keep telling me there are better things out there when I just keep getting the short end of the stick. Seriously, it's been 15 years.
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