What's the haps?

[MeshGearFox]

I'm surprised you thought that with regards to male gender roles.  It's kinda funny, one of those fun things to look back it.

Well, my line of logic was like, feminism had this huge component of getting away from traditional female gender roles -- or rather, the barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen variety, at least. So by that token I figured men's rights would be about moving away from machismo and the hyper-masculine, bad-caretaker, stupid salaryman stereotypes you see on TV, and would be all MEN SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO ACT AS GIRLY AS THEY WANT.

Turns out nope!

I can only imagine what part (I'm even throwing in my responses here -- but man I hate railing on any sex/race/whatever without knowing people come in all colours -- bright and wonderful and shitty and puke-y).

The easiest way to avoid racism is just to hate all races equally, including your own! You're still a misanthropic douchebag, but you're not a RACIST misanthropic douchebag!

...

I'm going to go draw horse porn in mspaint and drink myself to sleep.

[Yoda]

Nah, I just hate that statement of "Be a man", so I made a bad joke. But seriously, it's an unfair statement. Your approach works for you, but I can't walk into a bar or club and use your technique, it wouldn't work for me. It's not because you're more of a man, but because we're different men. 

Just putting that out there.

Still not listening.

Who said I did any of that anyway?

[Aurian]

There are people out there who are out for themselves and don't care about hurting other people if it gets them their way. And there are people out there who want to make both persons in the relationship happy and support each other in the downs and cheer each other in the ups in this thing called life.

Yeah, I guess its harder for a guy when the girl is the abusive one. Women get support, people know about abusive men, but for some reason, abusive women aren't seen to be as scary by third parties. BS though - men are more likely to do physical abuse but its the mental and emotional abuse that is harder to spot and harder to recover from.

[Dice]

Ever have someone threaten to accuse you of rape and/or abuse if you want to break up with them? Yeah.

That's inexcusable.  If anything, I'm blaming you for (I assume) *not* leaving that kind of situation or calling the police if that kind of stuff escalated... no one should behave that way, and if she tried anything, you should get police involved if she did anything so severe.  If I'm rolling my eyes it's because I wouldn't put up with that.

There's a very good reason most of the time I don't talk about this stuff, because people go judgmental on me, with the eye rollings and the boo hoos and the be a mans. It sure sounds easy when you have the benefit of third party objectivity and not being in a shitty relationship, but then, if I were a woman, would I be getting the same eye rollings, boo hoos, and be a (wo)mans? I doubt it. This inequity has bothered me for some time now, especially when people have told me to 'get real problems,' and 'check my privilege' (??!?).

I'd be saying the same thing to either sex.  I think a man and woman would be stupid to stay in a one-sided relationship.  You keep talking about "woman advantages" usually in terms of "men's privileges", and it's annoying and way too vague.  What advantages?  I ackowledge a middle-road in there somewhere, but socially men are doing terribly well compared to women (physical upkeep is more extensive for women, men are the bigger sports stars world-wide, men usually procure better and better paying jobs, women are still seen as promiscuous if she tries sleeping around, men are considered just players, women are still bogged down with more household responsibilities usually only levied if she can meet a man's social/job standing).  Unless you're talking about how easy it is for a woman to "hook up" sexually, I don't know what you mean (I agree, she probably just has to announce she wants sex).  But if you're just talking about them being able to like someone, then believe me, I've talked to enough love-torn women asking if he "loves me/love's me not)".

I'm not saying one gender or race or whatevs is all this or all that, I'm well aware of the fact that there exist perfectly normal, decent women who would treat others like human beings. However, I've never had a relationship with one of these women and I am not going to chance another abusive relationship just because people keep telling me there are better things out there when I just keep getting the short end of the stick. Seriously, it's been 15 years.

I'm taking on some of Yoda's vague and somewhat bad advice here, but you've gotta man up a bit if women or even people are taking advantage of you; if this keeps happening (for 15 years?!) you gotta make sure they don't see you as a chump.  

My advice to all men: Be a man.

Nah, I just hate that statement of "Be a man", so I made a bad joke. But seriously, it's an unfair statement. Your approach works for you, but I can't walk into a bar or club and use your technique, it wouldn't work for me. It's not because you're more of a man, but because we're different men.  

Just putting that out there.

Still not listening.

Who said I did any of that anyway?

To Agent's defence, I didn't really get where you were going with that either.

[Starmongoose]

I was mostly eye-rolling at Agent. D's What Women Want-esque dilemma, and the fibromyalgia is fake thing.

I think your love-life is tragic, Ash. :( I'm sorry your experiences have been so horrid. (I still don't agree that women have it easier in dating though. Easier to get a man, sure, lots of men are over-eager to be with a woman, any woman, but finding a man that is right for you is just as difficult. You just sound a bit jaded there.)

[Ashton]

That's inexcusable.  If anything, I'm blaming you for (I assume) *not* leaving that kind of situation or calling the police if that kind of stuff escalated... no one should behave that way, and if she tried anything, you should get police involved if she did anything so severe.  If I'm rolling my eyes it's because I wouldn't put up with that.

You seem to have some misconceptions about the social and legal method to which these situations are handled. That's okay, I used to as well, until it happened to me.

Generally speaking, most of the onus is placed on the man when things like abuse is brought up. People take women at their word because there's this prevalence of opinion in society that women are always the victim and men always the aggressor. One only has to look at certain laws put in place in the U.S. to understand this. It didn't help that I look large and mean relative to my girlfriends in the past. The fact that afterwards I was browbeaten and harassed by other people for finally leaving is proof enough of this.

Believe me, getting the police involved would have been a mistake.

I'd be saying the same thing to either sex.  I think a man and woman would be stupid to stay in a one-sided relationship.  You keep talking about "woman advantages" usually in terms of "men's privileges", and it's annoying and way too vague.  What advantages?  I ackowledge a middle-road in there somewhere, but socially men are doing terribly well compared to women (physical upkeep is more extensive for women, men are the bigger sports stars world-wide, men usually procure better and better paying jobs, women are still seen as promiscuous if she tries sleeping around, men are considered just players, women are still bogged down with more household responsibilities usually only levied if she can meet a man's social/job standing).  Unless you're talking about how easy it is for a woman to "hook up" sexually, I don't know what you mean (I agree, she probably just has to announce she wants sex).  But if you're just talking about them being able to like someone, then believe me, I've talked to enough love-torn women asking if he "loves me/love's me not)".

I was talking more a relationship setting, and the whole privilege thing was about whenever I brought it up people attack me over the presumed advantages I have just by being a man and told me I should get real problems before complaining and to check my privilege. Believe me, I heard the "boo hoo hoo I'm a man and I have so many problems" line uttered by ivory tower assholes who have never had a problem in their lives so many times that it's pretty old hat to me now.

Like I said, it's just as tough for both men and women to be with someone they like, that is true. But again, women have an easier time getting dates, period. Women also have little societal pressure to do 'the right thing.' Example: if a woman wastes a man's time by not picking up or responding to his calls and stuff, it's okay. If a man does the same he's considered an asshole, if a woman rejects a man due to superficial reasons she knows what she wants, if a man does the same he's a pig. In terms of sexual judgment men do have less of a social stigma when they have lots of partners, but I was referring to the social aspect of relationships.

I'm taking on some of Yoda's vague and somewhat bad advice here, but you've gotta man up a bit if women or even people are taking advantage of you; if this keeps happening (for 15 years?!) you gotta make sure they don't see you as a chump.  

It's not about being a chump. It's about how people have progressed to being socially irresponsible to the point that even my low standards are being constantly disappointed. Social responsibility is not high on the list of anyone these days, and while it might be true for men as well as women, I am not seeking long term relationships with men.

Telling me to man up in a situation where manning up would do nothing is just indicative of your inability to realize the severity and gravity of the situations I've been in. How is it at all my fault when others take advantage of social and legal expectations to trap, coerce, and threaten me? Or being browbeaten and harassed even more after the relationships actually end? Maybe the problem is less with me needing to man up and more with women needing to take some responsibility instead of demanding a cushy life from their boyfriends. But then, I'd be a pig for saying that.

I was mostly eye-rolling at Agent. D's What Women Want-esque dilemma, and the fibromyalgia is fake thing.

I think your love-life is tragic, Ash. :( I'm sorry your experiences have been so horrid. (I still don't agree that women have it easier in dating though. Easier to get a man, sure, lots of men are over-eager to be with a woman, any woman, but finding a man that is right for you is just as difficult. You just sound a bit jaded there.)

Which I acknowledge, finding a person that is right is hard for both genders. But as you say, it's much easier for a woman to get a man than it is for a man to get a woman.

And yeah, I'm jaded. Very much so. Wouldn't you be, if you were in my shoes?

[Bytor]

"Never judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes" seems to be an apt phrase here. Relationships are seldom the same for any two people and I, for one, try not to judge even my best friends relationships, it seldom turns out good for any of us, even if I am trying to be helpful. Honestly is sometimes about the persons perception. Hope that makes sense. On a happier note for me after putting in 72 hours this week I am off ALL weekend, yeah me!

[Agent D.]

Got a major install next week, so my gym visits will be sparce, probably gonna head out there in a few minutes today actually. Turns out what I thought was a pinched nerve in my back wasn't, but I'm still unsure of what it was exactly. Hurt like a MOTHER FUCKER, so much so that I took some vicodin to help deal with it. All I know is I am never following chest workouts with shoulder workouts.

I swear I will hit 315 on the bench by my birthday!

[Dice]

"Never judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes" seems to be an apt phrase here. Relationships are seldom the same for any two people and I, for one, try not to judge even my best friends relationships, it seldom turns out good for any of us, even if I am trying to be helpful. Honestly is sometimes about the persons perception. Hope that makes sense. On a happier note for me after putting in 72 hours this week I am off ALL weekend, yeah me!

I don't think there's any doubt about Ashton's "bumpy" (for lack of better words) love-life, the dispute is against "women having an easier time getting men".  Which I say is false unless we're talking about sexual gratification -- not actual "relationships", and constantly bringing "woman's advantages".  Also, Ashton, Canadian law is somewhat more critical in regards to uttering threats against someone (not regards to making an arrest, but getting cops to at least mediate the situation or what have you -- and in which case, I see nothing wrong with leaving someone who makes a threat).

Anyways.  Women are she-devils.  I'm moving on.

Lots of work to do today, but I began the morning with sunlight shining into the bathroom as I shower and washed my hair with a lovely peppermint shampoo-poo. :D
It was perfect.

[Starmongoose]

It has come to my attention that using an electric cooker is painfully slow when you are used to gas.

[MeshGearFox]

Walked like 20 miles today. Went to Katzinger's Deli. Had a gruyere, onion, and spicy mustard sandwich. Got absinthe ice cream for dessert. Followed that with a kombucha.

Yeah that'll make you puke.

[Dice]

I've been bringing in some of the worst numbers at work lately.... I used to be the best (till they told me I was the best...goddamn jinx!!)

Then I come home to see I am missing two invites to party and have some fun.

Now I am copying notes from a textbook.

I was feeling poopy till my puppy barged in and said "what up" in her doggy eyes.

Me

[Desert Walker]

^

In conclusion, pets are awesome.

[Aurian]

Walked like 20 miles today. Went to Katzinger's Deli. Had a gruyere, onion, and spicy mustard sandwich. Got absinthe ice cream for dessert. Followed that with a kombucha.

Yeah that'll make you puke.

I feel sick just reading that.

I've been bringing in some of the worst numbers at work lately.... I used to be the best (till they told me I was the best...goddamn jinx!!)

Then I come home to see I am missing two invites to party and have some fun.

Now I am copying notes from a textbook.

I was feeling poopy till my puppy barged in and said "what up" in her doggy eyes.

Me

Yeah, I've been the same way. The Bank is audit obsessed and one typo meant my numbers plummeted like a rock. The worst part is that the bad numbers stay on your record for the year so I'll be at the bottom of the rankings until someone else screws up. The sad part is, that this doesn't show all of the good stuff I go out of my way to do, so it just feels like a screw you each month when they post the rankings.

I need a puppy to cuddle.

[Klyde Chroma]

It has come to my attention that using an electric cooker is painfully slow when you are used to gas.

I have had my own house for about 3-4 years now with a huge kitchen. A nice large stove thingy built into my counter-top and an oven that is built into the wall. It looks pretty cool actually... And yet, with all these fancy devices that came with the homestead I use 3 microwaves I have plugged in at the same time!!! (LoL) I have become a master of the microwave!!!!! With my 3 micro-combo-cooking-system I can cook enough for a weeks worth of meals in under an hour with minimal effort using disposable cookware (zero clean-up).