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Author Topic: What's the haps?  (Read 587376 times)
Dice
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« Reply #9705 on: June 17, 2013, 08:05:15 PM »

I don't like badmouthing someone for doing a favor for me if they screw it up, but in a case where they are not sure of how to do said favor, they should just politely decline.

I feel the same, but like I said, I hate a blatant waste of anything if it's easily avoidable (and in which case, I gave her *three* different forms of help, the final one being was to *call* if there were any issues, so I don't know what the problem was).  Also, printing powerpoint slides when you already work with computers all day shouldn't be rocket science so I didn't feel like I was over-stepping my bounds.  I also don't like being treated like I'm in the wrong when I ask a simple favor.  Like you said, politely decline and tell me to do it at Kinkos, I'd have had no problem with finding alternate means of getting this done when Plan A falls through.

Quite frankly, I was trying to help. As opposed to printing 50 pages (and maybe printing non-work material that her work might not exactly approve of in that off-chance they found out), I said "6 slides per page", which makes 50 pages into only about 8.

I'm also mostly upset because this happens. every. single. time.  Like I said before, our bathroom has scum, dust, and dead bugs and yet I still get my mom fuming for trying to clean up.  A month ago when I had to clean the infection for my ingrown toenail, dear ol' mum offers a bucket with dust, dog hair, and dead spiders in it to wash my foot in (ignoring, of course, the ten other buckets throughout the house that we can use).
Her fucking sass, contentment with living in a dirty fucking house, and inability to do almost anything sickens the hell out of me.

Parent stuff.

My parents are a lot more prone to pitch stuff that's not in perfect condition than I am. I mean, I prefer to use stuff till it breaks, and if something can be repaired, I'd rather repair it than get a new one.

I don't know maybe it's generational. Maybe people that were born in the 50s are just more apathetic about wasting stuff.

... Assuming Dice's parents were born in the 50's. I think my parents are probably older than the average parents of someone my age. Whup.

I have no problem with that mentality either, except when we have an EXCESS in these wares.  When we renovated our kitchen, the entire Eastern wall is literally a giant floor-to-ceiling cabinet that stretches almost the entire length of the kitchen save for where our phone is on one end, and where the kitchen lights are on the other; there's a TON of shelving space....  Guess how much counter space is STILL taken up??  We have an L-shaped prep area for cooking and preparing, but 90% of the time you still have to move something out of the way.

If she isn't already, she's a pack rat.

In fact, due to the stupid shit I could hear her complaining about me with earlier, I feel obliged to share a picture of a part of the master bedroom:
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 08:37:52 PM by Dice » Logged

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Ashton
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« Reply #9706 on: June 17, 2013, 08:07:40 PM »

Maybe you should move out?
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Dice
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« Reply #9707 on: June 17, 2013, 08:13:32 PM »


Given I'm fervently sell my wares on this forum and out, I'd be gone if I had the money.  The plan is to finish school (hopefully just one more year...or get hit by a bus trying) and get the hell out.  But it's more than that; the house is also an investment for my brother and I one day when (knock on wood) the parents go.  I hate that all of this money is put into renovating and getting a hot tub, and making a "home" but it's just treated like shit.  I *HAVE* to live here till I can finish school and get a job, money is too tight otherwise; but I do say I get upset when dead bugs are in the house till that day comes, and my dad, who is quite upset by the ordeal himself, and I have to live in it because she's too stubborn/lazy to do anything to help.

*sigh*, I realize people go through much, much worse, and I have no better option than deal with it... but I just needed to vent...
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« Reply #9708 on: June 17, 2013, 08:44:25 PM »

Speaking of needing to vent about parents, I'm really not sure what to do about my Dad right now. Apparently he was recently diagnosed with cancer. I found this out from my mom, who found out from my sister, who found out directly from him. Now he knows me and my sister don't talk much, and I've talked to him twice since I heard the news and he hasn't brought it up once.

This isn't anything new either. I almost always find out about my Dad's life through my sister. I can appreciate that parents can sometimes have a better relationship with one parent than the other, but to not have any kind of relationship at all with one just rubs me the wrong way.

I don't have a lot of respect for the man, he's constantly making bad decisions and is just so dense. But that doesn't mean I resent him or anything. I've always thought he was a fun dad even if he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my sister kept going to church while I wanted nothing to do with that after I grew up enough to not be dragged there. Which just makes me respect him even less (not because he's religious... but that he would judge me because I'm not.

I guess I'm just rambling looking for a reason why I'm not as worried about him as I probably should be.
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« Reply #9709 on: June 17, 2013, 09:08:52 PM »

Quote
I have no problem with that mentality either, except when we have an EXCESS in these wares.

The waste comment was actually in reference to the paper thing. I feel like people from that generation are apathetic about conserving replaceable/consumable goods.

... Although the ambivalence towards wasting paper is deeply fucking ironic considering the picture you posted.

I think imma go clean my apartment for a bit...
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Dice
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« Reply #9710 on: June 17, 2013, 09:33:45 PM »

Quote
I have no problem with that mentality either, except when we have an EXCESS in these wares.

The waste comment was actually in reference to the paper thing. I feel like people from that generation are apathetic about conserving replaceable/consumable goods.

... Although the ambivalence towards wasting paper is deeply fucking ironic considering the picture you posted.

I think imma go clean my apartment for a bit...

Please don't misunderstand, I got fed up with a mix of things.  Wasting paper is one thing, but also the fact I made instructions so easy, the fact I ask my mum a favor is generally a difficult thing to do, the fact I get little support from her at all.  This was also for her; I made those instructions because it would be easier for her to do it as well.

This paper thing sort of symbolically represents a lot of what's pissed me off about living with her for the past decade, and when I ask something simple it's still disregarded or made a waste of my time.  I've made a few posts about it here already, but there's a few times I've written a rant and just stopped because I figure "maybe I'm just upset" and "this will pass".  But again, ten years of it and reliably sitting on the couch for at LEAST four hours a day watching television than doing anything worth anything has made grow tired, annoyed, and lose my temper with it.

Speaking of needing to vent about parents, I'm really not sure what to do about my Dad right now. Apparently he was recently diagnosed with cancer. I found this out from my mom, who found out from my sister, who found out directly from him. Now he knows me and my sister don't talk much, and I've talked to him twice since I heard the news and he hasn't brought it up once.

This isn't anything new either. I almost always find out about my Dad's life through my sister. I can appreciate that parents can sometimes have a better relationship with one parent than the other, but to not have any kind of relationship at all with one just rubs me the wrong way.

I don't have a lot of respect for the man, he's constantly making bad decisions and is just so dense. But that doesn't mean I resent him or anything. I've always thought he was a fun dad even if he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my sister kept going to church while I wanted nothing to do with that after I grew up enough to not be dragged there. Which just makes me respect him even less (not because he's religious... but that he would judge me because I'm not.

I guess I'm just rambling looking for a reason why I'm not as worried about him as I probably should be.

I'm really sorry to hear.  I feel like I can somewhat relate in that I'm also the last family member to hear anything about anything, but I can't understand what it's like to have someone close diagnosed with a serious illness.  I send my best regards and condolences.  My brother seems to be the "go-to-guy" for whenever my family needs to talk about things, and it tends to be a social pattern in the family that just reifies itself too.  I got no wise words, but I sympathize to some extent and get it.
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« Reply #9711 on: June 17, 2013, 09:46:30 PM »

Speaking of needing to vent about parents, I'm really not sure what to do about my Dad right now. Apparently he was recently diagnosed with cancer. I found this out from my mom, who found out from my sister, who found out directly from him. Now he knows me and my sister don't talk much, and I've talked to him twice since I heard the news and he hasn't brought it up once.

This isn't anything new either. I almost always find out about my Dad's life through my sister. I can appreciate that parents can sometimes have a better relationship with one parent than the other, but to not have any kind of relationship at all with one just rubs me the wrong way.

I don't have a lot of respect for the man, he's constantly making bad decisions and is just so dense. But that doesn't mean I resent him or anything. I've always thought he was a fun dad even if he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my sister kept going to church while I wanted nothing to do with that after I grew up enough to not be dragged there. Which just makes me respect him even less (not because he's religious... but that he would judge me because I'm not.

I guess I'm just rambling looking for a reason why I'm not as worried about him as I probably should be.

My paternal grandfather stopped talking to me when I came out as gay when I was around 13, and I resented him for it up until the day he died of cancer when I was 17. I have a feeling near the end of his life he wanted to get to know me better but his pride or inability to get past the gay thing stopped him from ever making the effort to reconnect. I never made the effort either though, I still felt very angry due to the rejection and felt very numb regarding his illness and eventual death. Now that's he's dead and I'm older and worked through my emotions, i regret deeply leaving our business unfinished. If I could go back and do it again, I would at least try. That's my experience, take from it what you will!
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 10:08:20 PM by Starmongoose » Logged

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« Reply #9712 on: June 17, 2013, 10:05:55 PM »

Damn, Star. That's harsh. Sorry to hear about that experience.
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« Reply #9713 on: June 17, 2013, 10:19:38 PM »

That one hurt the most because I had a good relationship with him up to that point. I had a much worse experience with my mother's schizophrenic father, but I've never had any feelings of regret over that relationship dying that I've had with my dad's dad.

EDIT: In actual haps, I just found out they are making an Age of Wonders III. Hooray!
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« Reply #9714 on: June 17, 2013, 10:35:29 PM »

RE: Parent stuff, I'm living with my folks right now due to medical issues (fibromyalgia is the big one now, though it was originally a combination of PTSD, depression, anxiety, and attendant stomach and misery troubles that caused me to drop out of college and move back here so I could regroup and then go live in a city I wanted to live in and attend a college I actually wanted to attend), and some of the shit I have to deal with gets pretty ugly.  My father is generally all right, though sometimes I get sick of the stiff upper lip/only soldiers get PTSD bullshit, but my mother can be far worse when something annoys her.  At that point I'm suddenly lying about all of my medical issues because I'm too lazy to work and/or every specialist I've seen (generally at least a handful per issue) was/is leading me on to get money.  Which makes no sense if I'm just lying because I'm too lazy to work.  On the other hand I apparently grew my hair out long because I'm too lazy to go to a barber, so making sense is not really her strong point...

Anyway, living here does have its moments (aside from time to focus on my hobbies), largely in the form of my father's sense of humor.  In addition to the aforementioned glue bit a few pages back, an example cropped up today:

We were in a hospital to visit a friend of his, took our leave, and while taking the elevator down to lobby my father noticed a hand print on one side of the elevator door, observed that it looked like someone being taken from behind, and took the liberty of miming it right up until the door opened and some poor nurse tried to walk in. Fortunately he was out of position at that time so she wasn't COMPLETELY traumatized. Just tried to walk into the elevator to find one idiot in her face and another chuckling like a moron.  She's probably had worse days.
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« Reply #9715 on: June 18, 2013, 12:49:22 AM »

It's all about not letting the little things bug you. Sure she fucked up printing stuff, but do you need the printouts anyway? Those things got a cursory glance at best from me in any class I've had.

I went nuts on amazon before I went to bed last night.

Akira bluray. FFX/FFX2 on PS3, and the Metal Gear set.
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« Reply #9716 on: June 18, 2013, 01:36:04 AM »

My mom's alright to be around, although I think she's a little autistic and she has an amazing talent for saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment -- like, in the how in the world would you think that was an appropriate thing to say? sense. But she's mostly cool.

Dad's harder to be around. He's just old as fuck. 58 going on 80 pretty much. Overweight, recently retired, not doing anything to keep himself active or mentally... capable. I've been back to there house twice since he retired (in January?) but from what I remember he'd just sit around watching 1000 Ways to Die a lot. Which reminds me of a Neutral Milk Hotel song hm HM!

(Omitting the rest of this because I'm starting to think I'm a terrible person for not caring about my parents more OH WELP).

I'm also kind of... permanently mad at both of them about something that I'll probably never be willing to forgive them for anyway, so...
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« Reply #9717 on: June 18, 2013, 01:42:45 AM »

My mom is pretty awesome. We argued all the time when I lived there but she cracks me up.

One xmas I brought my +1 over. We're all chatting and my mom goes "so you gonna tell us how you got that scar on your forehead or not?"

(she had a small scar by her eyebrow. hardly even noticeable.)

My dad and I started laughing our asses off.
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« Reply #9718 on: June 18, 2013, 01:43:55 AM »

Jeez, this is sounding depressing. I hate family drama. In my house I'm the guy that goes around and tries to either fix things or get people to relax, not that it always works. Sounds like Dice, Klutz, DW and Starmongoose need hugs.

Is it okay that I vent a little RE: parents too?
I can empathize with anything to do with cleaning and not moving out. My Mom has back problems and can't keep the house as clean as she wants, so the cleaning falls to me. Nobody ever seems to want to keep the toilets or the floor or counter-tops or the bathtub clean and with 7 people (8 during the school-year) and a baby in the house it gets dirty really fast. The others sometimes clean when their told, but it isn't often and I can be pretty resentful. It is just I hate cleaning for so many people who should be able to do it themselves. It isn't like I can move out either, a few months ago I chose to be unemployed so I could watch my Nephew 7 hours-a-day 6 days-a-week. Therefore, I have no money.

Anyway, I keep getting told by my Dad (my Mom and Dad are divorced) that I need to get a job and I don't do enough and frankly that pisses me off. It is hard to get a job when I still have to watch my nephew 4 days a week and I need time for myself and school. Being honest I could look harder for the job, but I'm going to have a full course load in September and I don't know if I can juggle so many things simultaneously. My Mom is really great though.
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« Reply #9719 on: June 18, 2013, 01:54:44 AM »

I'm happy! I don't need a hug, though I'll never turn one down. :D
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