What's the haps?

[Daggerstrike]

I went to visit my parents last week. It had been 2 years since I saw them. It was nice. What isn't as nice? Figuring out that you really don't have much in the way of good friends. Or friends of any sort really. Acquaintances,  yes. Internet friends, some. People that are willing to do any sort of favor for you or anything, like bring you to or pick you up from the airport? Nope. I might have to postpone my surgery since I probably won't have a ride. Fuck life.

[Ashton]

That sucks dude. I'm lucky in that I have a small group of close friends but we're pretty much bros, so if we needed a ride or a place to crash, we'd be there for each other. I've been where you are and wish I lived nearer so you'd have someone to rely on like that.

[MeshGearFox]

I don't have any friends either, and I can't really relate to any of my coworkers -- they're all about ten years older than me, Tamil, married, and have kids.

The lack of a support network concerns me, because that's useful, but... beyond the utility value of having friends, do I really want any? I know that's sort of a cynical way of looking at it, but...

Anyway.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, confusing the bartender. The fourth one is a duck, confusing the bartender even more.

[Annubis]

I have one good friend in this city and another one way out in the middle of nowhere whom I see once every couple of years.
Given that I lost a friend this year, it's been scaring me that I have only one local friend left (and it's a 1 hour drive between us still)

I have no idea how I'm supposed to make good friends at my age.

Even less of an idea on how to make a girlfriend.

[MeshGearFox]

Even less of an idea on how to make a girlfriend.

[GrimReality]

Let's all just talk about how pathetic we are in the (real life)friends department! I don't have any. Not a one. My wife is my best friend, of course, and I get along just dandy with my co-workers, but I don't have anyone that I actually talk to or do anything with. The only get togethers I participate in are family oriented. Plus, the occasional Master Gardener activities. I'm pretty active online, of course, but I don't think it's fair to call people I only know that way friends.
Funny thing is, I am perfectly ok with this. The things I like doing (gardening(distant first), movies, gaming, reading) are all best done alone, IMHO. I get plenty of interaction with people through work and home. I honestly have no idea how I would even fit any kind of friend in my life. I already don't have enough time to do the things I want to do.

Even less of an idea on how to MAKE a girlfriend.

Sounds like a job for a mad scientist.

[Dice]

Even less of an idea on how to MAKE a girlfriend.

Sounds like a job for a mad scientist.

Or a dating site.  3 friends of my family have been successfully hooked up (ie; 1 dating for over 6 months now, 1 engaged, and the other married).  Whoever their "mad scientist" is (loved that) seems to work well for them. 

IS IT TOO LATE TO SAY "LOVE POTION NUMBAH NAAA-AAAA-YN~"

I have really few friends too... I got my boyfriend, a few of my favorite retards here (I say that lovingly I swear to god), and my one BFFF I got all acquaintances and no real "girl friends".

Even worse, I get a bit jealous when I see TV shows or movies where the circle of "good friends" is bigger.  I watched MLP with another friend of our family's daughter and those fucking ponies have it good between each other; and I got jealous watching cartoon ponies. 

I know i'm part to blame, and part life style.
Working part-time kept me at work a lot of the big "party nights" most people hung out on.

Im generally a more "privacy is gold" type, I love doing my own thing...  but after a while....

And school had abruptly cut a lot of old connections.

I'll hopefully come back with better news.  But it's starting to look like we're a bit of an Island of Misfit Toys.  If it means anything, I love the "company" from people here quite a bit.

[Annubis]

Even less of an idea on how to MAKE a girlfriend.

Sounds like a job for a mad scientist.

I think I'd stand a better chance at making a girlfriend than getting one.
At least I get to code the logic.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND speaking of female logic!
Here's a prime example of how I won't ever understand women social logic.

At work, a guy left to get a coffee and it's been 3 hours since he left.
Another guy comes and asks where he is, so I say "I have no idea, he left for a coffee like hours ago. Must be the biggest damn coffee ever"
After the guy leaves, my female coworker sitting in the next cubicle turns to me and says "You shouldn't have said that."
I'm like "Why?"
She's like "Well, these 2 guys are friends so if the other guy hears you said that, he might not like you anymore because that makes him look bad in front of his friend."

I just kinda stared into nothingness for a moment and sat down confused.

[Dice]

Even less of an idea on how to MAKE a girlfriend.

Sounds like a job for a mad scientist.

I think I'd stand a better chance at making a girlfriend than getting one.
At least I get to code the logic.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND speaking of female logic!
Here's a prime example of how I won't ever understand women social logic.

At work, a guy left to get a coffee and it's been 3 hours since he left.
Another guy comes and asks where he is, so I say "I have no idea, he left for a coffee like hours ago. Must be the biggest damn coffee ever"
After the guy leaves, my female coworker sitting in the next cubicle turns to me and says "You shouldn't have said that."
I'm like "Why?"
She's like "Well, these 2 guys are friends so if the other guy hears you said that, he might not like you anymore because that makes him look bad in front of his friend."

I just kinda stared into nothingness for a moment and sat down confused.

That's not woman logic.  That's just nonsense.  Or she's passing off shit her and her gossip-y friends do??????   :S

The girly-girls I worked with at the bar (wait staff were all women) were just as..."silly" sometimes.

[Klutz64]

My lack of friends is just fine with me. I have had one good friend that didn't leave it solely to me to maintain our friendship, and I lost contact with him when I left Michigan. As far as my experience goes, friendships and relationships are too much work with too little reward, and most will stab you in the back with a good enough reason.

...I swear I'm not a pessimist.

[MeshGearFox]

I don't need friends, I'll just make out with my copy of Layer Section whenever it gets here. Assuming it doesn't get lost in the mail because Japan's postal service is stupid.

I'm bad at relating to communities that exceed a certain threshold of homogeneity. I'm also bad at relating to people that grew up online to a greater degree than I did, because they see the world in... terms of Facebook and TVtropes and memes, and I don't. I'm bad at embracing ideologies or acting out of a combined sense of purpose. I don't relate to fandoms.

So the things people usually form bonds off -- they're just... not relevant to me. And I'm fine with this, but there you go.

Also married people just kind of freak me out, especially when they're younger than me. I don't know why -- that's just something I find completely unrelatable. So the two guys at my job that are close to my age and native English speakers

[Kevadu]

Holy shit, I have a date for my PhD thesis defense.

What the fuck am I going to do when I graduate?  I've been a grad student so long I've forgotten how to interact with the real world.  I'm institutionalized!

[Agent D.]

I don't categorize my friends as close or anything, mostly just by how long I've known them. Course my oldest pals are pretty much dull bumps on a log and pretty boring for it, so I usually delegate them to inconsistent "sup" texts.

[Aurian]

I find it hard to make friends, in part because the most common way to meet people is in large groups of people (parties, bars, gatherings, etc.). I am scared of large crowds and it is also very difficult for me to understand people when it is noisy. I also don't have very similar interests to most women my age and I haven't run across too many in my geographical area (I have a couple of online friends but they're a bit far away!).

I prefer to DO things when I meet up with friends, instead of just sitting around and talking. Since my husband and I took up playing MTG, we have quite a few friends now (all guys though!).

[MeshGearFox]

Holy shit, I have a date for my PhD thesis defense.

What the fuck am I going to do when I graduate?  I've been a grad student so long I've forgotten how to interact with the real world.  I'm institutionalized!

Dude you have a PhD you become a college teacher.

Come on man you can never leave the uni.