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RPGFan Community Quiz!
Subject: Persona 3: FES
Prize: $20 eShop, PSN or Steam code
Date: 3rd October 2014 Time: 16:00 EST
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Author Topic: Lonely Internet People - Unite!!!  (Read 4741 times)
Dice
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« on: November 13, 2010, 08:56:23 PM »

I'm doing some readings for a project about Social Networks.  So do people like them for whatever reasons and all that whatnot.

"Compared with others, lonely users were more likely to prefer communicating online to face-to-face communication, to find online anonymity liberating, to like the speed of communicating online, and to have lurked online. Lonely users were more likely than non-lonely users to agree that when online: they were more themselves than in real life, they opened up more to people than in other forms of communication, they were friendlier, they had shared intimate secrets, and they had pretended to be someone else. They also agreed more than the non-lonely that: their online friends understood them better, most of their friends they knew from online, going online made it easier to make friends, they had more fun with the people they met online, and they had a network of friends made online."

Maybe not so dramatically as this puts it - but what are your thoughts?  Why are you here and is there any truth to it in regards to your social life?  Sorry if this is kinda personal, but I'm curious.  I'll admit, this seems quite true to me.  I do feel freer online, I have less to impress, and easier to do so anyways.  I don't really know how well I'm liked here, of curse, but in general, I do find it easier.  I'm not "lonely", so to speak, but I'm definitely much more private; few people to be close with.

Thoughts?

(that, and maybe combined with the fact that school occupies my life, so it's internet instead of people...que sera sera).

EDIT:  It's important to know that there is MORE research to this - there is conflicting evidence and other aspects to this research - I just chose this.  And please don't let this definition (quite literally) define you.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2010, 09:09:30 PM by Dice » Logged

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Starmongoose
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« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2010, 09:23:22 PM »

Your one of my favourite posters, Dice. :)

I'll share some personal stuff, I don't mind.

In relation to your post, I only have one friend with whom I physically meet regularly, though the number used to be much higher a few years ago. I'm not as much of a social animal as I used to be, and now I pretty much lock myself away from everyone. Moving to Ireland was probably the trigger, having moved away from everyone I know to a place where I had no roots except my boyfriend and his family. I've been here over two years and have not made a single friend, not even an acquaintance.

That being said, I don't get into deep conversation with many people online either. I used to be on IM messengers all the time talking to lots of people, but I stopped that. People who were fun to talk to initially got pretty heavy later on, because if you listen to someone's problems once, you're practically their new agony aunt. I got fed up listening to other people talking about the hard things in their life, I just want the topics to stay light and fun. So yeah, outside of this forum, and my twitter - I don't have an Internet presence. Or a real life one.

I often joke that if I deleted my Twitter, people would forget I was even there.

Funny thing is, I'm not even lonely. I'm very content with my life, I certainly don't want any more people to talk too. I guess it could be said I'm just very low maintenance and easily pleased?
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« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2010, 09:58:08 PM »

I'm lonely as fuck.
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MeshGearFox
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« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2010, 10:48:29 PM »

Wait what the fuck I was I writing last night.

Thoren let's make out.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 10:04:32 AM by MeshGearFox » Logged

o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`

CastNuri
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« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2010, 10:51:58 PM »

I used to be rather lonely during my earlier years of secondary school (American equivalent of middle school, I suppose) because not many people in my school spoke English. It wasn't that I didn't understand or speak Malay, I just couldn't connect with students who were so far removed from my sphere of thought at the time. Didn't properly mix into any social groups either because I'm of mixed race and didn't want to align myself with a particular racial clique. That's to say I did develop English speaking friends but when I couldn't meet up with them most of my time was spent online-- hence I found myself on places like the GameFAQs boards or here at the 'Fan! I've made some really good friends online but most of them have been from that era of my life.

Things have changed since then. I got more social and open-minded in high school, came abroad, met more like-minded people, etc. I'm not very lonely anymore, maybe just a little less social, a little more private than a couple of years back. I have to push myself to be more social nowadays. There's a difference between feeling lonely and just being alone; the former implies that one is missing something-- and I do miss my family sometimes but that's just the kind of loneliness lots of people carry with them throughout their lives.

Could go on forever about this topic but I'm gonna stop there. :P
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« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2010, 10:54:18 PM »

x.x thank god, CastNuri shared some personal information.

I was beginning to feel stupid there for sharing so much.
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CastNuri
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« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2010, 11:01:31 PM »

Heh, I'm pretty sure somebody else would have eventually done the same if I hadn't. :P

I think that everyone feels or knows loneliness of some form, which makes it either easy or difficult to talk about at length.

EDIT: I forgot to mention how much I like this thread's title. ^__^;
« Last Edit: November 13, 2010, 11:11:06 PM by CastNuri » Logged

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« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2010, 11:28:12 PM »

Sounds pretty spot on for me, though now that I've moved to a larger city, and started Volunteering at the humane society and playing Magic at the local game store, I've found more IRL people to hang out with and enjoy.  However I am still fairly shy, since I spent the majority of my life up to this point being that way, so its still very awkward for me in alot of cases.  I could go all boo hoo about me and the lady folk, but I figure fuck it, ill get there at some point, ill work on just being more social and enjoying life more, and whatever comes, comes.  *Double entendre? Maybe..maybe not :P)
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« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2010, 12:08:33 AM »

Starmongoose is my hombre


Thoren too. He know's Devon.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 12:17:21 AM by Yoda » Logged
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« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2010, 01:27:13 AM »

A lot of people I consider good friends live kinda far from me so it's not like I can easily ride my bike over to their houses.  Thus, Facebook is a great way for me to keep in touch with them and interact.  And with RPGFan, many of you live in different parts of the US and the world so it's not like I can Scotty beam myself to your neck of the woods to hang out, or teleport you to Philly to hang out with me.  

EDIT: Of course, I have a ton of local friends who I hang out with, party with, go to shows with, go cycling/hiking/whatever with, and I value the face time more than anything else.  I'm friends with so many people in bands that there's never a weekend when I don't have at least 1-2 shows to go to.  And all my friends understand that if I don't see their band play, it's always because I'm either performing somewhere myself or seeing another friend's band play somewhere.  My favorite places to be during the weekend are on my bike or on a hike somewhere, at band practice, or seeing live music.  I'm a social animal and I like being around people, meeting new people (especially musicians), and having a wider net of invites to social events.  I just love going out. And my favorite part of being in a band is playing live. 

Speaking of, I also use Facebook to plan events (i.e. parties, gatherings, shows if/when my band is playing).  It's the easiest way for me to tell people en masse about something happening.  And when I want to relay a piece of information quickly, I'll text.  Otherwise, I'm cool with calling to chit-chat.  Take the time out to coverse.    

I prefer live communication to online communication, definitely.  I want to be able to hug my friends, which is something I can't do online.  It's like how I prefer physical media like vinyl and CDs over digital downloads; a band can't autograph a stream of data with a Sharpie marker.  

That being said, I sound far more intelligent and coherent when communicating online than in person because I can think through my writing whereas I can't always think through my speaking... and I'm a pretty slow thinker.  The Internet wasn't around (or around as extensively) when I was in middle and high school- the years when I was the most socially awkward and introverted.  Back then, Facebook would have rocked my socks off.  Some of the 'fanners I hang with in real life (Sensei Phoenix, Ramza, TurnBasedDude) can tell you more certainly how my online persona differs from my live one; heh, it's kinda like how a singer's stage persona differs from his/her offstage one.  

OMG META MEGATEN!
« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 08:55:23 AM by Dincrest » Logged

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« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2010, 01:39:36 AM »

Starmongoose is my hombre



?

EDIT: @MeshGearFox : That's some story man. I actually thought you would be the very social type. I guess that shows you how awful I am at reading people.

Now we just need to crack Thorens shell to expose the soft chocolatey center we all know is buried deep down in there somewhere.


...


Why are there never any M&M's around when you need some. Or better yet, Minstrels.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 01:46:07 AM by Starmongoose » Logged

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« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2010, 02:01:31 AM »

I think I'm going to have to step in here and change it up.  I fit into the group that finds the social sphere of the internet to be alienating.  I find it extremely hard for me to be myself online and truly open up because I don't think the anonymity allows me that kind of freedom.  I think it kind of forces me to take on a role to attempt in some way to fit into that particular social sphere.  I've never felt the social aspect of the internet was ever really conducive to a real relationship that ever delved beyond the superficial. 

These days I've actually been diminishing my online presence and pulling myself away from the internet.  I've deleted almost everyone from facebook that I'm not regularly in contact with.  I deleted the twitter account I had (though I rarely used it).  I deleted all my blogs.  I stopped posting in most forums and reverted back to lurking.  It just feels like the internet (for me) wasn't filling in a hole in my life but rather distracting me from the core problem to the point where as soon as I stepped away from it the problems ended up becoming more highlighted.

For me I've spent the majority of my life pretty lonely to the point where I really feel like it has become a core part of my personality that I don't think I could ever really shake.  I mean I have a good core group of really great friends, but I get pretty depressed regularly and it's definitely rooted in loneliness.  When I was very young my father passed away and I think that had a lot to do with it.  We moved around a lot, and I also moved schools a few more times than most and never really grounded myself socially.  My mother worked a lot and my sister and I never really got along so even at home there wasn't any social environment and I spent a lot of time on my own, especially between 8 and 12 where I was traveling between boroughs regularly on my own and had no friends in my neighborhood and never saw anyone in my school once school ended.

And I could get into stories of some really fucked up "friendships" that I've managed to make that have only furthered my bitterness in a lot of aspects of life but I don't think it's worth getting into.  Hell I don't even know why I opened up as much as I did...meh.  But yeah, I definitely don't think the anonymity of the internet is as liberating as people believe.
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Dice
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« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2010, 02:15:09 AM »

Your one of my favourite posters, Dice. :)

I'm quite flattered! :O


Quote
In relation to your post, I only have one friend with whom I physically meet regularly, though the number used to be much higher a few years ago. I'm not as much of a social animal as I used to be, and now I pretty much lock myself away from everyone. Moving to Ireland was probably the trigger, having moved away from everyone I know to a place where I had no roots except my boyfriend and his family. I've been here over two years and have not made a single friend, not even an acquaintance.

That being said, I don't get into deep conversation with many people online either. I used to be on IM messengers all the time talking to lots of people, but I stopped that. People who were fun to talk to initially got pretty heavy later on, because if you listen to someone's problems once, you're practically their new agony aunt. I got fed up listening to other people talking about the hard things in their life, I just want the topics to stay light and fun. So yeah, outside of this forum, and my twitter - I don't have an Internet presence. Or a real life one.

Funny thing is, I'm not even lonely. I'm very content with my life, I certainly don't want any more people to talk too. I guess it could be said I'm just very low maintenance and easily pleased?
[/size]

I hate saying I agree with this, right after saying I'm flattered.  But this is generally my situation as well - aside the moving away part.

I have a few friends, a good boyfriend, and of course, my dear family...but other than that I can't say I really venture outside to "search" for friends - I got too much else to do and on my mind.  I'm already broke, I can't really do much with them anyways.
I like coming here and to a few other "choice" net spots to chat.  I'm barely using Facebook if not reply with some wit to whatever strikes. 

Maybe it's just me not giving others a chance either - but I find it hard to find interesting people as well.  Too much of the same old - people are almost predictable at times fitting into the archetypes the match.

I've always kinda been like this.  I'm fortunate in the sense I'm not reserved in shy in real life; but at the same time I don't really care either - I've always usually kept to myself and preferred a nice night in to a crazy-loud-expensive-wild night out (which is what my age group does - and my friends more specifically)
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« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2010, 02:21:20 AM »

Why are there never any M&M's around when you need some. Or better yet, Minstrels.

Dare I suggest mint M&Ms? Christmas brings about the best chocolate, honestly. :P
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Dice
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« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2010, 02:34:51 AM »

Why are there never any M&M's around when you need some. Or better yet, Minstrels.

Dare I suggest mint M&Ms? Christmas brings about the best chocolate, honestly. :P

Truffles.  And Eastern Europe calls to me...and says....oh so softly... "perogies"
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