Author Topic: Pun thread

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Sensei Phoenix

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Pun thread
« on: January 13, 2011, 07:42:01 PM »
Post your best:

Conversation between my friend and I:

Me: Would a game featuring and named after Link's horse be considered eponymous?
Him: Only if it had a cameo by Mickey Mouse
Me: That's ebony-mouse
Him: That sounds like the worst dessert ever!
Me: That would be wight chocolate.
Him: Eyes cream is pretty bad.
Me: Not as bad as creme boole.
Him: Point.
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Annubis

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2011, 07:52:21 PM »
The lesbians next door bought me a rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said « I wanna watch » ...

Dice

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2011, 07:56:31 PM »
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Raze

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2011, 08:10:01 PM »

Ramza

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2011, 08:46:28 PM »
You are not e

MeshGearFox

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2011, 01:22:49 AM »
My sister fancies herself a bit of a cook. She's actually pretty good, from what I've heard, though I being a vegetarian and she being quite the carnivore, I don't really know first hand. In any case, last weekend she was making some sort of Minestrone or Italian Wedding soup or something for a party that evening. This might have been New Years, honestly. You can see how little I give a damn about New Years. Anyway. She started cooking it to discover that she was out of peas. Well, not entirely true. Mom said told her we had some peas, but they ended up being canned.

You've had canned peas, right? You can see why they're totally unusable.

Anyway, this was in the early afternoon. Mom was still at work, dad was out of town on business (actually yeah, it wasn't New Years. Fuck, January 12th already? Er, 14th?), and my sister was at home, tending the soup. Having gotten done with class at about two--my Hindi prof's been sick off an on. We watched some cracked-out Bollywood gangster rom-com as a result today--, I got the call to make the emergency grocery store run.

Anyway, I hop on the bus, trek out to Krogers in the freezing cold, and then start looking for fresh peas. Don't find any. Do they even sell fresh peas? I mean, in winter, in Ohio? Anyway, call my sister up. She says frozen would worked. Fun. More freezing. Anyway, I get the stupid peas from the freezer, and a bottle of tea for myself, and get in line. My hands are about totally numb at this point, by the way.

Anyway, I'm standing in line regarding this dumb bitch in front of me who's buying some overpriced orchid. I hate orchids. They look like a cross between a labia and a tarantula and they're impossible to grow. This chick is like, late twenties, maybe, but she's got two kids and they're basically running her life, and she's arguing with the poor clerk about some coupon. Line's queuing up behind me. I'm not really getting that impatient. Mostly just bemused.

Anyway, since I was taking so long, I guess my sister tried to call me, but her call wasn't getting through. So she called mom and had mom call me in turn. Phone rings while I'm standing in line, mom tells me my sister called, asking if I got her the groceries she asked for, and I gave an affirmative answer.

At that point Dumb Bitch in front of me stops arguing with the clerk, looks horrified, pays, packs her kids up, and scuttles outside. People behind me start shifting around, looking at their feet, backing away from me.

No idea what the hell that was about.
o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`


Aeolus

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2011, 04:50:58 AM »
This thread is no phun.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2011, 11:59:29 AM by Aeolus »
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Tooker

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2011, 01:07:59 PM »
MGF, I'm a big fan of puns... but I wasn't able to figure out yours.  My closest guess is
Code: [Select]
that we're supposed to figure out what you said on the phone, and that it has to do with peas.  I feel dumb. ;)
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Dice

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2011, 01:22:52 PM »
This thread is no phun.

This thread is ...PUNNY. =)
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GrimReality

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2011, 01:33:18 PM »
MGF, I'm a big fan of puns... but I wasn't able to figure out yours.  My closest guess is
Code: [Select]
that we're supposed to figure out what you said on the phone, and that it has to do with peas.  I feel dumb. ;)
Same here. I was trying to figure out how he could say "yeah, I'm buying some peas now" or some other such phrase, and have it scare people off.
Someone explain?
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MeshGearFox

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2011, 01:50:23 PM »
'i got her peas'

nevermind :((((((((((((
o/` I do not feel joy o/`
o/` I do not dream o/`
o/` I only stare at the door and smoke o/`


Dincrest

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2011, 07:38:02 PM »
I remember someone telling me a story about how they were on a job assignment in Portugal and when the paychecks came in, the guy exclaimed, "Pay day!"  Everyone looked at him weirdly because apparently, "peidei" means "I farted" in Portugese.   
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CastNuri

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2011, 07:49:27 PM »
'i got her peas'

nevermind :((((((((((((

Ooh you got herpes! I get it now!

I have no pun to contribute but this topic rocks.
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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2011, 08:06:55 PM »
'i got her peas'

nevermind :((((((((((((

Ooh you got herpes! I get it now!

I have no pun to contribute but this topic rocks.

New Zealand rocks too.
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insertnamehere

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Re: Pun thread
« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2011, 01:01:44 AM »

I mostly pop in occasionally to give my two cents on certain controversial things, so if you disagree then send a PM, because I generally don't check for replies in threads in case I feel like replying and then things get heated/derailed.