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Author Topic: The girlfriend won't let me play video games, WTF!?  (Read 10414 times)
Ivalice Alliance
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« on: May 15, 2011, 11:41:06 PM »

Ok first of all, yes I have a girlfriend, not the imaginary kind or the hand relationship,lol.  I have been dating her since January and she has two kids and we talk about when we get married down the road, she mentions my video game addiction.  Ok, I own about 700+ games.  Yes, I wouldn't call myself an addict but I'm 25 years old, have been gaming since I was about three and I just love top collect and play video games.  I work full time at a hospital and I really never get a chance to play anything.  All I want to do is come home to my apartment and play some games.  I have tons of games on my backlog and the majority are RPG's.  She tells me that when I step into her life with two kids and working all day, coming home, have dinner and spending time with her in the evening, I won't have time to play any games.  I told her what about on the weekends when I'm off? She sighs and says "What's more important, your future wife or a video game?"  She used to be a gamer back in the 90's and she is fine with me having a hobby of playing games.  Yes, I can be a family man and take up responsibilities, but she is trying to be manipulative and she says she's not.  I'm not acting selfish but she won't tell me that I have to give up my video games but yet she is too important to me and I know that with two kids, more attention to them is mandatory.  She tells me that I may not be ready for a family.  It's either, get rid of the love of my life for my love of video games or give up my love of video games for the love of my life.  What do you guys think?
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Bytor
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« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2011, 11:45:36 PM »

I'm divorced...not sure if that makes me under qualified or over qualified to answer, lol...but honestly I believe compromise is one of the keys to any relationship.
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« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2011, 11:58:02 PM »

She has very strong beliefs on things that from her perception, no compromise:  No nudity in movies (Sex or no sex), she hates that i'm not a registered voter, she hates that I listen to a German band that are Atheists even though their music talks nothing about God.  She really hates that I work in a hospital where there are girls everywhere and she thinks I flirt with them all. She basically made me delete my frickin YouTube and Facebook account. I hate Facebook but I talked to video game composers but she thought I was talking to other girls behind her back.  She has trust issues because her ex cheated on her.  I love her with all my heart but nobody is going to tell me what to, what to listen to and who not to talk to.
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« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2011, 12:00:47 AM »

I love her with all my heart but nobody is going to tell me what to, what to listen to and who not to talk to.

Sounds like you've already let her do so.

I'm divorced...not sure if that makes me under qualified or over qualified to answer, lol...but honestly I believe compromise is one of the keys to any relationship.

I'm going to have to agree with Bytor here, compromise is probably the best solution.
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« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2011, 12:05:28 AM »

I'm probably not qualified to answer this either seeing as my first relationship ended terribly and I became a shut in for 6 years afterwards, and only recently have started to come out of the shell i built up, and my second was an internet relationship with a boy who became my best friend over the net, and then out of nowhere confessed to me that he loved me, I just about threw everything we had away because the prospect of internet sex with him. I honestly can't believe he still talks to me, and every day at that still.

Eh, sorry about that. Anyways, you are right she is being selfish, and if she truly loves you she wont hold you to some kind of video game hiatus. You have to find balance for both of you. Relationships wont work if only one person is in control you both have to decide what's best for both of you. For everything you take you must also give back in return.

Heh. Maybe I do know a little after all, starting over with my ex taught me that I can't control him like I did. We have to each have our own part in the relationship. If the relationship doesn't work on give and take it will fail. There are no maybes about that. You two have to reach a compromise or you both will end up hurt. I still regret what I did to him, and sometimes when talking to him the guilt still surfaces. I won't do that ever again, and no one else should either.

That's my two cents anyways. Take it for what you will.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 12:08:36 AM by Demon_Princess_Kay » Logged

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« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2011, 12:12:20 AM »

This is really tough, she seems to be restricting quite a lot out of you (I personally think hobbies are personal, and should be 100% free), but if you love her like you say you do: I think compromise is still the best option for you to tackle, regardless of her opinion on it.  Is there anything you can leverage her on? 

ie; you like this, let me like that?
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« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2011, 12:17:10 AM »

She has very strong beliefs on things that from her perception, no compromise:  No nudity in movies (Sex or no sex), she hates that i'm not a registered voter, she hates that I listen to a German band that are Atheists even though their music talks nothing about God.  She really hates that I work in a hospital where there are girls everywhere and she thinks I flirt with them all. She basically made me delete my frickin YouTube and Facebook account.  I love her with all my heart but nobody is going to tell me what to, what to listen to and who not to talk to.

Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you are already doing that. If she is religious and you are not, and she is pushing her beliefs on you, you guys are headed for conflict, particularly if she won't budge on anything.
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« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2011, 12:22:14 AM »

I asked her, "Would it be a bad thing if I could play a game for an hour?" She flips out.  I don't think I have to ask permission to do the things I do.  The more I think of it, the more I feel like ending things.  Its more than just the video games, she thinks she can treat me like a puppet. 
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« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2011, 12:23:52 AM »

I asked her, "Would it be a bad thing if I could play a game for an hour?" She flips out.  

There's your answer.
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« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2011, 12:29:12 AM »

There's nothing worse than someone putting the rope on your neck for what you enjoy. That's the only thing I can say about this... other than that, I'm with Lard on this one.
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« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2011, 12:31:41 AM »

She has major trust issues and is extremely controlling.

She hates that you work in a hospital? Wow... who says that?
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« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2011, 12:39:46 AM »

Threaten a breakup? :D
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« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2011, 12:45:40 AM »

It's been 4 months, man.  Get out while you can.  Good lord, get out.

You put up with her kids.  Nothing in the world is harder than that.  Get... out.

My girlfriend has two kids, but she is cool about everything I do.  The idea of buying them cars doesn't make me sick.  Does the idea of buying cars for someone elses kids, while you can't even buy a fucking videogame for yourself make you feel like a man?

Get out.  Now.
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« Reply #13 on: May 16, 2011, 12:47:47 AM »

She has major trust issues and is extremely controlling.

She hates that you work in a hospital? Wow... who says that?

She admitted to me that she has trust issue and used to be controlling and she wants to stop but I can obviously see that she is not stopping that.

She works in the healthcare field too, different hospital than I work at but she says that "All women that work in a hospital are whores." She was basically calling herself one,lol.  I feel like if I call things off, that I will feel like i'm not ever going to be a family man or a good husband but if I give up my video games for her, I will be somewhat miserable.
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« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2011, 12:50:15 AM »

She has very strong beliefs on things that from her perception, no compromise:  No nudity in movies (Sex or no sex), she hates that i'm not a registered voter, she hates that I listen to a German band that are Atheists even though their music talks nothing about God.  She really hates that I work in a hospital where there are girls everywhere and she thinks I flirt with them all. She basically made me delete my frickin YouTube and Facebook account. I hate Facebook but I talked to video game composers but she thought I was talking to other girls behind her back.  She has trust issues because her ex cheated on her.  I love her with all my heart but nobody is going to tell me what to, what to listen to and who not to talk to.

If she wants to get married she damn well better be ready for some compromise from the both of you. She sounds paranoid, which I get part comes from her ex cheating on her, but she has to remember you're not her ex. She sounds controlling and I feel like your last statement:
Quote
but nobody is going to tell me what to, what to listen to and who not to talk to.
contradicts with this one.
Quote
She basically made me delete my frickin YouTube and Facebook account.

If she loves you she needs to meet you halfway. Video game hobbies or whatever. And seeing as things are like this now, how do you think it's gonna be when you're actually married? If you think it'll get any better, you're in for a reality check.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 12:52:02 AM by kyuusei » Logged

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