Okay, after sitting on it, I'm just going to ask some questions and make some comments.
The first part, I thought it was interesting you mention the smell of blood, but then describe its look, was there any reason for this?
What were you trying to do with the structure? It's incredibly choppy, which definitely fits the tone of the poem, but I do feel the length kind of ruins the feeling I got while starting out.
I also kind of disagree with Vanguard about the title, only because I think there is some level of vagueness to it, and I wonder if that's your intention. For instance, it strongly hints at a hospital waiting room, but it also feels like the waiting room could be anywhere, just some room where a person waits on death. Perhaps it can be implied in the poem itself without that title, but I think the title may help a little bit.
Okay, that's all I got for now.