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Pffffft.
Monday, April 1, 2002

Hey hey, word up, hi and stuff. Here's Monday's update, slightly late (by about an hour and a half) as usual. But you know what? I don't care. If anyone out there is actually so sad to sit here at midnight PST reloading over and over waiting for the new update, you deserve to be disappointed. In fact, to further disappoint you lamers, you're only getting one letter today. One.

Furthermore, if anyone e-mails ever again asking about the CANCELLED Final Fantasy remakes on PS2, I will reply personally, and attach a 20 meg video file to it, to clog your e-mail program. So don't ask. Just....don't. If you're even THINKING about writing in about them, I'll send a 50 meg video, AND a 17 meg TIFF file, which will be a scan of my blank scanner bed at 600 dpi. And if you're THINKING about THINKING about it... oh, we won't even go there. It's not pretty.

Now then, back to the Mailbag. Read on for your one letter. If you're all very lucky and stop aggravating me with your silly pointless letters, I just might post up a regular update Wednesday. Maybe.

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Topic of the Moment
E-mail Daniel, unless you're a scammer from Nigeria.
 
 
W3rd up y0

MAN, im PSYCHIC!!!!! i wrote you an e-mail last week asking about Phantasy Star for the GBA and now there coming out for it!!!!!! for my next prediction .....
Chronologist:
Wow, congrats. For MY next prediction, this column will self-destruct in 2 minutes. Oh, plus you'll be killed by an archer in blue tights who's standing behind you. Across the street. On top of a volcano. On the moon. The volcano on the moon. But yes, you'll be quite dead, mark my words.
 
Closing Thoughts

Thank the HEAVENS that's over. This job gets really old. Bye now.

..............

GO AWAY!

~ Chronologist (letters@rpgfan.com)



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