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Monday, May 20, 2002

Hey people, droids. Chrono's back again, since Schala's off ironing clothes and such. It's just past midnight now, which is mildly bad, since I usually aim to have these things DONE by midnight. My house (and two cars) were packed with 5 RPGFan editors today, E3 being rather soon. (Rudo, Citan, Schala, Feena and myself, if you must know) We didn't do much work today, but since we only get to see each other once a year, we had to make the most of it. (in other words, playing games, eating, and talking about... well, a lot) Sadly, this left no time for this, and for stuff like packing. Considering we leave for LA tomorrow, this is gonna be tight. You know, 'lack of time' tight, not 'I'm hip, so I use hip slang, like tight...yo' tight. Rudo, by the way, is the best Space Channel 5 player I've ever seen. The mere idea of nabbing a 99% view rating is something I could never even dream of, but he got it with ease. I was floored. And not just because I was on the floor, but also because he was that good.

But anyway. Seven sexy letters await you today, tonight, or something. It's not set in stone what is going on with the Mailbag for the rest of the week, but we're working on it. If one of us does it, or more likely, someone else on staff, the address won't change: keep sending letters to letters@rpgfan.com.

Next week's topic is probably gonna be something E3-related, since a lot of people are probably curious about the show. We'll be covering it of course, but maybe you want to know something specific, something we didn't touch on in our updates. So, you can ask us. But, that's next week, since we won't be here this week to answer them. For this week, go ahead and write about whatever you want, and whoever is hosting can answer. (as such, the topic has been changed to reflect this)

These next 24 hours promise to be pretty hectic, so I hope I live through it. Oh yeah, I have a ton of season finales of my TV shows to somehoe record while I'm gone...ugh. But, I can deal. The thing that drives me? Metroid. Oh yeah. Well, that and getting to stay in a hotel room with Schala for nearly a week. But uh, moving on, here's some letters.

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Star Wars: Attack of the Geeks?

I am a geek, an "uber" geek at that, but for some reason, I totally dislike Star Wars. I hear some people saying they love Star Wars due to the underlying satire the films has, but I don't see it. If someone can actually tell me where this satire is, I respect them, for they have reason to like the movie. They actually understand the purpose of the film. However, when I think of Star Wars, I think of fat geeks with horrible body odor and horrible acne. When I saw the Phantom Menace (2 weeks after it came out) I ended up sitting next to some dude that started talking to the dude next to him (Who he didn't know) and said, "This is the 12th time I've seen the movie. Best episode ever." Then the dude turns around and tells me, "If you talk during the movie, I'll kill you." I also think the movie is full of second rate actors. While sure, it launched a couple of carreers, everyone else is now a washed up actor. God, I know my reasons aren't too valid ! to hate Star Wars, but just plain and simple, the movies are all too over rated, the actors suck, and a majority of the fans are stupid. I like RPG's.

Jimbob Ferdinand Antwain the Ninja

Overrated, sure. Actors... well, some of them can be debatable. I dunno, I still like the movies a lot, save for Episode I, which I like a bit. Episode II, all Anakin acting aside, was worth the 3 year wait for me. I mean, the entire last like, half hour, is just one big battle, which is really, really cool. Sure, SW isn't the absolute best, and God, there's too many rabid fans (though I think Star Trek is worse), but hey, it can be good entertainment. That's enough for me.

Something I only just discovered...you may have seen it, but I'll take the chance and submit it anyway:


...I like kitties.

I like Lunar.

Apparently, someone else does too. Go fig. :P


That...scared me...and those around me.

yet I saved it to my hard drive, to view later, over and over. Great stuff.

The quest of Bob...3!

Dear Schala,

Well, I must say, it seems you were right - RPGFan seems more and more like a site that I should visit more often (and am, to some extent). [/sucking up].

That said, reading your last column made me think a little. For one, what's this about a Zelda compilation? To be honest, reading the last leters column is the first I've heard anything about Nintendo's attempts to re-package or re-make older Zelda titles. It's not like Nintendo hasn't re-released or ported titles before, but these are nowhere near the ambition of actually re-making any of them. And if they're not re-making them, I'm not sure what the good sense is in porting something as dated as OoT as one reader suggested - I loved that game with my heart and soul, but it's way too powerful for a GBA title, and too underpowered for a GC title. This would imply a remake...something I would imagine Yamauchi to be firmly in his stead against.

The other thing that got me thinking was the little talk of yours about realistic versus artistic graphics (you were replying to Cloud701). I think the fact is, there's room for both; increasingly realistic graphics are perferable, even necessary, for everything from Resident Evil to Shenmue, because these games benefit from such graphics (RE because it's scarier, and Shenmue because the point of it is to be realistic).

And on the other end of the spectrum, games like Jet Set Radio series and Ico prove that there's also room for experimentation and artistic freedom. (On a side note, in Ico's case, there exists an argument that Ico's choice to interpret the game world as man might see it - rather than a camera - could be considered realistic in its own right, but that's a seperate matter).

With those comments out of the way, there's something else I would like to ask you. What's your take on Project Ego? I won't lie - I've never been a fan of Computer RPGs, with the exception of Deus Ex, which I enjoyed thoroughly - and as a result, I'm almost biased against it. Yet the idea that Molyneux (sp) could actually pull this off...well, it's so radically ambitous that I can't help but be intrigued. I don't see Project Ego as changing the gaming industry - rather, something like Shenmue, in that it future generations may benefit from it. Yet I loved Shenmue, and while I never purchased a Dreamcast, I never wanted one more than when I borrowed my friend's DC to play and beat Shenmue. I imagine the same may occur with Project Ego...but what do you think?


Good assessment on the whole graphics issue there. I still think it's weird, and almost funny, that so many people can whine about companies, mostly Square, focus too much on graphics, since they're not that important. And yet, now there's people complaining to no end about Zelda's graphics. Gee, I thought graphics weren't all that mattered... moving on now...

Nobody really knows about the Zelda thing. It was mentioned in a magazine, but Nintendo hasn't commented yet. Unless something's said at E3, as people figure, I'm not sure what will become of it. I sure wouldn't mind an OoT remake, though I think a lot of people wouldn't care... oh well, not my problem.

Project Ego, I know nothing about, so that's all I can say. Sorry. :P

It just never gets old!

Dear, and of course, I say "Dear" only because...well...I feel like it, because, you know, there's no actual sense in which I would be justified in saying "Dear", seeing that you suck supremely you pathetic fools, Dear You Pathetic Fools: ...Or wait. Is it pathetic fool, singular? Or plural? or nominative plural? What declension? Declension, what the hell does that word mean anyway? Do I put it in the subjunctive? What of the cheese? Does it have a good smell today?

Of course, I know the answers to all of these questions; I am lord of all humans.

Well, today I played FF7. It's a good game, but I keep getting killed by that goddamn guard scorpion. I don't understand it. There's this little magic thing for the cloud guy, but I don't get it. And then every time I do a limit break I end up using it on myself and getting a game over, even though the walkthrough I have says this is impossible.

Could it have anything to do with the fact that the bottom of my FF7 cd has some rather large tooth marks on it? Probably not. Hmm...maybe I should buffer it with sandpaper. I did that to my Chrono cross CD, and it's a much better game now.

I'll leave it to you to decipher the above sentence, the sentence preceding that one, and several more of the sentences preceding those aforementioned sentences.

I am great, I am awesome. I can beat really, really, really hard rpg games like final fantasy VIII. In FF8, I levelled up to level 100 right at the beginning! But then the game got really hard; I don't know why. And there's this junctioning stuff but I don't understand it. I just attack. That's the only battle command, it's kinda weird. Maybe if I didn't throw away the manual I could figure something out.

Or not. But it doesn't matter, I am lord of all humans. And I have plenty of sandpaper. I like sandpaper. It has many practical applications. Like instead of brushing my teeth, I just brush them with sandpaper. It makes them feel really, really nice. Like courderoy. Or however you spell that word. I don't really care about spelling becuz i m da lord uv all da humuns and im abuv the splling.

Oh well. It doesn't matter. Because I rule.

I really do rule, really. Like the other day I was playing Starcraft and I got my butt kicked by the computer on the first terran mission, and I was even using the cheat codes! Even that instant win cheat code crashed the game. Maybe I should use some more sandpaper.

I'm going to stop writing, or typing, or whatever now, because I'm bored and since I'm the lord of all humanz I don't have to waste more than five minutes of my time with you pathetic fools.

Sincerely [hahahahaha. sorry. I couldn't say that with a straight face.]
lord of chaos

I dunno how Schala can stand reading letters like yours and replying to them so often, because frankly, I just get bored reading the 'i r awesome human being d00d' stuff over and over... Unless it's a joke, in which case, it's just not funny. But hey, whatever makes you feel better.
Exclusive interview!

hello all in internet land!
below is an interview with big time video game star LINK,conducted by me mr. TOM ATO for hyrule herald.lets begin!

ATO:link,how do you feel about people's thoughts on how you look in the new zelda game?
LINK:well tom,people should realize that no matter what i look like,i'll still be kicking ass and taking names all over hyrule so i can keep the triforce safe.
ATO:well put,now what was the problem with you eyes awhile ago?
LINK:well tom,i was having trouble with my contacts and that led to those pictures in the tabloids,but i recently had lasik eye surgery and now i can see clear as day!
TOM:really? i what to see clearly too!(ha ha ha) now do you have any final words for your fans?
LINK:yes,all you haters all know the minute my new game comes out you'll be all over it like ants on honey!
TOM:okay,thanks LINK.this has been mr. tom ato,peace out.

Heh, not bad. I especially like the Lasik eye surgery crack.

Yeah, that's all I got.

Biasism ahead

Hi again! (can't be bothered to type names though it probably would have been quicker than this)

I'm saving up for a Gamecube but some guy I spoke to on the internet told me to get the X box instead...Strangely enough something is telling me not to. I'm not saying the X box is cack or anything just that the games on the Gamecube appeal to me more. What do you think's better? My canadian friend told me that the X box was the best console ever made over there. A lot of people I know in the glorious UK think that that title should be given to either the Mega Drive or the SNES.

So should I listen to him or follow my instincts? Oh, yes I am a Nintendo and fan. Anyway, it is now officially the weekend and I'm off to see Episode 2! YAY!


Go GameCube, seriously. I mean, personally I think there's going to be better games on it. Not speaking personally, you seem to agree. Who cares what someone else said? If the GCN games appeal to you more than the Xbox ones, then why does it matter what someone else said? Granted, the Xbox is a slightly more powerful system, but does a 733 MHz clock speed actually affect game quality? Nope. Specs be damned, if the games aren't there, it's not worth it.
Oooh, quickies. My fave.

Hi Schala, Chrono and Samus.
What I hope to see and hear from E3?
1) Metroid Prime is at the moment my most anticipated game, well at least non RPG, so I really hope to see more of it. Also a bit more from (both?) Zelda games of course.
2) More about perfect dark 2, will Rare be there at all?
3) Anything about a Mana game, port for GBA or a new one I'll gladly take both.
4) News from Devil May Cry two.
5) Oh and some US release dates for all the RPG's
6) Pictures of Schala in that Cheese outfit that was mentioned in one ofthe last mailbags
7) By the way what kind of cheese is it?
8) And could you ask square why they had to put in these terrible mini-games into FFX, because they are driving me crazy... I think I should stop playing it or I will need a new controller soon...

For the Celda discussion: I don't like the look of Link but what is more disturbing for me is the humour, I mean things like tiptoeing and stuff like that. I hoped for a more "serious" and "mature" game. That doesn't mean that I don't like quirky and cuddly games, but in a RPG I prefer a more serious approach because I like to sink into the world and story. But on the other side, I liked all games I have played so far from Miyamoto-san so I still have high hopes for Zelda. It's just that when you expect something and then you get something different you tend to reject it as a first reaction. As soon as I stop to think about the game I expected and just look at the game we get, I think I'll like (love) it. Just need a bit more time...

PS: In an older mailbag Schala asked if anybody knows the band X-Japan. It is my favourite J-Rock band, heck it is my favourite band. Sadly I never will get the chance to go to a concert now. The first time I heard a song from them was when I watched X the movie (anime), and the song "X" is still one of my favourite songs, I also love "Week end" and "Kurenai".


1) *drools uncontrollably*
2) Word is, it's going to be called Perfect Dark Zero. I haven't heard if the game will be at the show though, since Rare is working on like 5 other games at the moment, if not more. Rare itself won't be there, and as far as I know, never has been. Since Rare is so close with Nintendo, their stuff is just showcased in Nintendo's booth, next to their own games.
3) Ah yes. I too would love a multiplayer Secret of Mana on GBA. Though I'd like a new multiplayer Mana game even more. Though uh, preferably with SoM's system (as opposed to LoM).
4) Well, DMC2 will be there. I'll play it. And RPG or not, I have a feeling it'll be one of my more favorite games at the show, so expect mention of it in my E3 Impressions after the show.
5) Those will be coming too... though we have a lot of them already.
6) .....cheese outfit? I guess I missed something.
7) *repeat*
8) It's funny, so much of FFX is great (in my opinion... if you don't agree, I don't care), but the chocobo racing stuff and Blitzball are just plain bad. Well, the chocobo things are bad, all because of the shoddy control. Blitzball isn't bad per se, but I really don't like it much. It's too complex and too mindless at the same time. I'll stick with the main game, thanks.

I kinda agree on the Zelda thing. I did come around to accepting the graphics pretty quick, and still do, as I defend them a lot lately. I can deal with a cel-shaded Zelda. I'm not sure if I could deal with an over-the-top Looney Tunes-inspired silly game, full of moronic humor, as witnessed by the silly antics in the original trailer. I hope that's no indicative of the final game, and was only meant as a teaser. We'll find out soon though.

Closing Thoughts

Ugh. Tired. Busy tomorrow. Next week see you. These are not the droids you're looking for. Bye.

~ Chronologist, who will get very little sleep tonight (letters@rpgfan.com)


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Sunday, September 30
Final Fantasy XIV Patch 4.4 • 10am PDT/1pm EDT

Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals • 3pm PDT/6pm EDT

Star Ocean: Till The End of Time • 3:00pm PDT/5:30pm EDT
Wild ARMs 5 • 7pm PDT/10pm EDT

Wild ARMs 5 • 7pm PDT/10pm EDT

Kingdom Hearts - Re:Chain of Memories • 2:30pm PDT/5:30pm EDT
Wild ARMs 5 • 7pm PDT/10pm EDT

Final Fantasy IX • 3pm PDT/6pm EDT
Friday Super Variety Night • 7pm PDT/10pm EDT

Week in Review: Live • 11am PDT/2pm EDT
Wild ARMs 5 • 5pm PDT/8pm EDT

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Retro Encounter 154

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428: Shibuya Scramble Review

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