I've sat through BATMAN AND ROBIN, JURASSIC PARK: LOST WORLD, and even SECRET OF EVERMORE. Such landmark UNWATCHABLES are as famous in the entertainment industry as other works known for positive merit. Now, we have a fresh addition to those halls of...whatever. The point here is that the world is being filled with bad RPGs and nobody seems to notice. Tales of Destiny, Star Ocean, and now Grandia have been highly acclaimed. Well, I have to admit Grandia is a fairly well-assembled piece of work but does that make playing it worthwhile?

Hm, GRAPHICS. They're great. The game reminded me of Xenogears from the outset, which gave it perhaps 20 minutes of efficacy before I realized how silly this game is. Like Xenogears, but too colorful - but that's a matter of taste. Well, I have long since changed my stance from "2D purist"; graphics are very, very important as far as immersion goes. But many people still don't seem to be realizing that they can't carry a game. Since I didn't like this game at all, there's no use, really, in me spending too much time praising the graphics.

SOUND/MUSIC: What the? As soon as I turned on my Playstation, okay, it was actually a few moments later, I was struck by nauseating waves of old-school anime music. The stuff in the intro made me think that I was viewing such tripe as Galaxy Express 999 or whatever. Well, it really doesn't get any better in the game. I don't know what people are thinking, is this supposed to be epic? Maybe it would have won awards 20 years ago, but (hopefully) I'm not alone in saying that it is boring and not very moving. And, well, if the music sucks, who cares about the quality with which it was transferred? Sound effects aren't horrible, but nothing to draw one in, either.

STORYLINE: Ugh. I understand people must be calling the storyline a "lighthearted romp" or some such crap. Well, who hasn't seen this before? Very derivitive. This wouldn't bother many people, I can understand that. But for people who have played over 30 RPGs, yeah, well, many of us have noticed that the plots haven't changed much at all. I don't suppose we can expect any character to NOT be a cliché, but all-in-all this reads worse than a Disney movie. And the adults all act like silly little children. Well, no big deal, right? I've enjoyed many games and so very few of them had anything original about them (people still don't realize how much of Xenogears, one of my favorites, was ripped off from the Gunnm manga). However, somebody needed to say that there are too many such RPGs taking themselves too seriously. In addition to that, there aren't too many people who'll want to put up with this for 70 hours straight.

GAMEPLAY: Sucks. Looks like Xenogears, but you can't jump - why has there been so little advancement in RPG control, when there are still extra buttons? Travelling is done Illusion of Gaia style, and it does somewhat disrupt the gameplay, IMO. Makes the world seem disjointed. Just like so many other recent RPGs, there is a new, touted battle system, with some INNOVATIVE addition. Per usual, you'll wind up just pressing "attack" over and over, interspersed with as many unimpressive special attacks as you can manage whenever you fight one of the bosses. And just because the battles aren't random doesn't mean that every single one isn't trivial and mundane.

I guess they thought they'd make the game immersive by having certain objects react every time your character touches them, but it's just plain annoying. It's simply too bad that none of the changes to the RPG formula are needed. More like bells and whistles, but IMO they're more akin to bells around a cat's neck, with the players as mice who should, SHOULD be scared away by such sorry attempts to placate them.

OVERALL: In conclusion... ahem. I'm not telling anybody NOT to buy Grandia. It is really of no concern to me that such crappy games are consistently commercial successes, and there's very little that's any good on the market. But the fact is that I myself am very picky about how I spend my time, and I can't help but get a little irked when there's not a single reviewer on the "net" who shares my viewpoints, although I know I'm not alone in this. I am also dismayed by the state of RPGs, which in all honesty used to be my primary form of entertainment. It seems that having just recently become real cash cows, RPGs have entered a transitional phase. Everybody wants to make one and profit; the sheer 'love' of the game isn't what's putting it out anymore, but they're not quite big enough yet that companies are willing to hire any real talent. Or, at least not in the areas of development that I'd like, nor are they comfortable straying from the fairly conservative form that has been laid, and somewhat perverted since it's inception.

Grandia is far from grand. It's an almost thoroughly AVERAGE game. In closing, I urge all true RPG fans out there to think about the true purpose of reviews. When we write like this, we're not trying to persuade/dissuade consumers to/from buying the game in question. Truth be told, most of us are still going to buy every one that hits the market. I actually will read most reviews AFTER I've played through a game. Such as it is, when reviewing a game, please don't think so much about getting somebody to buy it, but with being totally honest about how you feel.

Whatever. Here it is:

GRAPHICS: 89% (Very nice... But nothing much we haven't seen before w/ Xenogears, etc) SOUND/MUSIC: 70%. (I suppose not as obtrusive as BoF III's "lite" jazz, eh? Just doesn't move me, either) STORYLINE: 50% (Let me watch TV for a few more years to kill my imagination, first. Maybe then I'll "appreciate" this game.) GAMEPLAY: 50% (If only they'd worry about making it fun instead of breaking new ground. This complaint should sound trite by now, but I haven't heard it too much) OVERALL: 70%. (Average. I don't know... back when I had more time on my hands I probably wouldn't have been so critical. It's not that the game really stressed me out; it wasn't that bad. It just didn't exactly have any high points. If you're just looking to distract yourself for the 70 or so hours, and not expecting anything epic, other than in length, then Grandia is for you. In that, especially, it's a child's game, since I can't think of many people other than children who have that kind of time to throw around on something unmeaningful. And prepare to be sedated, because interactivity is at an all-time low.)

Grandia: not for the strong of spirit.