Really, when they told me I have to fill out a biography section for myself when I was hired, I hoped I could write something short and pithy, like the Twitter posts I'm supposed to be writing. However, I was told that was not 2B, and I would have to actually draw the Master Sword, reach into the sea of my soul and not just write about the heroes of time and actually write about myself.
Prologue: Born in the cold, frozen wastelands of Narshe (also known as Boston, Massachusetts to the locals), I was barely old enough to be recruited for a tragic backstory before being whisked away to sunny California, where Silicon Valley managed to warp my brain into the proto-gamer I was supposed to be. Sadly, despite not dying of dysentery, I was considered not Contra enough, and put on an airship to Baltimore, Maryland, where I would complete my training on the original Game Boy and a healthy dose of 80s cartoons. This was the only console system I would have, save for a copy of King's Quest VI (without a manual and penchant for destroying motherboards it found too puny) and Riven, without any instructions in English, for the remainder of my youth.
It was only when I got to college was I saved by a rowdy bunch of gamers on an anime pirate ship (I endeared myself to the crew by managing to have a laptop that could hook up to the off market projectors in Boston University's CAS basement). Slowly, they nursed me back to geeky health with a steady diet of games with terrible fan translation, Geek Cons and DDR (sadly, hand-foot coordination is unlearnable for my species via TM).
Main Storyline: Fast forward to these apocalyptic times, I looked at my life as an illustrator and Special Education teacher in an urban public school and said, 'Gee, I'm still getting 6 hours of sleep a night, how can I make my life even more chaotic?' My flatmate, a kickass editor and retro gamer, offered to introduce me to several of her fellow staffers of RPGFan at MAGFest. After beating them all in a hotly contested game of Quiplash, I was summarily told I was hired. However, it took them another 10 months to decide what I would be allowed to do, and determined that I'd probably do the least amount of damage in 140 characters or less (HA! Joke's on them!).