We’re in the Calm Lands.
It’s a dry week for new RPGs, but do not, under any circumstances, lose faith (or Fayth, for that matter). This is the quiet before the storm. The remainder of November is going to be a gauntlet. You’re going to want to take a deep breath before clicking on this column, especially for the next fortnight’s worth of articles.
In the spirit of calmness, I’m not going to tell you folks an unrelated story about my childhood, my cat, my grandmother, or my brief, sultry love affair with the Sega CD. There shall be no sweet serenade, dear readers, for my singing voice must be withheld until it is needed. And rest assured, it will soon be needed.
Grab a nice glass of lemonade. Let’s take ourselves a leisurely stroll through a shortlist of RPGs coming this week.
Cupid Parasite – November 2nd (NA), November 5th (EU) (Switch)
If you’re a visual novel, and you’re not, like, the nail-bitingly dystopian variety, there’s a pretty good chance I’m going to try to locate a funny screenshot of you and use that for your weekly write up. As it happens, Cupid Parasite not only excels at providing funny screenshots but actively embraces them; the above image completely encapsulates the game’s premise.
Well, kinda.
In Cupid Parasite, you play the role of Lynette Mirror. She’s Cupid Corporation’s highest-ranking bridal advisor, and it’s your steamy task to find romance for the hottest and wealthiest singles in the bustling city of Los York. Oh, and you’re a literal goddess. So, there’s that.
Do you see those strapping lads? They’re the Parasite 5. They’re hopeless. And yet, they’re also handsome, thin, and fittingly extravagant. But please remember their hopelessness. It’s up to you, Ms. Mirror, to make the impossible possible. Hopefully, you’ll snag one of these men for yourself along the way.
Tales of Luminaria – November 4th (iOS, Android)
For you, the day week a mobile-only RPG headlined the entire list of new releases was the quietest day week of your life. But for Japan, it was Tuesday Thursday.
Tales of Luminaria is the next big thing in Bandai Namco’s line of smartphone entries in a franchise whose most recent console chapter ranks as one of the series’ very best. Can Luminaria bank on Tales of Arise‘s Western success and draw in a lucrative crowd? Maybe. Maybe not. The game will likely do fairly well regardless, seeing as smartphone free-to-play fare is hotter than fresh noodles throughout metro Japan.
A total of 21 playable protagonists, each with their own full-fledged storyline, ensures that Tales of Luminaria won’t exactly launch with a dearth of content. But it’s a company’s ability to keep exciting content flowing at a steady clip that is often the make-or-break for this type of game, not to mention a strong enough foundation for the game to stand out in an increasingly crowded pack.
Also Coming This Week
What do pixels, skeletons, and giant robots have in common? If you guessed anything other than “there’s an RPG this week featuring each of them, respectively,” well… there’s a chance you’re still right, but I’m not thinking too deeply, so I’m just going to say you’re wrong.
Project MIKHAIL – November 2nd (Early Access) (Windows)
Mankind’s annihilation is practically guaranteed. No, I’m not talking about climate change, although that’s its own can of worms, right? In this case, it’s an alien race known as the BETA. Well, if they’re not even calling themselves the ALPHA, how bad can they be? I mean, really. Bad enough to wipe us out, at least, which I guess makes humanity the DELTA or something. Anyway, Tactical Surface Fighters! That’s what developer aNCHOR Inc., fuzz, Inc. (wow, what a name!) wants you to pilot in order to save the world. Good mecha design works wonders, and Project MIKHAIL (the next entry in the Muv-Luv series) looks like an Early Access winner in that regard. Go and see for yourself!
Skeletal Avenger – November 4th (Switch)
In Skeletal Avenger, you’re a skull-chucking skeletal warrior. That’s a bit morbid if you think about it, and not just because you’re a skeleton. It’s like, “I’m already just a skeleton, so these are just skulls, so I can just throw them, right, and that’s justice.” I don’t know, it just creeps me out on several levels. And now I can creep myself out on multiple platforms, too, because this brief PC exclusive has made its bone-rattling hop to Switch.
Pixel Heroes: Mega Byte & Magic – November 5th (Switch)
Well, what do you know? It’s another game that initially made tracks on Steam, adventuring this week to Nintendo’s hybrid rock star machine. 33 classes, 17 dungeons, lunatic NPCs, and more make this the definitive version of the originally-titled Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic. Do you see? They added a “mega,” making this extra-cool and worthy of your attention. Oh, and there’s permadeath, so, you know, try not to become a skeletal avenger?
Well, well, well. If it isn’t my weekly outro segment.
Here’s my advice. Take a deep breath. You’re going to need it. Next week is a deluge of hot new releases. And unless you’re Jbumi — yes, I am indeed dropping a shoutout to a regular reader! — there’s a decent chance you’re chomping at the bit to dive into something immediately.
But seriously, though. A skeleton tossing skulls at people. I don’t know, it just weirds me out. is that normal?
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