The Go Away Rean Schwarzer Award
Ladies and gentlemen, we would now like to announce this year’s Go Away Rean Schwarzer Award nominees. And they are:
Rean Schwarzer in Trails of Cold Steel!
Rean Schwarzer in Trails of Cold Steel 2!
Rean Schwarzer in Trails of Cold Steel 3!
And, finally, Rean Schwarzer in Trails of Cold Steel IV!
And the winner of the 2022 Go Away Rean Schwarzer Award, and the character that still won’t learn his lesson and will come back this summer for Trails Into Reverie because god forbid we go one game without spotlighting him anymore, is Rean Schwarzer! Rean has now become the three-pete winner of this award, joining (but definitely nowhere near as cool as) the likes of Jordan and Jeter as three-pete champions. Thankfully, despite his return for yet another game, he will share the spotlight with the much better main protagonist in the Trails series, Lloyd Bannings. We can all sleep a bit better knowing this! After Reverie, however, we can finally, FINALLY, say goodbye to Rean Schwarzer for good. So long, and not-so-happy trails, Rean!
Who’s The Boss Award!
The ultimate ’80s question comes back, and now we need to ask, “Who’s the boss?” Is it Tony Danza? Is it The Boss from the Metal Gear series? Is it Big Boss from the Metal Gear Series? Is it Boss Baby from that weird movie about a baby who is a boss? No, it’s none of those, nor anyone else except Eunie! Yas, Eunie’s the boss! Come on, who else? Her plumage might be everywhere and feathers are a bitch to dry, but she is definitely the boss and not a spoon. (Lanz, however, totally is a spoon.) When your plan of attack is to hit ’em, then hit ’em again, your plan can’t fail! Eunie and her voice actor Kitty Archer had me smiling and laughing throughout all of Xenoblade Chronicles 3. Kitty brought to life an absolutely fantastic character in an almost magical way, one who will go down as one of the greats in RPGs. Just remember, everyone, Eunie has two more questions to ask everyone: What about babies? Do you have any babies!?
The Girl With The Gall Award!
Yippie, Sena is the girl with the gall! What do you call Sena when she is playing basketball? The girl with the ball. What do you call Sena when she is on the phone? The girl with the call. What do you call Sena when she is in Super Smash Bros.? The girl in the brawl. What do you call Sena when she rolls a Necromancer in DND? The girl with the thrall. What do you call Sena when she is in the Breaking Bad universe? The girl who’d better call Saul. Alright, alright, I’ll stop! I have a million of them, though. Oh yeah, Sena was amazing, if that wasn’t obvious. Her friendship with the rest of the cast, especially Lanz and Mio, was endearing. We all love you, Sena, even if you end up with a dirty con-science!
The Rest of the Xenoblade Chronicles 3 Cast Award!
Sena is the girl with the gall and Eunie may be the boss, but the rest of Xenoblade Chronicles 3‘s cast is no slouch, either. Noah, Mio, Taion, Eunie, Sena, and even that spoon Lanz were a fantastic ensemble cast and quickly cemented Xenoblade Chronicles 3 as an all-time top favorite game for me. Character groups like this don’t come around very often. They are also supported by a plethora of secondary and tertiary characters that vibe well with the main cast. You know the characters are great when you feel that pang in the pit of your stomach after the credits roll because you knew you probably wouldn’t be seeing them again. Here’s hoping the DLC will let us spend a bit more time with these fantastic characters!